EDM: Reaction Formation

We were talking about stress levels in class today. Mr. Justin mentioned creative tension. That's when a leader utilises the stress he/she is feeling and channels it into achieving the goals that were set out. He said that we all need to have is the right amount of stress to get us going. We need to be just stressed enough to want to achieve our goal and strive towards it. Not too little (may be anxious but don't work towards the goal) and not too much (too stressed out to function properly).

Mr.J used the LLS assignment as an example. The assignment is due next Monday and he asked us to imagine how we would feel if the assignment was due on Friday instead; and what it if was due tomorrow. Many people said that they'd be on stress overdrive, which sounds about right. I, on the other hand, said that I wouldn't be stressed, which isn't far from the truth. I actually wouldn't be as stressed as the rest of the class.  I mean, sure it's important to my overall CGPA but I think I'd be able to finish it in time and even if I didn't, it wouldn't be the end of the world for me.

So then I asked him, what if someone wasn't the type to feel stressed? He said it most probably meant that whatever needed to be done wasn't important to that person. He went on to explain but my brain went into overdrive right then and I didn't catch what he said after that.

Is that why I feel demotivated? Is this not important enough to me? Is that why I'm so laid back? I mean, yeah, I'm relaxed because I know I still have time and that I'll be able to complete the assignment but does disinterest also contribute to this lack of stress?

I feel substantially upset right now. Am I doing the right thing here?

I don't know. I really don't know.

The next part of the lecture was about positive reinforcement. Mr. J showed us a video about a man who validated parking tickets and his customers. He became well known and he spread positivity around the world (his community) by saying nice things to people to make them smile. One day, he saw a woman and fell in love at first sight, but try as he may, she just wouldn't smile. He gave up for a while.

But then he rediscovered the joy of making people smile. He went back to spreading positivity. Later on, he saw this woman again and she was smiling. She said that when she was young, her mother became sick and she hasn't smiled since then. But one day, a man made her mother smile. And she knew it was him. Her mother was smiling again and so was she.

The rest, they say, is history.

The point he (Mr. J) was trying to make is that everyone wants to be heard; we want people to really see us. Sincerity is important. Nowadays, if someone says something nice to us, we don't take it so well. It may not be true for all of us, but it is for most. The fact is, we aren't used to people being genuinely nice to each other and so we are natural suspicious. It's sad.

And I guess what I'm trying to say is that we don't reinforce people enough. Today, all I really needed was some positive reinforcement. I just wanted to feel all warm and fuzzy inside, you know.

That's all.