I used to be really good at coming up with titles

Sometimes I get this sudden and overwhelming feeling of anxiety about the future.

I begin to worry about getting a job, getting a house, work shoes. I worry about what I'd be like and whether I'd be able to get more tattoos and what if my current tattoos prevent me from getting a job. I worry about even finding a job. I worry about the future need to get a new laptop, about new clothes and a new bras. I worry about what life will be like and what the world will be like. I worry about who my friends will be and if the current friends I have will still be around. I feel anxious.

All this worrying happens for like 3 minutes and then I go back to being unperturbed.

I think there's a word for this feeling but I can't seem to find it.

Anyway, moving on. I have a meeting with my thesis supervisor this week. I'm really excited about it but I'm also a little nervous. I have a rough idea of what I want my topic to be but I've not done much research on it yet and I'm wondering if I should. I mean, I know that the first few conversations that I will have with my supervisor is going to revolve around refining my topic, but wouldn't it be amazing and totally productive if I went in for this meeting well prepared?

The answer is yes, of course it would.

I have a paper due on Thursday. I should finish writing it tomorrow so I can start some thesis research. I don't want to let my supervisor down and I want this thesis to be well thought out and well written. It's not impossible and I will do it.

So, decision made. I will do some research before the meeting so I can have a productive conversation with my supervisor.

Also, if I get some research done now, I can put aside thesis work in October and focus on assignments instead. I have like, 6 assignments due that month. It'll be the month when I feel like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Once every semester.

Ok.

That's all. I just really wanted to write down how I sometimes feel about the future. But then the words started flowing and here we are. This worrying thing has happened 2-3 times this past couple of weeks. That's more than usual and it's kind of freaking me out.