Blessed and trying to stay sane

Everyday, I think about how blessed I am. Financially: I have a roof over my head and I don't pay rent, I have a car and my mother pays the loan, I have a job and I make enough to cover my bills and expenses, and I'm able to save some every month.

Socially: I have a family that loves me and cares about me, a family that I wouldn't exhange for the world, chores are shared (mostly taken care of), friends I enjoy spending time with, colleagues that are generous and friendly.

Mentally and emotionally: I'm fully functional and able to exist within a society, I'm self aware and able to introspect, stable (I'd like to think).

All in all, I'm in a pretty good place and I'm grateful for that. I have the luxury of enjoying an overpriced Starbucks once in a while; I can buy make up and shoes and clothes; I can eat at cafés and restaurants; I enjoy my job; with some careful planning, I can go on holiday to a different continent; I feel loved and cared for.

Sometimes I start to wonder if I should wholly embrace this luxury and take one day at a time, forgoing any sort of long term plan because this is something I can afford to do right now: should I go backpacking? Become a full time freelancer? Get involved in innovative and exciting projects? Get a job across the world?

Or should I be practical: save up as much as I can so that I can buy a house one day? Make sure my five year plan ends up with me getting a Masters degree and entering the professional world psychology?

Part of me wants to be practical, because stability is reassuring. Part of me wants spontaneity because liberty is exciting. Some might say you can have both. That the liberty to be practical is still freedom, and I agree. Some might say spontaneity and practicality aren't mutually exclusive, and I agree too.

The challenge is in finding the balance. In finding a practical life that allows for liberty and excitement, a reality that doesn't feel like a chore and isn't uncertain. And the trick to not feeling stuck, at least for me, is to try new things. Life can't be boring or predictable when there are new factors to the equation.

So I have to make a point to eat new food, make new art, learn new skills or learn new tricks for existing skills, meet new people, try new exercises, bake new things. That's one strategy I have to stave off insanity.

The other, which I've learnt from personal experience and the experiences of others, is to declutter. Declutter my living space, declutter my mind, decluttery phonebooks and wardrobe and laptop and shoe cabinet. Declutter my ideals and ideas and goals. Declutter and organise what's left so that I have a clearer view of what matters to me.