It's like there's so much stuff in my head. I can feel it trying to push it's way out. All the words and thoughts and emotions. I can feel it expanding and pushing against my brain, my eyes.
I haven't written anything in a while and I realised that this is what happens when I don't write. I internalise and it kinda hurts my brain. I almost feel as if I'm imploding and exploding at the same time.
Anywhere, here's me releasing some pressure. Let's start with a statement.
I do not like researching.
That's pretty much a bad thing to say at this point of my university education, yes? Yes. It really is.
50% of HELP's Bachelor of Psychology course is centered on research. 50% of my assignments involve research. And I absolutely abhor it. Learning is fun. I love reading my textbooks and looking up the latest finds. What I don't like is pouring over journals trying to find gaps in the research and reading through a million paragraphs talking about significant results.
So I am a little sad about that. I'm only doing it because I have to and I know that's not what good research is built on. I have to want it. I have to like researching. But I don't. So either I learn to like it or I push myself to do it as well as I can.
One thing I've always wanted is learning the proper skills required to be a counsellor. That, however, is going about as bumpy as the road outside my house. The lecturer is doing her best to guide us but so far, I still feel so lost. I think I have to just be a little more patient. I know that practicing helps so I hope that in time, I'll be a more confident about counselling.
Anyways. that's something. My head feels a little lighter now. Back to reading journals for my experiment work. Ergh.
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