Empathy, bro.

I should be working on my assignment right now but I'm here writing to you instead. I could say that I'm taking a break but let's be honest, I've been on a break for the past 3 hours and right now, I'm extending it. This is my version of procrastination.

I was thinking, you know how I don't really care about what other people may think of me except maybe a handful of people?

Well, I realised that somewhere along the way, I've added more and more people to that list. It's not that I care more about what these specific people think. No. It's just that I've started to worry about how other people may perceive me. I'm letting that get to me.

Now, I know that caring about how people see you is not necessarily a bad thing. I just don't want to be that person. I like being me and not having to live my life according to society's standards. I don't want to have to wake up in the morning and worry about how I look to other people. What I want is to be able to choose to put on eyeliner because I like how it looks.

So that's what I'm going to do. I shall place all anxiety in a box and place it as far away in my mind as possible. I don't want it and I will not let it dictate how I live my life.

Anywho, that assignment I should be working on; it's about counselling. Specifically, questioning skills. I really like the class. It's informative and very helpful not just to aspiring counsellors but to individuals. It makes you really think about how you respond to people, how you listen to them and how you react to them. I never knew that listening behaviour was so important.

Now, every time I'm speaking to someone or listening to a friend, I am acutely aware of my body language and theirs. I try to make sure I convey that I'm listening to them without actually saying, "HEY I'M LISTENING TO YOU". I pay attention to them, their eyes, body language. The greatest bit is that by just paying a little more attention to your conversational partner, you find that you actually have the ability to empathise.

Empathy is immensely important, I think , in any relationship. Being able to relate to a person and what they're going through is the best thing you can do to make them feel loved. You don't even have to provide a solution. Just listen to them, understand their point of view and pay attention.

During practices in class, I realised that being heard makes me feel a whole lot better. Sure, as counsellors, we want to guide people to solutions they already have in their minds. We want to help them grow and develop. We want to help. But as a friend, just a normal friend, you want to listen and empathise. seriously, that is golden in a conversation.

Now, I better get back to writing.

I have a full day tomorrow. I made a to-do list. Here's to hoping I will follow it!