Admittedly, I was feeling pretty dejected yesterday and in the past few weeks.
I wrote my feelings out on a piece of paper (typed out on an electronic paper but those are just minor details) and it felt good to get the words out of my head.
This morning, I was feeling a little better. Still gloomy but not terribly so. As the day went by, I laughed a little, on social cues. Then I laughed a little more because people were being funny. And eventually, I started laughing because I wanted to.
My lecturer was funny, my friends were funny, my new friend was funny and even though the sky accurately reflected my morning mood, my heart felt lighter.
I did kinda sink a little before I left uni. I had a good day and the thought of being locked inside my own head again was a little daunting. My heart reflected the sky, just then.
So I got on the bus after a calming hug from Peter. I tried very hard not to scowl. I focused on my new shoes and kept telling myself to lighten up. It was a mantra in my head. The bus went along it's merry way, headed towards the LRT station.
Then a guy boarded the bus. He took out a deck of cards and started to shuffle it in like a gazillion different ways. Sometimes he stumbled, sometimes he was so quick. Being the tactless little weasley that I am, I just stared at his hands, shuffling the deck, flipping cards and doing tricks.
He saw me looking and so he said he had way too much free time on his hands. Then I watched him practice a little more. After a minute or so, he asked me to pick a card from the deck. He did a little 'magic' trick where he shuffled the deck and found my card.
I saw the trick though and I told him so (yea Kath, strike at a guys ego before you even introduce yourself. Genius).
Anyways, we started talking a little after that. He's name is Joshua and he's an ADP student. He's been shuffling cards with style for about 6 months and he thinks I look like I'm 18 years old (What's new? When he said that, I just said, "Yea, I know." Perfect, if I wanted to sound arrogant.) I told him I was from Shah Alam and he proceeded to say something in terrible BM (he admitted he was terrible at it ok) and I said I've heard worse (not much worse, to be honest, but one point to me for not damaging his ego even more).
Then we reached the station and went our separate ways.
What I realised the whole time was that I couldn't help myself from smiling this really awkward new person smile (which he had on as well). That's ok. To be expected. But my smile was accompanied by thoroughly confused looking eyes. That's how I greet new people when I'm on my own. I smile awkwardly and look at them like I'm a confused Castiel trying to figure out how to work sarcasm in season 4 (a Supernatural fan might get that reference. If you are not an SPN fan, then it simply means I looked very, very, very confused)
.I should work on my socialising skills.
On another note, the experiment meeting went well, I think. We managed to decide on a few important details. We're making progress and I think we can pull this off. I sure hope that our research is sound. If it's not..... NO. It is sound. We're covering all the bases. EVERYTHING, EVERY BASE SHALL BE COVERED!
I thank God for this good day. I felt him today, in all the joy. Not so much in religion though, just God.
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