'I'm not late, I was downst...'
'And why aren't you wearing your uniform?'
'It's a long story. Let's just say it's in no condition to be worn'
'You can't come to school like this. We can send you back, you know'
'But, my dog got to my unifrom. I had no choice'
'That's not the point. You can't do this. Don't you at least have a school t-shirt?'
'No (duh!)'
***
That's what went on as soon as I sat down in class (unfortunately, my table is right next to the teachers desk). Honestly, it's near impossible to talk to her. She never listens. She never wants to listen because she's always right. It can't be any other way. (What? You mean her being wrong? Yeah right!)
No, I don't have a school tracksuit or t-shirt. I don't need or want to spend RM50 on something I'll probably only wear once or twice. In fact, once I'm done with it, I'll probably never see it again.
Furthermore, what's wrong with what I was wearing? A black tracksuit and plain black shirt is what you told us to wear if we didn't have the school t-shirt. So that's what I wore. Yeah, today was not a sports day or anything like that, but I had no choice. It's not like I asked my dog to wreck the uniforms. (I hear her voice in my head again, saying, 'But you can't wear this!') Well, then what do you expect me to wear? The school uniform that smells like dog and accessorised with fur or the one that smells like dog and accessorised with dirt? Frankly, I wouldn't mind wearing either one of those uniforms if it weren't for the fact that I didn't want to be ignored even more than I already am.
One girl actually came up to me and asked me if I wore the tracksuit and t-shirt on purpose. Come on lah! Who do you think I am? The school rebel? The little rascal? An out of control misfit? You don't know me at all, so please don't judge me. You don't know me because you don't take the time to find out. You do, however, see fit to make conclusions about the kind of person I am based on some vague details you've managed to glean about me from your observations in school? Basically, that I'm an emo teen, ready to lash out at everyone just because I don't talk or smile much, I come to school looking glum almost everyday and I exude an i-don't-care-about-exams attitude. Well, that's not really me. So please, don't get you knickers in a bunch and run the opposite direction when you see me just because you think you know me. If you want to ignore me go ahead. I have no problem with that. I'm not a loner, but I have no problems with solitary confinement.
I know I sound mean, but there's only so much nonsense I can take. Almost all of them look at me like you would a hard core criminal who got released early on good behaviour. Fear & anxiety (that you might be next), awe (that anyone could be capable of such acts) and indifference (because no one cares about ex-convicts). HELLO! Human being here! We come with feeling, just in case you forgot.
Alright, before I continue on with my whining and ramblings, let me tell you what happened this morning. My lovely ex-dog, RaRa, decided to have some fun on his last night here. 'Twas raining, so we tied him nearer the inside area for shade but being the intelligent dog that he is, he bit through his leash and broke free. All hell broke loose, as you can imagine. There were clothes lying everywhere and shoes ripped to pieces. By the time we realised what had happened (it was really early in the morning, when everyone was still as sleep), RaRa had had all his fun and was lying down peacefully at his spot. My mum and I counted the damage and we found that the clothes needed another round in the washer, her work shoes were gone and my slipper was half eaten. Even my school shoe laces are falling apart. My head was spinning. On one hand, I was furious at him for behaving so terribly and on the other, I was panicking about my school uniform which got pulled around by the dog along with some other clothes.
My exam only started at 12 so ma suggested that i go to school late. Yes? No, not an option. So I went to school in the P.E outfit. Not a bad idea, but not a very helpful one either (as you've already discovered).
I'm just so mad at my teacher now. Where's you're flexibility? So, this is the best school in the area? I beg to differ. The canteen sells food that's barely edible, the koperasi, which has sales persons who can't subtract RM1.50 form RM5.00 without a calculator, sells virtually nothing, most teachers are so caught up in trying to get promotions that they're not teaching so much as drilling knowledge into us and most students have no manners at all. I can't wait for this period of my life to be over with. I'll be glad to put it behind me (At least that's how I feel now, but don't be surprised if I end up liking it later on. I don't see how that can happen, but anything is possible).
I was really hungry after reaching school but I didn't dare open the packet of oatmeal cookies I had in my bag. My teahcer might have just sent me to jail. I'm not afraid of the gaol, though. It's the paperwork that terrifies me :)
*Ma told me to look at things from another angle when I told her about what teacher said in school regarding the uniform situation. She said that as a teacher (and not just any teacher, a discipline teacher no less), what I did was indeed wrong. I should not have worn what I did to school because it was just wrong. I should have been more careful and planned my laundry schedule better. I see her point. Although, I still think she could have afforded some flexibility.
One more thing, during the Micro Economy exams, I had nothing better to do but this:
More to come tomorrow, if I'm in the mood. Macro Economy is up :)
Oh well, till we meet again!