Sketchy Week

It's been one hell of a week, to say the least.
My emotions were yanked every possible way and I actually went for 3 days without watching Doctor Who.

The only consolation is that this week is almost over. Almost being the operative word. One more day left. And then I start all over again

The week started off ok, just like any other week. I had an assignment due on Wednesday but to be honest, that was the least stressful part of my week. I was typing a lot but ok. Assignment? Meh. I managed just fine.

Emotions, on the other hand.

Things were going wrong left, right and center. Mostly right and center.

I also learnt that my skills of deduction are pretty limited. Really, I'm terrible at deducing. And I also think I'm like an open book. I thought I was pretty good at not showing emotions when I don't want to but apparently not. Well, that's something to work on.

Also, my typing has gone haywire. In this post alone I found a dozen mistakes.

On another note, sometimes I wish. I just wish. I day dream a lot because it's better than reality. Don't you think so?

Anyways, I want to live in a lighthouse. Also, I want a farm. So, that would be a lighthouse (near the ocean, of course) with a farm. I can picture it clearly in my head. I'd like to live in that place one day. Retire there.

Mhm. Ok, that's all for now.
Sorry if this post seems a little sketchy. I hope you had a better week than me. Honestly, I can't wait to get back to class on Monday. I'm dreading the holidays la. Grr.

Jeremiah 29:11 - I Will Get My Candy!

Do you know how frustrating it is to be stuck inside your own head? It's like, everything you are, everything you do and think is contained in this tiny orb that is your head and there are times when it all gets a little too much or too bright that this orb might just explode.

That's how it feels to be me at this moment. I can feel all these thoughts and emotions swirling around inside my head and there's nothing I can do to slow it down or make it less swirly. Actually, there is something I could do but it's not a good idea for me to do it. Throwing stuff around may be therapeutic but it's not good behaviour. So, I remain stuck.

This reality I'm in is no fun at all. Everything around me is moving at a simple speed. Just the usual calmness of everyday life. And then there's my head, in which I'm stuck, that's moving so fast, I can barely comprehend what's going on let alone figure out how to slow it down.

It's like I'm in a soundproof room with windows. Inside, everything is just so loud I can barely hear myself think or make sense of any one noise. But at the same time, I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I can see the chaos (not literally because you can't actually see sound) but there's nothing I can do about it. Like, I can't actually hear the chaos but I know it's there so my brain makes me think I can hear it. Projecting or something like that.

There's this constant banging noise in my head. It's just there and I can't make it go away. It's become too distracting that I can't hear what's going on around me. I mean, I can hear it but I can't seem to make sense of it. I hear someone speak but I don't fully process it.

The only time I can calm it down is when I turn up the music. When I let music into my ears, the noise relaxes. It's still there, loud as ever but more organised. Kind of like it's dancing to the tune or something. It's better. But when the music stops, the thinking starts and I'm back to square one.

I feel bruised and battered. My mind, my emotions, my mental well being has been hit by a baseball bat so many times, I've lost count. I don't think I can take any more. And yet, here I am, taking more hits because  there's really no other option for me. I am that kid, walking through a rose bush, being pricked by thorns and stung by bees but I keep going because I was promised candy on the other side and by God, I will get my candy!

Because God promised me. Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

I believe in God and I believe in his promises. This keeps me going. My future is out there, waiting for me and I'm going to reach it. It's only a matter of time... and lots of noise before I finally get to it. This journey will shape me and mould me. It will not destroy me.

As for the moment, I think I'll revisit the idea of throwing stuff around. To destroy is to create, right? So, maybe I should sculpt (breaking stone or wood into something that resembles something else sounds promising) or maybe I should build something (nail and hammer sounds perfect to me) or take up kickboxing (I doubt that will ever happen).

* Jer 29:11. It was the best confirmation gift I ever received. From the Spykermans

2+1+1

Hey cyberspace.
So, as you know, I've left this part of the world wide web alone for a while now. My excuse; I've been buried under tons of work. But no fret! I'm finally getting the hang of it. Clue; Do NOT Procrastinate!

Anyways, Upper 6 has been a doozy so far. I've had different dramas in school, some drama at home and some internal drama as well. I think I'll start off with the school drama. First up, it seems that since Form 6 is only a year and a half, the drama decided to take the fast lane. Everything is snowballing faster than it used to. The four of us became 2 + 2, then 3 + 1 and now I've just made it 2 + 1 + 1; all in less than a year!

Friction was bound to spark into flames with two completely different personalities clashed. Sure, they seemed all 'BFF'-like at first, but any fool could see that it was only temporary. They didn't have any friends and so they stuck together. Now, sparks started flying and the camp has broken into 3. One over sensitive girl with anger management issues who thinks that knowing people will get her places and believes that the world revolves around her (one side), a guy who is an amazing character with self consciousness issues and has no idea when to keep his big mouth shut + a tough on the outside, soft on the inside girl who knows exactly the kind of people she likes and dislikes and will not turn back from a grudge without some major work (the other side), and the girl whose in love with all three of them but knows that she can't change them if they don't want to be changed and is stuck somewhere in the middle and is this close (holds thumb and forefinger 2mm apart) to knocking their heads together (that's me, making up the finally part of the equation).

I'm a much calmer person these days but sometimes I just wish I was my old self. The old me would have snapped along time ago (and lost all my friends in the process but at least I'd be at peace). However, I can't do that now. So I'm taking the 'Peace-No-War' road. I tried to explain to each person about the varieties of a human being and maybe steer them into making some changes. An obvious plan... that failed miserably. I found out why two days ago. One Father Paul taught me that change lies in the individual. You can't change anyone but yourself. You can do good and hope for change but it's a long shot. It's better to not even hope for change in anyone but yourself. Foolhardy (?).

Conclusion, I'm stuck. I'll be myself. Try my hardest to make changes in myself for the better and (since I'm an optimist) hope that people will make the right changes for themselves. I think I'll sign off now. It's really late and I have a reasonably long day ahead of me. Stay tuned for the next update! :)

A Blogspot Tumblr Moment

.this goes out to all guys.
We girls like to have guy friends who are sweet and caring and are friendly. But you have to know that there is an obvious line between brotherly love and love love. Trust me, we try our best to not send you mixed signals too. If we do, that means we're already confused.




Some people, some really special ones, have made a huge impact on my life.
I love you for who you are and who I've become because of you.
I am me because of the people I've met and
though I may change (for change is inevitable),
I shall never forget you (for memories are meant to last forever).

.magic.
it's everywhere, just like the stars



.one voice is better than silence.
.passion and truth trumps violence and ignorance.
.anytime, anywhere.



Peace, No War.
When will everyone get that? 



.I do feel like this sometimes.
Everyone is so happy and here I am, upset at something, wondering what is everyone smiling about. But you know, I mentioned before that I live for moments, so when everyone is trying to cheer me up, I tend to smile and feel better. At least for a while. After that I go back to frowning. However, what I remember the most are the moments, smiling moments. Bad moments are ever present too but like in the picture, no matter how outstanding the frown is, it's always outnumbered by the smiles. How can you compete with that, right?

need I say more?

 

Forgive because it helps you.
Forgive because it's right.
But most of all, forgive because you can.





"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

   



.Life's Code.
At least it is for me. I just need to be reminded constantly..
:):)

 



How can I not be?
There may be hate everywhere I go BUT there's much more love and beauty surrounding it.
This is the world I was born into, this is the world that I will leave behind.
And this is the world that I belong in. At least that's something I know for sure!
:)

Kath's Brain Chemistry 101

Today, BossBoss asked me what I was thinking about (I tend to zone out sometimes, hence the question). I tired to tell him but everything came out as a jumbled mess (to me it was perfectly clear but judging by the expression on his face, he understood nothing). I wanted to say it wasn't anything important but that's not completely true (though it felt like it at the time). I wanted to explain my thoughts but I just didn't know how. I was thinking about anything, everything and nothing at the same time (doesn't seem possible right?). My thoughts and feelings are closely linked so I tired explaining them simultaneously but that didn't work out either.

I kept thinking, organising and reorganising my thoughts on the drive home. I think I've got it. It's not perfect but it's comprehensible - which is what I'm aiming for right now. Fine tuning can be done later.

When I'm at home, I think of nothing much but home. I just do stuff around the house without much thinking of anything else. When I'm home, I'm fine not doing or thinking anything at all. When I'm at school, I think about homework and classes. I think about CSS and my friends and the Editorial Board. When I'm in school, I also think about my escape, my safe place (Friday's). Sometimes, I get very restless at school or at home. I'm not sure why though. I just feel like I have so much energy in me. I need to jump up and down or scream!

When I'm at my safe place, I feel like everything shrinks. Everything that's bothering me that may have seemed like a big deal becomes just a minor issue. My mind isn't completely void of thought or worry but they just seem minuscule. When I'm talking to BossBoss or even just listening to him talk or watching him work, I feel like I'm away from everything and I'm in my own world. Whenever I see Sunny or BossBoss, I get a huge hug from them both. In that moment when I'm being hugged, everything melts away - all my insecurities and doubts, all my troubles and worries. They're just gone and I'm calm. My brain stops working on overdrive and I can just sit, listening to them talk without anything to overtax my brain. I love being there with them because they somehow manage to make me feel like this without even trying. When I'm sitting next to BossBoss and he's telling me about this and that, I'm completely focused. Even when he's on the computer doing whatever it is managers do, I just like to watch him work. The same goes for when I'm talking with Crazy. We swap stories and thoughts and I'm completely lost in another world. I like to ask him question after question when he's working and the great thing is, he never feels annoyed. He just goes with it:)

However, once I leave Friday's, my security blanket just comes crashing down. Everything get bigger and I start counting down the days till I see them again.

Right now, I have to find a way to keep this explanation in my brain until I see BossBoss again. I think once he understands how my brain chemistry works he'll get what I'm saying whenever he asks me what I'm thinking. That way, we wont have to spend half an hour of me rapidly spluttering out incomplete sentences and BossBoss trying his hardest to comprehend what I'm trying to say. Although, it's during those moments that I feel completely at peace with the world. Just BossBoss and I trying to figure out some great puzzle. Just calm in my brain at the same time I'm trying to explain the mess. Chaos Theory, I suppose.

Oh well, I'll have to remember to tell him this when I see him again.

Anyways, I'm going to go back to being the house zombie that I am.
Toodles:)

Paramore!

We arrived at the stadium about an hour early. We queued up at the back of the right most line because we thought there were different entrances for each ticket price. Oh, how wrong we were. June and I managed to squeeze in between people and get to the front in less than 15 minutes. Before we knew it, we were in. Since we still had lots of time, we decided to wait for Aqil before heading to our seats. While we were waiting, we met the guy from Sunway. The one who wanted to know where A Cut Above was. Unbelievable right? It's moments like these that make me go, "It's a small world after all!." Anyway, Aqil came in and we made our way to our seats.

Paramore was AWESOME! The moment we saw Hayley on stage, everyone went nuts! Our seats we're quite good actually. We weren't exactly right in front of the stage but we had a really good view. Also, it wasn't as packed in our box as it was in front of us. We could see Hayley's orange hair very clearly from where we sat (I think we would be able to see it even if we were fa away. Haha!).

I'm not such a huge Paramore fan. I only know whatever songs that they released to the radio. Even then, I didn't know all the lyrics. A little down-grading but we had a blast just head-banging along to the tunes. Whichever songs we didn't know, June and I just sat down and watched the crowd or the sky. For those that we did know, we stood on the chair, jumping, singing along and dancing. We went crazy! We sang along to Decode and Brick By Boring Brick and The Only Exception. We were in our own world. It was awesome. At the end, she invited a fan onto the stage to sing one of the songs. He went nuts. She gave him the microphone and before he started singing he managed to get a picture of them together. How awesome is that?! All in all, an awesome experience.

Before I end this post, I'd like to tell the world about this spectacular (not really!) poet in my class. I think he wrote close to 10 verses in the span of 1 hour. Not all of them great and most of them were laughable, but one or two, though no professional, were very nice. Here's the one or two poems that he penned (each verse stands on it's own, not a continuation of the one before):

The texture of metal
A crave for the tongue
Bursting all over the lies
A sinful delight
To see the light

If you find yourself
In a dark place
With blood puring everywhere
Don't worry dear
You are in my heart

Your looks blow me away
Your eyes make me suffer
I'm growing in your heart
in your eyes poems are read
(This one was written in Tamil, translated to English. Sounds much better in Tamil)

Past, Present and If Tomorrow Comes

Yay! I finally did what I was planning to since the last term break. I sat in Friday's and did my homework yesterday! Once I completed it, had a Chocolate Chip Shake and a plate of Nachos. The only thing missing was June, but I did have a great time. After finishing my work, I started on my first Sidney Sheldon book, 'If Tomorrow Comes'. It's very interestingly written, taking the reader through what happened to the main character and how that affected her personality and life choices. I can't wait to know the ending, and to start on another Sidney Sheldon book. I guess it's safe to say, I've got the reading bug back.

Today, I hung out with Visha. Dinesh and Romina were supposed to come but due to unforeseen circumstances, they had to cancel. We still had a great time though. We sat in Starbucks and wanted to start on our Literature homework, but we only got as far as understanding the question. We started talking and we didn't stop. We talked for a few hours in Starbucks and then we had lunch (when it was apparent that Romz wasn't going to make it) at Fullhouse. We talked even more there, and then proceeded to a DIY photo shoot. We took model-like and crazy-like pictures at the most picturesque spots (not really picturesque, but quite awesome). Visha and I talked about almost everything, Boys, school, friends, food, family, emotions. We had loads of fun. (Pictures will be posted A.S.A.P!)

As for Sidney Sheldon, I'm almost done. A few more pages and I'm ready for another one :)

I had some really catchy phrases of my own concoctions a few minutes ago but my speeding brain just raced through and I can't remember any of it at all. How disappointing.

Lo! I actually didn't want to blog today (because it's so late and I have school tomorrow) but I couldn't help myself. I received an e-mail today from..... MY PAST SELF!! I found a website, exactly a year ago, that allows me to type out an e-mail and have  it sent to me whenever I wanted. To be honest, I never knew how much difference a year has made. It wasn't anything very personal so I'm going to post it here:

Dear FutureMe,

heya.. how's life working out for you? have you found job you like? have you found someone to love? good for you if you have.. if not, you've been waiting a few years, so whats another year right? but you've got to try.. how would you know if he loves you too when you don't even try? messed up once, don't do it again..

anyway, i wonder what you look like? do me a favour will you.. look into a mirror and think back about the past year? was it all you wished for? did you stumble upon love and live your life the way you always wanted??..

and if you haven't dyed you hair yet, go do it now!..

finally, right now (11.14pm:13.oct.2009), ma is sleeping, and Christian is working.. Dillon is barely 3 weeks old and I'm (or you are) tired as hell and scared cz the big exams are only 26 days away(hope we did well).. phew!!.. that was a long one.. haha..

love,
your younger self.. you'll be hearing from yourself again.. :)



I couldn't help but smile.
*Past
*Present

Dear FutureMe,

heya.. how's life working out for you? (awesome!) have you found job you like?(yes, and I've enjoyed it!) have you found someone to love?(in process) good for you if you have.. if not, you've been waiting a few years, so whats another year right? but you've got to try.. how would you know if he loves you too when you don't even try? messed up once, don't do it again.. (I promise, I'll try my best not to)

anyway, i wonder what you look like? (very different, actually) do me a favour will you.. look into a mirror and think back about the past year? was it all you wished for? (no but its spectacular) did you stumble upon love (that's a rock I've not encountered yet) and live your life the way you always wanted??(Glad to say I'm doing it right now) ..

and if you haven't dyed you hair yet, go do it now!..  (dyed it red and back to black again)

finally, right now (11.14pm:13.oct.2009), ma is sleeping, and Christian is working.. Dillon is barely 3 weeks old (11.13pm: 13.oct.2010; ma is sleeping, Christian is working and Dillon is now 1 year and 3 weeks old!) and I'm (or you are) tired as hell and scared cz the big exams are only 26 days away(hope we did well)(We did wonderful!).. phew!!.. that was a long one.. haha..

love,
your younger self.. you'll be hearing from yourself again.. :)
(can't wait) :)

Hyper!

I wish I had an iPad with me at all times. That way, I can blog just about everything I want to. At my current situation, I'm only posting half of what I want to because my brain is just too fast. I can't remember exactly what I want to post and even if I do, it wont be with as much vigour as it should. I really need to find a solution for this. I keep losing a lot of great ideas and phrases :(

Anyway, I was supposed to bake a batman cake for Jaydon's 5th Birthday Party but the cake sank in the middle for reasons beyod my understanding. I put it back in the oven to try and bake the center, which was not cooked, but it didn't work. So then, I thought of buying a plain, undecorated butter cake and ice it myself but the only bakery that would have that cake was closed for the day. In the end, I had to buy a ready-made American Chocolate cake for the little boy. I feel like such a failure. Lucky for me, Jaydon didn't know that he was supposed to get a batman cake. I'm currently guilt-ridden and my ego just got a good bashing!
I hope my others cakes come out well. I don't think my self-esteem can't afford another failure.

Anyway, I re-worked the failed cake. I cut off the sides (which were perfectly baked) and made mini cakes. I used the icing (intended for the Batman Cake) and made personalised decorations. I wrote people's initials on the cake with yellow icing (the background was black). It turned out quite nice, just not what I was expecting (no batman at all!) Predictably, Dinesh whacked, not only his, but Kathiga's cake as well! Visha's got smashed accidentally, so I owe her another one :P

AAHH!! I have so many thoughts passing through my mind right now. I can't even pin-point one idea to write out! (The detriments of having such a hyper-active brain!)

'Wow!' Moments~~

I  had so much fun with June today! I met up with her in after she finished her shift. We went to Starbucks and chatted for a while. We caught up and exchanged stories, even planned a few trips:)  She had the Creme Brule Caramel thingy and I ordered a Chocolate Cream Chip. Tastes Awesome!

After that, we just walked around a lot. When we were on the escalator, going up, there were two guys behind us who asked us where A Cut Above was. We tried to explain it to them but they looked so blur that we decided to take them there ourselves. We guided them to the one in the Blue Atrium but it turns out, their friend was in the one near the bowling alley. We walked with them till Hagaan Dazs, then one of the guy asked for June's number! June was all hot and cold after that!

We then walked around some more, and found three guys playing songs near Cupcake Chic. A guitarist, drummer and a saxophone player. We sat on the bench next to them to watch them play. The saxophone player was really entertaining. He kept turning to us and smiling. I really like the guitarist. He was so into the music! After listening to 2 songs, we asked if we could request a song. June wanted Crazy by Aerosmith and I wanted Last Kiss by Pearl Jam but they were both too rock for the band who were more Jazz. So then, we asked for Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight. They were awesome!

The saxophone player reminded us of Sonny Boy! So then, we went to Friday's to hang out for a while. We hijacked a reserved table and just talked to everyone as they passed by. We also ate our favourite Kid's Nachos! After a while, Aqil invited me to the Paramore concert with him and June. Wah! I'm so excited. :)

After everything, I dropped June off at the train station and headed home. Honestly, it was good to hang out with her. I really missed her company :)

Now, I'm off to sleep!
NiteNite:P

The Mystery of Self Respect and Science

Today, I'll start off with the assembly in school. The prefects were checking every body's socks because someone was wearing yellow socks and they were trying to find out who it was. While checking, one prefect told off an upper six girl who had dyed her hair. That girl, in turn, got defensive and argued back. The prefect didn't say anything much after that with the exception of a warning. Once the prefect left, the girl started to vent her feelings to her friends in a very loud and sarcastic way. She kept hurling insults at the prefect all through the Negaraku, Selangor Anthem and School Song. It was totally annoying. I was so tempted to tell them to quite down, but I didn't since I knew what would happen if I did. After the song, they continued to utter abuse, now directed at the entire prefects board and the school itself, during the morning prayers. Talk about lack of respect. It doesn't matter to me whether you're right or wrong, as long as you have some respect, if not for the school or state, at least for you're country. We should be thankful that we live in a country where we can go to bed without worry. We have running water, electricity, clean air and most importantly, peace. So, no matter how upset, mad, hurt or angry you are, you put it aside and proudly sing the National Anthem. After that, feel free to continue your string of condemnation. The same should be for the prayers. Just because you're not Muslim nor a Christian, you don't have the right to disrespect their prayers. How would you feel if I talked loudly and insulted people openly while you were praying? Where's you self respect? In my book it's completely tarnished  thanks to you immaturity. Some decency would be much appreciated.

Anyway, after school we (Visha and I) had R&D with Pn.Soleha. Dinesh joined us a little later on when the topic was traditions. We talked about Sarees and traditions of each culture but somehow we managed to steer the conversation to boys and girls. Visha said that girls have two extra ribs (I thought so too but didn't I read somewhere that the myth was busted?). Then Pn.Soleha mentioned the story of Adam and Eve. Eve was made from a rib bone that God took from Adam. I said; "I wonder if there was any anesthetics involved at that time?" and Dinesh, the smart-alec, said; "So that means God invented cloning! That's where science started!." (o.O)

He went on and said, God told Adam and Eve not to eat the Apple from the tree because it was sprayed with insecticide and that Adam and Eve got kicked out of Eden because they were contaminated with insecticide!

Hence, God invented science and the proof is -he made Eve from Adam's rib bone. The earliest documented case of cloning.

!!Oh what geniuses we have nowadays!!

Barbecue on the Twelfth Night

Twelfth night was awesome! It was very well done. Kudos to the cast, they were amazing. Of course, the same goes to William Shakespeare for writing it. 'Olivia' was amusing, with her crazy-rich-kid like character. Toby and his friends were a fun bunch. The jester/priest/guitarist was kind of everywhere, one of those people who just pops in and glues everything together. Malvolio was awesome too, with his yellow stockings. Antonio(Dinesh!) was fun to watch, and he got the best line; 'How have you made division of yourself?'. All in all, a good play, in my opinion.

After that, I went to the LEYP barbecue in church. They started cooking a little too late but the food was good. The chicken tasted like satay (which is awesome 'cause I love satay). I think we did well. There were somethings we could have done differently but still, I think everyone had fun. Charades was great (my group won!), and the other game, the one I organised, was fun too(I'm not being biased). Everyone involved deserves a pat in the back for the good job. :)

Love, Sanity & Faith (or Lack of It)

So, on Saturday, we re-arranged the furniture in the hall. The junk is all out and things were moved here and there. The hall now looks much bigger and much less cluttered. I like it! We were thinking of re-painting the hall. I suggested different colours for each wall but that suggestion seems to have led to a discussion on my sanity:) Today, I waged war on my room! I was fighting from the crack of dawn (10am to be exact) till way after lunch time. This first battle ended with almost 75% of my room re-organised and cleaned. All that's left is the junk under my bed which I feel requires a whole day to itself. This battle may be won the war is still on. I have two weeks (13 days to be exact) to raise my flag in victory.

The rest of the day I spent catching up with Nadiah. We haven't seen each other in a while but when we met it was like we were never apart (I sound so romantic... haha!). Anyway, we had fun telling each other tales about our new school (UiTM Penang for Nad & LaSalle PJ for me) and our favourite subjects (Cooking for her & BM for me). She's really enjoying herself and I'm glad. I really missed having her around and I know that all too soon I'm going to have to say goodbye again but I'm not going to think about it just yet:)

Moving on, I'm pretty sure that my sense of timing and bad memory when paired together will hurt me one day. I accepted Nad's offer to break fast with her tomorrow but I forgot that the Tuesday that I planned to go out for dinner with my family is actually this Tuesday (tomorrow) which means I'm going to have to cancel with Nad. I feel terrible because this is the second time I've had to cancel with her and both times were my own fault. Of course, she understands but I just feel bad for doing it. I'll make it up to her:)

A few of things I just felt like posting:
*Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc After this, therefore because of this
*Hebrews 11:1 Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
*I said to ma today, "I lost my sanity when I cut my hair" and she replied, "You need to have something to be able to lose it". My dear mother:)

Continuation of My Rambling on The M'sian Censorchip Board

There is another word and comment I'd like to add.

The word 'bust' from the song Bust A Move in Glee. Being a Gleek, I'd like to state that the censoring of this word really ruins the flow of the whole song. How can you completely enjoy Mr.Schuester's version of Young MC's Bust A Move complete with a dance number when the word 'bust' is completely left out? But then again, the word 'sex' was not cut from the song. Hmm, the logic seems to be missing here.

I'll keep updating everytime I hear another unworthy word censored. It's just so aggravating.

The Weird Girl and Magic Onion

So far, the new school has been good to me. They have very high standards but I think I'll be able to keep up if I work at it. I have two subjects to catch up on, BM and Economy, which I have never taken before. I'll work hard this year so that by next year, I'll be on the same level as everyone else. It's alot of work but I'm confident I can do it. I just need to keep reminding myself not to slack off (which is more of a habit than anything with me).

As for the people, they're not too bad either. Since everyone is new to me, it's been easier to fit in. They very friendly and although they're not on the same wavelength as me (I'm not holding myself to a higher standard, I just don't think the way most people do), but they're definitely closer to it than my other friends. Of course, I'm obviously under-exposed, being the Shah Alam raised girl that I am, so this might be a good experience. I'm having fun, for sure. Maybe giving more of myself to this school experience will make things even better so we'll see how it goes. As for now, I'm going to try as hard as I can to catch up and get into this Form 6 thing a little more whole-heartedly.

Moving on, I have the FLU! Argh! Not again. :( But do not fret, I say, for I have come across and ancient (not so ancient actually but it sounds nicer) form of remedy. It is said that to be rid of this wretched virus, all I have to do is place an onion in a bowl on my night stand while I sleep. When I wake up, I should be healed. Ergo, I will try out this ancient magic and let you know how I feel tomorrow. If it works, I shall be singing praises to God for his almighty wonders and if it does not go my way, I shall still sing to the glory of God for such a wondrously delicious fruit (I love onions by the way)
:)

I would love to give you an introduction to my classmates, but since I don't know them enough and I'm in no condition for another long post, I'll leave it here for now and get back to you tomorrow, if and hopefully when, the onion remedy works.

Awesome Day with Angel on Earth

Here are some of the pictures from last night:

Models for the day

June My Dear

Please say 'Yes'

Haha.. Syok Sendiri:)

After Dinner

Heavenly Dessert

Angel is Flying Away..

OK, the past two posts have been more on the serious, in-depth side. Let's move to a lighter area now. I want to talk about changing schools. I've decided to flit to LaSalle. Ma took my request to PPD and now we're just waiting for it to be processed. It takes two working days, or so they say. It's been almost a week now and they still haven't processed it yet so I'm still waiting. I already told people that I'm leaving so all that's left now is to actually go.

I really can't wait to go. It's going to be a whole new place. I'll spend time in CERiA after school and maybe hang out around that area. No more sitting at home alone all day.

However, with great opportunity comes heavy sacrifices. I had to quit my job. I really would have loved to stay but right now, I have to focus on my Form 6 and that includes English Literature classes which happen to be at the same time as my working hours. So, I had to leave. :(

Anyway, today was Angel's last day in Friday's. We had a girls night out. It was awesome. We ate in Friday's and then had a photo shoot that lasted more than an hour. After that, when dinner had finally been digested, we headed to Haagen Dazs for dessert. Angel treated us to the Chocolate Fondue. It was delicious! The chocolate was just heavenly. By the end of it, I was so full that I could barely walk.

The photo shoot was by far the best part. We went to a variety of places and spots. The best was of course the "Shadow Shoot" where we took pictures with the light behind us so that you could only see our silhouettes. Daisy was a great director:) Anyway, I left around 9.30pm because I have school tomorrow. The other's are still there, probably hanging out at the mamak store.

I'm going to miss Angel. She's been so awesome. I can't wait till she comes back here. Hopefully, she'll get the job she wants. Then we'll see her more. Yay! Bye Angel! Safe flight and till we meet again!

*Oh, I'll post the pictures once I get them:) They're awesome!

Divine Humour

God is a funny man. When I was feeling so upset and frustrated with almost everything, I found a way out. A new adventure to take my mind away from the darkness. Once I get there, I won't feel like this anymore and things will get better. Just as I confirm my leaving, he springs on me some beautiful moments. It's like he's testing me, trying to see if I really want to this new chapter for myself and not for some obscure reason like escape.

The very same day I took the first step of a new adventure, he showed me that I'm not a loser in everyone's eyes. Not everyone thinks I'm nothing. The next day, he shows me that I wont be forgotten, that I have friends who will actually miss me. After that, I just felt so happy to be where I was that I started wondering; 'maybe I'm not supposed to leave'. But no, I'm leaving anyway, because I know that if I stay I'll fall back down. These moments I was gifted with were not meant to make me stay. In fact, they were planted in my life just to give me some confidence and to help me understand that everything I want in life is possible. Also, I realised that I'm not someone who can stay in one place for too long. My biggest fear is being stuck in a routine my entire life. That's not me and I wont let that happen. I'm going to make sure my life is an adventure all the way. I want to explore and experience. I'm working on it and I'll make sure it happens.

MTV World Stage Asia 2010

Everything was awesome. We (June, Aishah, Fieka, Me) had lunch in Fullhouse. It was quite good. My favourite was the Mushroom Soup and the Ice Lemon Tea.

Lunch!

We're waiting for the food..

So full!

 After lunch we walked around the Fullhouse Store for a while before heading to the entrance of Sunway Lagoon. It wasn't as bad as we expected. We had to line up for about 40 minutes or so but it was fun. We met up with Daisy & her Korean friends and Ling & her friends. While the line was moving, we lost track of Daisy and her gang. Then Ling went missing and finally June managed to squeeze in between the bars and follow Daisy up ahead, which left me with one of Ling's friend. As soon as we got in, it started to rain. we got some cool MTV raincoats which kept us reasonably dry.

yay! we finally got in!

wet and waiting

soaked and barefooted

The surf beach in Sunway Lagoon was drained but our shoes got wet in the rain anyway :)
The spot we chose was quite good at first. We saw Bunkface quite clearly. I'm not a huge local music fan but they we're not bad. After Bunkface, we moved to the back to join Ling and gang. It was quite clear there and we enjoyed Wondergirls eventhough we didnt understand any of the Korean Songs.

Wonderfull!

aah!

*tongue out*

 After singing incoherently to the Wondergirls, Ling and I moved to the left side where there was less people and we had a really good view of the stage. It took a while for the next artist to come out due to some technical issues but once Tokio Hotel started, we were all jumping up and down going crazy. They were awesome! I would like to state, at this time, that Tokio Hotel is going on my list of the most awesome bands ever! We sang along to every song and we we're dancing like crazy. Around this time, we saw Aqil. He was taking pictures of everything. With him there, things got alot more crazier. I even got a chance to use his huge and really heavy camera. That thing was really something. He got some good shots of Katy Perry. There was one where she was looking right at him. Of course, the pictures I took were terrible. I did get an almost nice shot of the violently pink guitar during Katy Perry's performance.

Thinking of you Katy!

After the Katy Perry, which was supposed to be the last performance, Wondergirls gave us an encore. By this time, alot of people went home so we managed to squeeze into the front. We were so close the I could actually see their faces clearly on stage. I was pumped!

My first live concert experince was awesome. I'm definitely going again next year!

Thanks june for taking me!

I HAD A BLAST!

A Dog's Night of Fun

'Why are you late?'
'I'm not late, I was downst...'
'And why aren't you wearing your uniform?'
'It's a long story. Let's just say it's in no condition to be worn'
'You can't come to school like this. We can send you back, you know'
'But, my dog got to my unifrom. I had no choice'
'That's not the point. You can't do this. Don't you at least have a school t-shirt?'
'No (duh!)'

***

That's what went on as soon as I sat down in class (unfortunately, my table is right next to the teachers desk). Honestly, it's near impossible to talk to her. She never listens. She never wants to listen because she's always right. It can't be any other way. (What? You mean her being wrong? Yeah right!)

No, I don't have a school tracksuit or t-shirt. I don't need or want to spend RM50 on something I'll probably only wear once or twice. In fact, once I'm done with it, I'll probably never see it again.

Furthermore, what's wrong with what I was wearing? A black tracksuit and plain black shirt is what you told us to wear if we didn't have the school t-shirt. So that's what I wore. Yeah, today was not a sports day or anything like that, but I had no choice. It's not like I asked my dog to wreck the uniforms. (I hear her voice in my head again, saying, 'But you can't wear this!') Well, then what do you expect me to wear? The school uniform that smells like dog and accessorised with fur or the one that smells like dog and accessorised with dirt? Frankly, I wouldn't mind wearing either one of those uniforms if it weren't for the fact that I didn't want to be ignored even more than I already am.

One girl actually came up to me and asked me if I wore the tracksuit and t-shirt on purpose. Come on lah! Who do you think I am? The school rebel? The little rascal? An out of control misfit? You don't know me at all, so please don't judge me. You don't know me because you don't take the time to find out. You do, however, see fit to make conclusions about the kind of person I am based on some vague details you've managed to glean about me from your observations in school? Basically, that I'm an emo teen, ready to lash out at everyone just because I don't talk or smile much, I come to school looking glum almost everyday and I exude an i-don't-care-about-exams attitude. Well, that's not really me. So please, don't get you knickers in a bunch and run the opposite direction when you see me just because you think you know me. If you want to ignore me go ahead. I have no problem with that. I'm not a loner, but I have no problems with solitary confinement.

I know I sound mean, but there's only so much nonsense I can take. Almost all of them look at me like you would a hard core criminal who got released early on good behaviour. Fear & anxiety (that you might be next), awe (that anyone could be capable of such acts) and indifference (because no one cares about ex-convicts). HELLO! Human being here! We come with feeling, just in case you forgot.

Alright, before I continue on with my whining and ramblings, let me tell you what happened this morning. My lovely ex-dog, RaRa, decided to have some fun on his last night here. 'Twas raining, so we tied him nearer the inside area for shade but being the intelligent dog that he is, he bit through his leash and broke free. All hell broke loose, as you can imagine. There were clothes lying everywhere and shoes ripped to pieces. By the time we realised what had happened (it was really early in the morning, when everyone was still as sleep), RaRa had had all his fun and was lying down peacefully at his spot. My mum and I counted the damage and we found that the clothes needed another round in the washer, her work shoes were gone and my slipper was half eaten. Even my school shoe laces are falling apart. My head was spinning. On one hand, I was furious at him for behaving so terribly and on the other, I was panicking about my school uniform which got pulled around by the dog along with some other clothes.

My exam only started at 12 so ma suggested that i go to school late. Yes? No, not an option. So I went to school in the P.E outfit. Not a bad idea, but not a very helpful one either (as you've already discovered).

I'm just so mad at my teacher now. Where's you're flexibility? So, this is the best school in the area? I beg to differ. The canteen sells food that's barely edible, the koperasi, which has sales persons who can't subtract RM1.50 form RM5.00 without a calculator, sells virtually nothing, most teachers are so caught up in trying to get promotions that they're not teaching so much as drilling knowledge into us and most students have no manners at all. I can't wait for this period of my life to be over with. I'll be glad to put it behind me (At least that's how I feel now, but don't be surprised if I end up liking it later on. I don't see how that can happen, but anything is possible).

I was really hungry after reaching school but I didn't dare open the packet of oatmeal cookies I had in my bag. My teahcer might have just sent me to jail. I'm not afraid of the gaol, though. It's the paperwork that terrifies me :)

*Ma told me to look at things from another angle when I told her about what teacher said in school regarding the uniform situation. She said that as a teacher (and not just any teacher, a discipline teacher no less), what I did was indeed wrong. I should not have worn what I did to school because it was just wrong. I should have been more careful and planned my laundry schedule better. I see her point. Although, I still think she could have afforded some flexibility.

One more thing, during the Micro Economy exams, I had nothing better to do but this:

More to come tomorrow, if I'm in the mood. Macro Economy is up :)

Oh well, till we meet again!

Too Ambitious? NOT!

There are a few things I want to get of my chest.

First, I'm so glad I dropped Economy. The Macroeconomy teacher is really something. I honestly couldn't concentrate on my book while she was teaching. She punished almost everyone (with the exception of the new students) for not completing their notes. I don't understand this. She was the one who said that notes we're all up to us and she didn't care. Now she's punishing those who didn't write notes. What insanity is this? Also, she's so boring that no one understands her at all. Coming back to her voice, I gave up trying to read Harry Potter 10 minutes into her class. It was too much work. So I opted instead to finish up my Business Studies exercise. That worked well since I needed my full attention and the teacher's voice couldn't penetrate the concentration field I set up around my head :).Microeconomy on the other hand, isn't too bad. The teacher is really friendly and interesting. I managed to read Harry Potter in her class quite peacefully. But still, 4 periods back to back of Economy can drive anyone mad, even someone who's not taking the subject (me!)

Moving on, when I came home from school, I was finally in the mood for some baking. So I geared up for some major cookie-making moments. I took everything down, set up my apparatus and just as I wanted to start mixing stuff together, I found that the self-raising flour had expired, the brown sugar was disintegrated by ants and my favourite spatula went AWOL! What a discovery. Anyway, that didn't dampen my spirits. I ran to the store behind my house to get the self-raising flour. They didn't have brown sugar so I had to drive to the supermarket to get some. As for the spatula, I made do with the other one I had (not as great to use as the first but workable). So after treasure hunting, I was already an hour behind schedule. I started baking and just as I was about to put in the last batch of cookies into the oven, I remembered something important: I FORGOT THE SALT!! *sigh* After going through all that trouble to get the ingredients I needed to make some really great, chewy, chocolate chip cookies, I forgot the key ingredient. Now I'm left with salt-less cookies. They taste quite good even without the salt but my favourite part of it was the salt. I loved biting into that one grain of salt in the sea of sweetness. It was heaven, it was what made this cookie the best. Oh well, better luck next time.

Now, let's talk about dreams. On the off chance that you're a regular reader of this blog, you'll remember me mentioning something about a list of things I'd love to do before I kick the bucket. A bucket list, if you will. I know, I know, a bucket list is a for when people know they're dying and they want to experience things before they die and a list is the best way to organise their thoughts. But if you think about it, we're all dying anyway. In fact, I'm dying right now while I write this and you're dying as you read this. It's a fact of life, we're mere mortals and death is a part of life. So, about my bucket list, I want to start crossing things out as soon as possible (crossing them out after I've done them, not because I changed my mind or gave up on it, that's not an option). One thing I know I can cross out this year is to drive from North to South (or South to North) on the North-South Expressway. I'll do it on a holiday and I won't stop for sightseeing. It'll be a pure journey. I'll stop for petrol and food and stuff like that, but nothing else. It has to be during a school holiday, and non-peak periods. I'll work out the timing soon. One kink is, I'm located kind of in the middle of the NSE. So I'll have to travel to the south ('cause it's nearer) and then drive up north to complete the journey and cross out one thing on my list. Then, I'll have to drive back south till I reach home. So technically, I will have driven twice on the expressway :P

So, that's all for now. Enjoy!