MAIL TIME!

THE PAST HAS ARRIVED!

Hehehee.

I got another letter from my past self! :)

I love getting these letters. It's a nice benchmark for the year. It helps me look back on things that have happened over the past year and how much has changed.

I was particularly chatty a year ago. I wrote myself a 2 paged letter. A lot has definitely changed. I've gotten closer to my new friends. so close that they're not even new anymore. Uni is no longer new either. I'm so comfortable there and doing my own thing. I know how to be a university student. The thing that hasn't changed is my excitement over learning psychology, though. That's still pretty much the same and I'm glad that it is. 

Me from a year ago wanted me now to have a tattoo and though I don't have one yet, I will in 3 days! So that's something I can definitely check off my list. I haven't milked a cow, sewn a dress from scratch or gone bungee jumping but I have had English Tea at Ms.Marples in Melbourne! Better one thing than nothing at all.

I wrote myself another letter to my future self. One more year till I hear from me again.

I think it's a beautiful idea. I think everyone should do it. Also, now that I think of it, this moment, this thing of sending letters to myself, it goes really well the tattoo I'm going to get (I'm not alone, I have my imaginary friends). Apt, I'd say.

I wonder what me from the future will be like. Happy, I hope. And a little more confident. Fitter and perhaps eating healthier. A little more motivated too and less restless.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, I'm going to sleep. I know that me from tomorrow is going to be mad at me from today if I stay up any later :P

Ink and No Angel

Two things; Supernatural and Tattoos.

Thing 1: Supernatural.

Season 9 just started and we're 3 episodes in. I really like this season so far. It feels different.

Dean is more forthcoming with his feelings and there's so much going on with Sam. Cas is human now and struggling. I can't wait for more Crowley. And Kevn. KEVIN! He is amazing this season. New generation hunter and part of the family. He's beautiful.

I'm really happy there's still 20 episodes to look forward to.

All the subplots are, in my opinion, a lot more exciting this time. Sam has an angel inside him to help him heal but he doesn't know about it. Said angel doesn't want Cas around, which means Dean has to kick Cas out of the bunker. Kevin is the new Bobby, Crowley is half human, Abaddon wants to be Queen of Hell and is gathering her army, Bartholomew is the new Angel boss, Metatron is still in heaven, Gabriel is coming back. So demons and angels and reapers are looking for Cas and the Winchesters. SO MUCH IS HAPPENING!!

Thing 2: Ink.

I'm going to make an appointment this Saturday. I'm really excited about it! The quote I'm getting is:

i am not alone
i have my
imaginary friends

I want it on my arm that way and have a sort of armband going around. I have an idea for the armband pattern but I will ask the artist if he thinks its ok. He'll know better and probably even come up with a better design. But that's essentially what I want.

I can't wait. Tomorrow is Saturday!

I Don't Even Know What I'm Doing

Hello again.

The next few weeks are going to be really busy for me. I have 4 papers, all due within 2 weeks of each other. On top of that, I have to complete a group project for Malaysian Studies (ergh).

So, I do feel a little heavy.

Besides uni, I've decided to start exercising. Not major stuff, just mini exercises at home. So far, so good. Except that my thigh are amazingly sore right now. I am determined to get in shape, so this is the pain I have to bear.

Anyway, I was supposed to head on to the tattoo place today with my brother to make an appointment but that didn't work out because he (my brother) only had a couple hours of sleep or something. So we postponed. I am a little upset but I'm going with the 'everything happens for a reason' explanation. I now have more time to solidify my idea. I know the essence of what I want to get. I just don't know what I want it to look like. So this time has given me some space to think. I have it now. I know what I want this tattoo to look like. I'm open to other ideas that the artist might have but I know the general image and that's a relief.

For now, I'm going to have to sit down and gear up for writing. 4 papers is no joke. I have little bits and bobs for each paper, I just need to string them together. All these words and so little motivation. I feel kinda stuck in the mud and slow.

I need to find some sort of kick to get me up and running. Something to get the juices flowing. I don't know what I can do. I've rearranged my room, watched the latest Supernatural episode, baked a tart, blogged, sketched, napped and then stared at the assignment for a while.

Nothing seems to be working. I think all those things I did was really just me procrastinating.

Today, I hate the silence at home. It's solid and pressing. It's slow and demotivating. But I know that when people come back home and start talking, making noise, I'm going to be wishing for silence again. So I suppose it's not the silence. It must be the fact that I'm the only human being in this house right now. That's what bother me; is bothering me. What I want is human presence with silence. Silent company.

On a lighter note, I watched the World Mental Health Day stage production last night. It was pretty good. A friend directed and another friend acted. The PA system was a joke but everything else was pretty cool. So many talented people in this uni. And smart too. (C'mon universe, I get it already. You did good, you don't have to keep reminding me).

People are so intriguing.

Opening That Door.

What would you say or do if someone told you that they would like to know what goes on in your head? If they asked you to volunteer honest insights, not just on current events but on anything at all, would you do it?

Would it scare you to let the world into your head? Would it worry you what they might find or what you might have forgotten was in there all along?

I would be. Scared, that is. My head, my mind; it's my safe haven. The thought of letting people see it, even a glimpse, makes me shiver.

Yet that's what I might do. Might being the operative word.

A couple of friends told me that they'd like to know what goes on in my head. They want to know me better. They want me to share. And I do want to, but what they're asking is for me to talk about things I don't talk about to anyone but myself.

I think that's asking a lot. That's basically walking up to a politician and asking for the keys to the journals they wrote as a teenager. I don't know if I'm going to do it.

Part of me feels like it's about time I spoke my mind more and opened up to people. But another part of me, a seemingly bigger part, feels like I'm entitled to my privacy and should not give it up just because someone asked me to.

I really don't know what to do. I have not decided. Maybe I can share just a few things. Nothing grand, nothing big. Just tiny things in all honesty.

Dyou think that's reasonable?