You Are Mine

This week, CDM's 3rd newsletter of the year was finally published. This issue focuses on youth. Most of the articles in this issue was written by various youths from CDM. On page 1, the article is by me!! :)

I'm pretty excited about it. It's a great feeling to have your work published, even in something as simple as a newsletter. Everyone who has a copy would have read it. It's amazing, really. :)

Anyways, that's number one. Number 2 is this: Mass today was great. We went in late because our BEC conducted the breakfast sales today so we had to clean up. We managed to sneak in just as father started his sermon.

The gospel today was from John 6: 41-51. It's the "I am the Bread of Life" reading. Father said, during his homily, that we all suffer from some degree of spiritual dryness. He said that sometimes, we feel like nothing is right. Like the whole universe is going wrong and everything is going wrong in your life, your job, your relationships. And you reach a stage when you either just want to numb the pain or that you're so numb and all you want is to be able to feel something again and how some people do that by self-harming.

My eyes were immediately swimming. On Tumblr, I follow some blogs. And I know from what they post that they're good people. But they also go through so much and a surprising number of people suffer from depression and resort to self-harming, just so they can feel something again. I couldn't help but think of them today.

My heart aches for them, all those people in the world, especially the young ones who suffer so much at such a young age. The only way they know how to respond is by cutting themselves. At the same time, I'm amazed at how many of them actually don't want to do it. They just don't know any other way. They try so hard and they help each other out. When someone says that they managed to go for 2 weeks without cutting, then it's cause for celebration. And if they relapse, it's time to flood their inbox with encouragement.

Father said today that this state of being, this darkness we sometimes feel usually means that we also suffer from spiritual dryness. Today's readings are all about how God is our life. He feed us, he is our manna from heaven. "'I am the bread of life,' says the Lord, 'he who comes to me shall not hunger.'" I've never understood a Sunday message so clearly before.

Just listening to father speak really hit my heart in a way no sermon has before. I just want to give everyone a hug, tell them that the world isn't such a terrible place. That happiness and fulfilment is entirely possible, if only we remember that it is.

Today, I was wholly present in mass. And it felt great.

And that song at the end, 'You Are Mine'. I think everyone should have that on their playlist, on shuffle. Because I'm sure that if you do, then God (or the universe or Gods or Goddesses or whatever works for you) will make sure that it plays just when you need it to. If only we remember that in everything we do, God is with us, then we'll always know for sure that there is no such thing as infinite sadness. We will know that joy comes, it always does.

Today, I knew for sure that I'm on the right path in my life. I know what I'm supposed to do.