Bambi-esque

Oh Em Gee!!!

Today's the first day of orientation. We got a tour of the campus, heard a speech from the Dean of Psychology, had the entire staff introduced to us via power point by the Head of the Department and then took an English Proficiency Exercise.

I started out as I expected to. Meaning, I was quiet and reserved. I stayed out of big groups and I just listened to everything. I spoke to a few people and I kept trying to calm the butterflies in my tummy. Pretty standard stuff. But then I realised that the file they gave me was not supposed to be empty. Or actually, that it was supposed to be filled with papers and stuff.

That's when I started to panic. I managed to get what I need from the office but I was already too far gone by then. During the Dean's speech, he ended with a few example cases. Like, there's a 6 year old male who is being disruptive in class and does not pay attention. You have to come up with a diagnosis. Does he have a learning disability, if so, which one. And you have to come up with learning programme that suits his needs.

BAM!

That's the first taste I got. Definitely interesting. And totally new. I had no idea what my answer would possibly be. The Dean said that the point is, Uni is preparation so that by the end of 3 years, we should be able to answer these questions.

And then we went on to the English Proficiency Exercise. I thought, yea, I can do this. I mean, I'm not being cocky or anything, but I can read, write and converse in English pretty well. So, there's a high possibility that I'll do well in this and not have to take English for Psychology 101. We had to answer one of three questions. It was a short essay question. Our answers were to be between 200-250 words. Piece of cake; or so I thought. I saw the questions and my heart dropped.  (Cue second BAM!)

Q1 was the easiest question on the screen. Why did you choose psychology and what do you see yourself doing after you graduate. Questions 2 and 3 had me stumped. They were more psychologically based. I can't remember the exact questions but they were something along the lines of this: What psychological problems do you think this country faces and what do you think is the best way to overcome it. Something like that.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I chose to answer question 1. Why? Because I didn't feel intellectually capable of answering either one of the other 2 questions. I have no idea what I think are the psychological problems this generation faces nor do I have any clues or ideas as to how the problem could be tackled.

I felt dumb, to be honest. I felt totally, and completely incapable of answering those questions. I don't know enough. Heck, I don't know anything! I don't read non-fiction books. I don't read psych books. I read fiction. Ask me about how to stop a genius, evil pixie from taking over the world or what a thestral is; those questions I can answer. So, ever since I saw those questions up on the screen, the butterflies in my stomach refuse to calm down. I managed to submit an answer to question one which I hope is good enough to exempt me from the EP101 class.

However, I still feel too dumb. I don't know why on earth I thought I could do psychology. I mean, sure, I did pretty well in STPM but I did Pengajian Am, BM, Econs and English Lit. Non of those subjects have anything to do with Psychology. So, what on earth was I thinking? What did I get myself into?

Here's what popped into my head: That West Wing episode when Josh got shot and had a flashback to when Bartlet just won the elections. Donna was interviewed by someone from a magazine and the writer commented that Donna had a Bambi-esque quality about her. She was told my a White House staffer that there's a nuclear warhead in the Rose Garden, which Donna then told the interviewer who promptly included that piece of information in the magazine. When Donna realised that it was a prank, she said; "I'm too stupid to live!"

Oh man. I hope I can get over this. I really, really hope I can get over this. I want so badly to learn more. My brain is just waiting to be supplied with information. I'm just itching to learn and discover things. HELP encourages their students to not just accept whatever is given to them in the classrooms but to be inquisitive and explore things for themselves as well. I can't wait for that. I just hope I work hard enough to process all this awesomeness. Basically, I hope I don't crash and burn.

Anyway, it's all so exciting. I need to get a laptop soon though, I think. It seems I'm going to be using the computer a lot. So much money. Hmm..

I'd like to end this post with a music recommendation. The band is called "Of Monsters and Men". I know the band name sounds like they sing heavy metal or something but they don't. They make very good music. So, go! Listen to them on Youtube. Try listening to the song "From Finner" first. Bonus: They're Irish! :)