There's this thing I do to myself. I get myself all worked up and happy and excited about something, something small. Something that's not even in the realm of possibility. And even though I know it's most probably never going to happen, I still get myself hyped about it because I feel alive and great.
But then, once I start getting myself hyped, I'll end up ruining it all and one day, it'll come crashing down. That particular hope and dream will just vanish into thin air in a puff of smoke due to me being overly self-conscious and thus, counter productive.
This always happens. Always.
And I have no idea how to stop it.
And it's happening now and I don't know.
And sometimes, it feels like I'm making a lot of hay over nothing at all. This is one of those times. Hmm.
I don't know what to do.
At this stage, it's like I have no control over my feelings. I just have to roll with it and hope I don't mess anything up.
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