I feel panicky. I'm very nervous and I feel like I'm losing control. Things are happening in my life that I have very little control over and I don't like it. I'm a control freak (Yes, I admit it). I like to know that I have a plan that works and if it doesn't I have back ups. The problem is, I can't plan out my path for now. It's got to be a 'one step at a time' thing which I hate! I don't like having no control.
Form six is starting and there are so many things I'm worried about most important of which is the subjects I'm taking for STPM. I want to take English Lit and probably Economics, Business, or BM. I just don't know if the school will let me take these subjects. They have packages and streams which they expect their students to follow. I'm quite sure there is no stream that will allow me to take the subject combination that I want and that's stressing me out.
Also, eventhough I'm still going to work part time, I'm going to miss everyone so much! And I'm worried about the decision I have to make if work gets in the way of school. I'll hate to leave them.
I feel like I'm standing in the middle of nowhere watching everything around me being whipped upside down by dozens of tornados while I'm safe and there's nothing I can do about it. It's maddening not to have control! ARGH!!!
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