Wolves, Princesses and cute Boys!

Sunday:

So, I've obviously been AWOL these past few days. I've actually just been very lazy. I log in to Blogger and end up logging out again because the thought of typing out the words in my head seemed pretty dull work at the time. It still kind of is - mainly because I don't really have anything to rant about. Or, I do, but it's all little stuff that's scrunched up together which requires a certain amount of energy to untangle. 

And yet, here I am, typing. I do this, oddly enough, not when I'm physically fit but when my left arm is screaming out for repose.

Ok. Change of plans. I have to sleep now, so my brother keeps telling me. Continued later.

***

Tuesday:

Hello. I must be some weirdo. I'm supposed to be working, and I thought that since the WIFI connection is down, I might actually move a little faster. Boy, could I be any more wrong. I got the broadband out. :)

Ok, so here's the scoop. My left arm was protesting on Sunday because on Saturday, I carried Dillon around a lot. He's 2 and he's a lot smaller than me but man is he heavy! Or maybe I'm just not fit? A little of both I think.

On Saturday, we were all supposed to go to Port Klang to see the Lugos ship. The Dulos' sister or something. But, big brother had a futsal tournament and we ended up going for that instead. Dillon was so excited. I can see the resemblance between my two brothers very clearly now. If I let Dillon down, he'd run right into the court! He wanted to join then but they're big buffaloes playing a friendly match. They take their futsal very seriously.

So, I had to hold on to Dillon the entire time. And every few seconds, he'd go, "Where's kohkoh?" (which means brother in Chinese, although the spelling might be wrong.) Once, big brother got out of the game because he was really tired, and he couldn't breathe properly. Dillon's attention was totally off the game. He only had eyes for his brother who he knew wasn't ok. So then, I had to carry Dillon to our brother.

So, so cute!

We ended up not going to the ship because by the time the match was over, Dillon was beat. So, they headed back and we did too.

Which then takes me backwards to Thursday. THE BIG BAD WOLF BOOK SALE!

The best book sale ever! Since I won the preview pass (picture above), mum and I got to go a day earlier. Us and another few hundred or so people. But that didn't matter at all because the hall was ENORMOUS and it felt like no one was there.

Anyway, mum and I bought many a book. I completed my Princess Diaries set, found Artemis Fowl: The Atlantic Complex and a few other good looking books. Mama bought quite a few romance novels and we we grabbed tons of recipe books! We even bought a Jamie Oliver Christmas Special Food Magazine. Sweet:)

We spent almost 2 hours in there and we could have spent more time but we didn't want to hurt out wallets too much. So, hard as it was, we dragged ourselves to the cashier and paid for our loot. Only RM200+ for about 30 books. Magical! We kinda took the extremely long way home but it was worth it.

I went to the sale again yesterday! This time, I took Nadiah, Claudine and Maria with me. We went in the evening so there wasn't much of a crowd. We didn't even have to line up to go in. We did get lost on the way though. I took the wrong turning so we ended up on the wrong side of the road from the MARDI entrance. I took one big round and started again. We made it there after 2 hours. *Phew*

The sale was still worth it though. They added more books. I was looking for the fourth Princess Diaries book (apparently I missed that ): ) But I couldn't find it. Nor did I find the Ultimate Cake book mama wanted or her novel. I did find some awesome Princess Diaries extras though. The are 10 books in the series and a few smaller books in between. Found two so far, and I'm going to start looking for the rest! Also, I found a great present for MeshPot:)

Oh, another big news, KINDLE has ARRIVED! I have my own Kindle now! IT'S ALL MINE! muahahahaha! :)

Can't wait to get started! All these books to read, and only 2 months till the end of my school life, it's stoked! :)

Okok, I have to get back to work now. Earn me some $$ :)

Thin Ice

Plans scuppered, promises 'postponed', disappointment. It's the feeling that I hate. Disdain for the situation rather than the person/s who caused it. I do not hold anything against you for pulling out. I really don't. I do, however, blame myself for thinking you'd ever make an effort for me. I have been here for you, all the while waiting, riding the course of my moments around you. I love you and I would sacrifice a lot for you in the blink of an eye. You know that. I know you know that. But to think that you would do the same for me, that was foolishness on my part.

I have given, and given and I keep giving. All this while, I walked around you like I was on thin ice, thinking that I was the one in need of redemption and forgivness from you. I know better now. I've done my time. I have done what I needed and I've achieved salvation. You don't see that do you? You're still stuck on your pedestal, thinking that you're safe. Here's some news for you, while you were busy collecting your dues, I moved up. Look below you feet and see where you stand. Ice, baby. The thin kind.

This is not me being vindictive. This is me wrenching your eyes open. You need to realise that, this time, you were the hurtful one. This time, you need to work it out. I'm hurt and you did it. It's not about any particular incident. It's about you needing to know that you're not perfect. Also, stubborness gets you nowhere with me. I'm tired of giving in. Don't you think it's time you put in some effort from your side? I do.

Anyways, I love you. you know that, but just in case you didnt; I LOVE YOU! Just SEE me for once, kay? That's all I ask.

Missed some things...

I just finished going through my blog and I realise that I've left out some really important updates. So here I am, attempting to fill you in on everything I've missed.



NAD IS IN PENANG!!! Not Perak, but Penang. She got the offer to study culinary arts in UiTM Penang. She was ecstatic and of course a little upset about going so far, but studying what she has always wanted was just too good an opportunity to give up. So that's, where she is now. I've miss her a lot, especially during those times in class when I have no one to talk to and nothing to say (which is almost every second of everyday, except for recess). I don't call her everyday because it'll be bad for my wallet and I have to learn to let go. I can't stick with her every step of the way. She's got a life to pursue and so do I. I wish her all the best, but I still hope I'll wake up one day and Nad will only be 1 kilometre away like she used to be.



We (as in all Lower 6 students) have each been assigned to a teacher (4 students to a teacher) for our R&D project. It's an individual project so I'm happy. Things like this, I'd rather work alone with some indirect help. Group work won't be effective, especially not when we're all so new to each other. Anyway, I've chosen HIV/AIDS as my main subject and 'The Stigma Surrounding HIV/AIDS' as my title. I'm planning to do a paper regarding the level of awareness of high school students about this particular disease. I think it's an interesting topic and a very educational one at that. What's more, I'll have world famous Prof. Dr. Adeeba Kamarulzaman to refer to if I have any questions. All her journals and research papers will come in handy if my supervising teacher accepts my topic. Also, since ma works in a HIV/AIDS research centre, I'll have statistics and other such data at my fingertips. Don't think this is easy though. I may have all these bridges to help me cross the river, but I'll still have to walk it myself. I'm looking forward to starting my project.



Next is my lack of enthusiasm in school. If you walk by my class at anytime during school hours, you can find me either sleeping, day-dreaming, looking sour, not paying attention, reading novels or ignoring instructions and reading books. I have no 'semangat' for school at all. I think things would be different if I was still in the History class but I'm not. I chose to move to accounts and here I am, suffering the consequences. I feel so mentally exhausted. I just want a nice long vacation, far away form this place, to rejuvenate my mind. This day to day routine is boring me. I can't take it much more of it. I need more, more than just going to school, sitting quietly in class and coming home to homework, school work and work. I need more than a regular routine. I don't do regular, I can't. It's too much to handle, or too little to do (depends how you want to look at it). But what more can I do? How much different can I do things at this time of my life. I have school, I can't run away from that. The house need to be taken care off, it's a shared responsibility and work is work. I don't want to leave work. I would cry, but what difference would that make?

I'm going to skip school tomorrow so I hope I'll be able to get myself into the learning-drive by sitting at home and studying. I need a kick-start on my engines and tomorrow, I might just be lucky.

Rain and Sunshine

Nadiah is in Gopeng, Perak now. She's going for matriculation. She really wants to try it out and I'm glad she went. Deep down, of course I don't want her to leave me to wrangle STPM without her but I'm not going to stop her from trying things. We're two completely different persons who want completely different things and have completely different dreams. So, we can't go everywhere together. I'll survive. I still have Raz & Kimi with me (Pare!).


Today, school was a little bit of rain, and a little bit of sunshine. "Rain" was, of course, the absence of Nadiah. Razmil and Kimi sat next to me today so I wouldn't feel too lonely. Raz on my right and Kimi on my left. Pn.NorBahya asked if there was anything going on between us (this is when I should tell you that 'gossip' is a major hobby in that school). Anyway, "rain" was also because I've decided to change to the accounting class. I won't be leaving Raz and Kimi too long because the class is right next door and I'll be in Sejarah whenever the accounts class is having Economics. That's exactly 8 periods in a week. They're my 'gang' in school and I need them to keep me sane.


Moving on, "sunshine" were the moments in school when teacher was too busy to teach. A bunch of us just talked the day away. We're all still quite new to each other so we spent those "teacher-less" times getting to know each other (quite loudly too :P). I had so much fun. We talked about ambitions , weight (how to gain and lose weight), drama queens, food (of course!) and relationships. That conversation would have turned out much differently if we were all in Form 2 or 3. However, since we're all 18 now, we've develop a slightly more mature thinking style. I'm not saying we're completely adults, but nor am I saying we're children. I realised that we are all more capable of understanding each other and accepting our differences politely as opposed to arguing and trying to pull everyone on your side. We 'know' and accept that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I think we help each other grow up some how.