Colours in Black and White

Second day of exams. Just as boring as I had expected, even more actually. I slept as soon as I entered class. After that, I heard some people having fun at the back of the class so I decided to join them. They were playing the number game. Pretty childish but immensely fun. Here's how the game goes:

Every has to use only one hand to show any number (holding up one finger or three, whatever they like). Before that, each person will have to choose a number, any number but not exceeding the possible amount (If there are three people playing, the maximum is 15, assuming everyone has 5 fingers on each hand). Then we start. On the count of three, everyone has to show a number. Add it up and if the amount matches someones number choice, they're out. Then the game is repeated with everyone choosing a different set of numbers because the maximum has just been decreased. The last one left gets a punishment. So essentially, you need to escape as soon as possible.

It sounds so complicated when I read it but its actually quite easy to understand. We played a few round of this (I didn't lose, thankfully!) before moving on to some other childhood game. We had lots of fun and made lots of noise. We played till the last minute before the exams was about to start.

This doesn't sounds as boring as I mentioned earlier but to be honest, this was the highlight of the day. Once MUET 3 started, the day went sour again. I finished my paper in less than 45 minutes which left me with about 45 more minutes of absolutely nothing to do. I would have slept but I couldn't. So instead, I redecorated my question paper. Luckily, I took out my colour pencils before starting so I had something to do. I added lots of colour and life to my otherwise boring sheet of black and white question paper. Everyone probably thought I was mad.

After the exams, we had something to eat and then started with the next paper, MUET 4, which is a writing paper. I was excited (obviously because I love writing!). I managed to write exactly 200 words (which is the limit) for question 1 in about 20 minutes. An incredible feat if you ask me. When I started on question 2, it seemed like everyone was still engrossed in the first. Admittedly, that boosted my ego and inflated my head a little. The next essay wasn't too bad but I think it was a little unorganised on my part. I was on the verge of rambling and try as I may to conceal that, it probably shone through strongly. To be frank, I'm more of the fictional or narrative writer. Factually essays don't stimulate my mind as much. Unless, of course, I did some thorough research which would have aroused my interest in writing about it. All I can do now is pray that my writing style impresses my examiner enough to block out my completely unorganised arrangement. I guess I'll just have to wait to find out.

That's all for now.
Maybe I'll sleep on the carpet tonight...

Missed some things...

I just finished going through my blog and I realise that I've left out some really important updates. So here I am, attempting to fill you in on everything I've missed.



NAD IS IN PENANG!!! Not Perak, but Penang. She got the offer to study culinary arts in UiTM Penang. She was ecstatic and of course a little upset about going so far, but studying what she has always wanted was just too good an opportunity to give up. So that's, where she is now. I've miss her a lot, especially during those times in class when I have no one to talk to and nothing to say (which is almost every second of everyday, except for recess). I don't call her everyday because it'll be bad for my wallet and I have to learn to let go. I can't stick with her every step of the way. She's got a life to pursue and so do I. I wish her all the best, but I still hope I'll wake up one day and Nad will only be 1 kilometre away like she used to be.



We (as in all Lower 6 students) have each been assigned to a teacher (4 students to a teacher) for our R&D project. It's an individual project so I'm happy. Things like this, I'd rather work alone with some indirect help. Group work won't be effective, especially not when we're all so new to each other. Anyway, I've chosen HIV/AIDS as my main subject and 'The Stigma Surrounding HIV/AIDS' as my title. I'm planning to do a paper regarding the level of awareness of high school students about this particular disease. I think it's an interesting topic and a very educational one at that. What's more, I'll have world famous Prof. Dr. Adeeba Kamarulzaman to refer to if I have any questions. All her journals and research papers will come in handy if my supervising teacher accepts my topic. Also, since ma works in a HIV/AIDS research centre, I'll have statistics and other such data at my fingertips. Don't think this is easy though. I may have all these bridges to help me cross the river, but I'll still have to walk it myself. I'm looking forward to starting my project.



Next is my lack of enthusiasm in school. If you walk by my class at anytime during school hours, you can find me either sleeping, day-dreaming, looking sour, not paying attention, reading novels or ignoring instructions and reading books. I have no 'semangat' for school at all. I think things would be different if I was still in the History class but I'm not. I chose to move to accounts and here I am, suffering the consequences. I feel so mentally exhausted. I just want a nice long vacation, far away form this place, to rejuvenate my mind. This day to day routine is boring me. I can't take it much more of it. I need more, more than just going to school, sitting quietly in class and coming home to homework, school work and work. I need more than a regular routine. I don't do regular, I can't. It's too much to handle, or too little to do (depends how you want to look at it). But what more can I do? How much different can I do things at this time of my life. I have school, I can't run away from that. The house need to be taken care off, it's a shared responsibility and work is work. I don't want to leave work. I would cry, but what difference would that make?

I'm going to skip school tomorrow so I hope I'll be able to get myself into the learning-drive by sitting at home and studying. I need a kick-start on my engines and tomorrow, I might just be lucky.

Puffy Day

Yay! I bought myself a new notebook. Popular didn't have my favourtie Premier brand notebook so I bought a different one. There's a picture of a parrot on it.



During break, I ate some mini cream puff from Jusco. F.Y.I: I'm a huge cream puff fan! I have to say, they weren't all that good. The best cream puff I've eaten (and I'll eaten alot of cream puffs) is from the Hartamas Shopping Centre Bakery. The cream is just great and the puff is wonderful. Put it together and you'll get the best cream puffs ever. Nothing has topped that so far.

Roll out was going on today. Everyone was on their best behaviour. Everyone was on edge too because the big bosses were there. :D

Work was slow today too. The only thing that's keeping my stomach churn is the oncoming SPM results. I'm so nervous! It's exactly how I felt when taking my UPSR and PMR results. I do hope I make myself and everyone I love proud. Once I get my results, I have to move on. I have to start thinking about my future. I have to make plans and execute them well. Life awaits. :P

All In A Day's Work...

This is the post from today, all rewritten from my handy notebook. ENJOY! :)

***

Here I am, about an hour early for work. I am not going to sign in early because I know boss won't let me (they have to keep labour costs under control). So, I'm just sitting here on a bench, waiting for time to pass so I can start work. Then Again, there's not much to do when on the morning shift. All the duties can be done within 15-20 minutes. The next 40 minutes waiting for the shop to open I just spend looking around and once in a while turning away guests because the restaurant hasn't officially opened yet (what kind of people will want to eat breakfast at Friday's??) Anyway, I can't even go to Jusco to satiate my hunger because it's not opened yet. Even the washrooms aren't fully operational this early. Why am I here this early?? My mother needed to go to work earlier and so I had to go to work earlier. I'm not complaining, I just wish I had that extra hour of sleep, or at least to have somewhere to sleep while I'm here.

Trailing from that, I've always thought that it'll be a great idea to have some place people can go to just sit and relax. Like a restaurant, only it's not compulsory for you to become a patron to enjoy the seat. Just a place to sit, eat your own food, hangout with friends or even just read a book or lie down without having to feel guilty about using the space but not buying stuff from them. Get what I mean? A kind of hangout area or an indoor park. A second home. Sounds good to me :)

By the way, time is doing one of its mysterious moves again. Its crawling by so slowly!! After what, according to me, should have been 1 hour, only 20 minutes has passed. Step it up time!!...... Another hour (20 minutes)..........

I'm at work now (really). I've done all my morning duties and now the restaurant is officially opened for business. Here comes the hunger. I can't wait for my break. I want to try the roti canai at Jasmine Cafe. But then again, maybe I should stop thinking about food for now because my tummy is really rumbling. That's going to prove difficult though. The smell of the food is really hindering my feeble attempts to calm my gastric juices. THINK FOOD-LESS THOUGHTS! .... It worked, for now. However, I'm bored again. There's not much to do here (and here come the smell of food again!). Just standing around, looking at the same scenery day after day. The most I can do during these peak hours of boredom is to come up with a list of things to buy when I get my salary. In short, a Blow-Off-All-My-Cash List. It's not like I'm a shop-a-holic. I just like to plan what to buy. Most of the time I don't get everything on the list, only one or two essentials. It's the planning that helps. The problem is I don't want anything now so I can't make a list. I'll have to come up with something else.

(A few hours has passed, by the way) Angel didn't come to work. It's not too bad though because I don't really talk to her anyway and I have Amy to keep my company. She talks a lot (in a good way) and I listen. I try to talk too but I don't really know what to say so I just end up laughing. Basically, I love listening to people talk. I'm a listener, an analyser, an observer. I'm not a great conversationalist. I might have to work on that.

Ramesh just took my notebook!! He read it! It's not to be read by anyone but me until it's posted on my blog. "You're such a busy body Ramesh!". (BTW: if you're reading this Mesh, ENJOY THE PARTY & REMEMBER YOUR BET WITH NIL. DON'T VOMIT FIRST! LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES)

During break, I didn't go to Jasmine. I didn't want to go alone. So, I had lunch at the Jusco food court (Nasi Lemak with Rendang Ayam). Then, I had a McDonald's Chocolate Sundae with extra fudge. In conclusion, I'm STUFFED!

I'm so stuffed that I actually considered not eating dinner. But when dinner time came, I was hungry again. My stomach is like a bottomless pit. Anyway, I've finally reached season 4 of Voyager. It's getting fun. Seven of Nine is in the picture now. I just love her composure. :) She's so intelligent and so clueless at the same time.

I'm going to sign off here. It's along post already (fitting, since it's been a long day). CHAO!

This Is Not How I Pictured It

It has been a terrible day. I thought that finishing SPM meant that I would enjoy life and freedom a bit more than usual. Turns out, I was a little wrong. Everything seems to be going haywire now. Things getting lost, people getting stressed. If this is what freedom after SPM feels like, then I think I'd like to go back to form 4 please!! I hope tomorrow gets better.

Enough about the day. Time for me to reflect about the day's revelation. I realised today that I actually still have a lot of things to learn. I may know a lot about somethings, but evidently, I don't know anything about a lot of things. I've realised that I have to be humble and accept whatever lessons I get, no questions asked. I'm not all-knowing. So, I just have to accept that there are older and wiser people out there. And the only way for me to be completely accepting of other views is, I have to first be honest. Honest in everything I do and say. Only after that can I really learn from LIFE, I think.

I also realised that I've grown up alot this past year. I probably still have a lot of growing up to do but I'm proud of how far I've come:) I'm not the same person I was 1 year ago. And I don't think I'll be the same person I am now, next year. We're always changing. It's evolution. I think.. no.. I know that I've finally come to terms with that.

Anyway, I probably sound to philosophical already. But this blog is a place for me to turn my thoughts into writing. So, chao!

BOREDOM!

Okay. Today was... okay. My mom asked me if I could teach her how to blog. It'll be really cool to see her posts! I think I'd probably enjoy it setting up her blog more than she would (ha ha!). I just can't wait for that day:)
Anyway, I wanted to post something here but I have no idea what to say. Today was just one of those days where I felt happy and content the whole day. There was nothing that particularly bothered me and nothing that overjoyed me either. I don't know whether to love this kind of days or to hate them. Don't get me wrong, I'd definitely love to be content everyday, but not without some adventure. Today wasn't even a lazy day, just an ordinary one. I think I'd prefer to have a life full of new stuff to do and adventures to face. I just HATE feeling bored. Its the worst feeling ever. All I do when I'm bored is sit and read or play solitaire. But this can't be it right?? There has to be more to life than just sitting around, reading and playing solitaire. I'm sure there is but I guess I just haven't figured it out yet. I hope I do soon though, because after my exams, I'm going to be home all day and I don't want boredom to be my new best friend. Well, until I have something better to say, bye!

Can I get any more bored??

This is what I do when I'm bored. I write. Only now I'm a little more high tech. Anyway, I'm feeling a little lost right now. I'm almost done with my SPM (or O-levels)and I'm more than a little afraid of what's coming up next. I have no clue as to what I want to pursue when I go to college or university. I like reading and writing so should I study English? I want to help change the world so should I do politics or law? I also like helping people figure out their problems so should I do psychology?

I was thinking this through a few days ago til I almost lost it. I was so frustrated and confused. I felt like I was trapped in a box with no way out. But most of all, I was afraid. I was probably headed for a major meltdown. I wondered how could God let me down? How could he let me feel so lost? Why did he leave me in the dark? I prayed and I prayed asking for help. Then I remembered someone telling me that God can only help me if I let him. So I sat still and quiet, listening. Slowly but surely I started feeling much better.


I just accepted that even though I may not know what God has in store for me but I know he has a plan. Something that was meant for me. I just have to go with the flow and not plan too far ahead. This helped me out a lot. Being someone who always has a plan, it was hard to let go and move on without one but I think I can do it now. It's like a revelation. It feels very refreshing to be able to live life as it comes. Day to day. In all this chaos, I've also gained something I've been trying to get for a while now. Patience. It's in my grasp and I can finally wait without agitation.

So anyway, this is this week's revelation. Stay tuned for more! haha:):)