Electrons, Green and Time Travel!

No, it's not easy. Writing I mean. Well, no, not writing. But finding the time, and most of all, the energy, the drive. It's not all that simple. There are words, forming in my head. Hundreds of words, weaving in and out, forming sentences; sometimes coherent, sometimes gibberish. It's like... I don't know, exactly. Like, tiny sparks of electricity, connecting with each other, slowly, till they become one long, meaningful thread of thought. Everything that is going on around me - smell, sight, sound, feeling - everything is recorded by my brain. And then it's interpreted and analysed. Thoughts are formed. Imagery and words. The challenge here is when do I get them down? How and when? Yeah, it's all in my head, enclosed and safe, but I can't exactly keep writing the whole day. Then I'll just miss everything. That completely defeats the purpose.

So, no. It's not easy. My brain wants to keep thinking. Stopping is not an option. Would a bolt of lightning stop mid-strike just because the rain decided to leave? No. And so, I'm reduced to chasing after those words in my head. Trying my best to capture them, immortalise them into cyber space. Hopefully, getting as much out as possible while still retaining their original meaning. I don't want to confuse anyone.

Anyway, now that my fingers are feeling compliant, I am transferring the thoughts from this human brain of mine into the vast space that is the world wide web. My thoughts are now being translated from brain activity (electrons and what not) into some sort of mechanical, binary gibberish that is the language of cyber space. Whoopee! (I don't know if I made much sense right there. Oh well!)

The Glee Project: DAMIAN McGINTY!

He is so good looking! OMG:) Plus, he's from Ireland (Northern Ireland, to be specific). That beautiful voice, and the Irish drawl - just heart melting. Not to mention the amazingly blue eyes. Yes, I have a crush on him, who wouldn't. <-- Just wanted to get that out there:)

Keeping with the Irish theme, My brain goes immediately to Artemis Fowl. What a genius he is (fictional, yes. So I guess the genius here is the creator, Eoin Colfer. But for the sake of my adolescence, lets stick to Artemis Fowl II, shall we?). I've reread the books I own, from the first till the sixth. I have not managed to get my hands on the seventh book yet but I will, soon. It's an amazing series. It's a story that keeps you on your toes and your brain whirring from the first page to the last. I enjoyed reading it. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It seems like almost all the main characters have a sarcastic bone in them, which is really humorous. And of course the whole genius thing. Not only Artemis, but also Foaly(the centaur) Opal(the megalomaniac pixie) and Holly(the elfin LEPrecon Captain). Geniuses.. oops, I mean genii. Anyway, smart in their own way.

The plots are great too. Sure, some people would say that saving the fairy and human world from total annihilation again and again maybe a little redundant but, hey, that's what great stories are made of. Besides, each adventure is totally different simply because Artemis is changing. From cold-hearted, genius, bad-guy who cares for nothing but money to genius bad-guy who has a heart (steal from the rich and give to the poor. Or maybe just steal from the rich, because some people deserve to be stolen from). Then there's the brawn. Butler, to be precise. No, he is not just the smartly dressed guy running around the house serving you drinks. His name is Domovoi Butler (which we don't find out until the third book, because bodyguards are not supposed to reveal their first name to their charge. Something about not getting too attached - not like that helped). He's well trained in a specialised form of martial arts, cordon bleu cooking, weapons and military training, tactical training and other handy skills. Butler is Artemis' bodyguard since the time he was born. Butler is one of Artemis' closest friend and father figure (even if he does take orders). The thing I like most about him is that he has faith in his young charge, even though many don't. Butler goes through with Artemis' bold schemes without question but he's also the moral compass (as much of a moral compass as he can be to a 14 year old criminal master mind). The best thing though, is how much Butler loves his little sister (who, by the way, received the same training as he did). Anyway, Artemis Fowl is a great read. And he's Irish! :)

Moving on, trials are coming up and I am... not the least bit worried. Well, actually I am. I'm just not too 'semangat' to care right now. I don't know where it went to, but my usually spunk has left the building. I am not into anything except maybe cute Irish boys and brain electron stimulating novels. I don't seem to care much for school. Nor do I care much about going out or even staying home. When I'm home, I want to go out. when I'm out, I want to be home. When I'm in school, I can't wait to get out. What is up with me?? I just want to get this whole school thing over with. I'll be glad of the day I stop wearing the blue and white uniform so synonymous with secondary schools here in Malaysia. I'm fed of up it all. Not of studying, just school. Honestly, I can't wait to give my time and effort fully to studying what I want to. Creative writing and sociology. I would give my whole self to the pursuit of this knowledge. But first, I have to get through STPM. I have to hang on tight. Hmm, maybe if I could just fall asleep for 4 months. If only.

Hmm.. I'm making butterscotch cookies tomorrow. Maybe I'll make some salted caramel too.

I need to find something, a meaning or purpose. I feel like I'm drifting right now. Aimlessly living life with no real colour. How do I explain this? There is nothing that I want more than getting to next year. So, right now, I'm just living each day because I need to in order to get through to next year. It's not that bad la. Everyday there's something to make me smile and be all happy. I love my life, really. When I come right down to it, my life is great. I'm not thinking of running away or anything like that, just that I want to run right into next year. This whole school thing has really tired me out. I'm just fed up of it. Who wouldn't be? C'mon, 12 years in school. That's over 63% of my life as a school student. No, I'm ready for the big time! I want something more! :)

As for now, what I need more of is sleep. Adieu :)

Not So Simple Anymore

Well, a great may things have gone down since my last post. But no, I will not write about it, mostly because I don't want to. No talks about Patti, no reliving old memories and certainly no mention of any school dramas.

What I will rant about this evening is my 'favourite' band, Simple Plan.



From left to right: David, Jeff, Chuck, Sebastien(below), Pierre,

 Why the inverted commas, u ask? Well, when I first discovered Simple Plan, I was hooked. Their songs spoke directly to me like no other band or singer could. The lyrics were always meaningful and the music was great. Nad and I went crazy for them. We learnt their full names by heart, joined their web page mailing list, memorised all their songs, watched as many videos we could find on them and stalked their website and fan pages. We we're, seriously, Addicted (one of their songs). There seems to be a bump on the yellow brick road.

Simple Plan has for us a song for every occasion. When you have a crush, it's Addicted. Fought with your best friend - Thank You. Think the worldis being unfair - Me Against The World or Crazy. Need a song to open your eyes - Hold On. An anthem for us young teens - Generation or One. Or, my personal favourite, for when you lose someone dear to you - Meet You There.

Their songs are always there for us. And so are they. Simple Plan constantly posts videos and updates for their fans. They're always connected to us, which is one of the best things about them. Their fans are a big part of who they are. Nad and I also fell in love with the band members. Sure, their songs are great, but they are pretty awesome too! Pierre (lead singer), David (bassist and background vocals), Jeff (lead guitar), Sebastien (guitar and background vocals) and Chuck (drummer). They are our boys. We feel like we know them. Pierre is Nad's fave and Sebastien, mine.

I bet you're still wondering about the inverted commas. Well, honestly, I still to love them to bits. But I am, however, a little hurt that they haven't had a concert here in over 5 years. The last time they came down was to promote their 2nd album. Its been over 5 years and 3 albums now, and still no sign of Simple Plan anywhere in Malaysia. I'm seriously hurt. They did say in one video how much they love it here and that they'll definitely be back. Well, that hasn't happened yet. I really want to see them live. It'll be so awesome to see them perform live. Icing on the cake with a cherry on top if they had an autograph singing session that I could go for, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, no?

Like I said, I still love them to bits. I just feel like the balloon has deflated a little, you know. I need to get my hands on their latest album, for that fresh burst of Simple Plan. It wont soothe the hurt but it'll help. I haven't been all that connected to what they've been up to lately and I do partly blame them for this. It's injustice, I tell you. You go all over the world, touring for years without a break, but not concerts in Malaysia? Not even in Singapore! :(

I am still hoping to see them perform live one day. Until then, I shall keep trying to get my hands on some original Simple Plan merchandise (I want that bag or hoodie!). Also, I'll keep being hurt, because I think someone really needs to merajuk with them - help them come to their senses. Hmph!

unSMART

It's been days, I know. It's not like I don't have the time, because I do. It's just that everytime I get to Blogger, I feel lazy. To be honest I'm feeling quite lazy now too but since I lack stuff to do, I've decided to write.

I GOT MY FISH BACK!!! Finally, after almost two months, I got my precious fish back. I made it with my own two hands (and the abang's hands too) of clay and water. I have yet to name it (or even paint it for that matter), but I still love it. It's a cute little fish, with sharp teeth, funny looking fins and an off center tail. After two months, it's finally home. Now, I just have to paint it:) In due time.

Next? Hmm... I had a lot of things to write about but I can't seem to remember any of it right now. I guess I should have written it all down when it was fresh in my mind. Laziness overcame me and now I have nothing.

Oh, I know! I've been trying to decide what to study after STPM (well, what's new?). Counseling psychology sounds good. It's something that interests me and I think I might really like doing it. But then, there's also journalism (which I don't think I'm very keen on) and of course, this just popped into my mind: house restoration! Now that is interesting. I love old things and I love working with my hands. I think it's a job I would love to do. Problem is, what should I study? What course should I take? Should even study at all? I mean, it's mostly physical work, right? So, on the job training would be better, no? Then, where should I go for that? Oh, so many questions! Where to I even begin answering?? (Oops, another question!)

Oi.

Moving on, I think I should get into gear with school. I've been cruising along, playing Mafia at every free period, reading oh so many books (all of which aren't in my Literature Syllabus) and neglecting my well kept school files. It's not that I don't pay attention in class, I do (except for PA). I just think I should start some off-school-hours studying. Hit the books, as they say. It's now August. Trials are next month and STPM two months after that. Time for me to get worried about my exams (it's seems like that's what everyone is doing and I'm getting weird looks for being so blase about it).

I can't wait till it's all over!

SMART! No, not me. I mean Storm water Management and Road Tunnel (S.M.A.R.T). I've always been so amazed with the ingenuity of the tunnel. The engineering involved, and technique and ideas and putting it all together. It was a massive effort, bringing to life the 9.7km long storm drainage and road tunnel. It's the longest storm water tunnel in South East Asia, you now? And the second longest in Asia.

Basically, there's two levels. The top is for cars and the bottom is for water. There are 3 modes.The first is when the whole tunnel is opened to traffic and the flood water tunnel is not operational (all is bright and sunny in KL!). So, the second mode is when the top level is opened to traffic and the lower level is pumped with flood water (that's how it  works during most storms). The third mode is when the whole tunnel is closed and both levels are used to pump flood water (big, big storms!).

Anyway, I drove through SMART yesterday! It was awesome!

Gotta go now, will be back later!

Paper and Ink

It's been a while, a long while since I've managed to disappear into another world. These past few months have been, at the most, entertaining. Exciting, not thrilling. Tasteful, not mouth-watering. Indulgent, not overwhelmingly good. I can't tell if it's just me or the books. I could not, no matter how hard I tried, escape into the world beyond the pages. Paper and ink remained merely paper and ink. The words didn't jump out, they didn't dance in my mind forming beautiful faces and scenes as they once did. They remained still and lifeless; just words being read, nothing more. I thought I had lost it. No, what a silly notion. No one just loses their love of reading. That's not how it works. Right? It does seem that way, though. 

Hmm, I shouldn't dwell on the past. I'm back now; or at least, my love is back. I found it, locked way back in my mind (or heart, those two go hand in hand, yes? Topic for another time). This book, it was the key. The key I've been searching for. It fits perfectly into the keyhole of that wretched chest in my mind (or heart) that stowed away my love for books. It is a young love, lots to develop and learn, but a love nonetheless. A love which I am glad to have back. I can now see the world beyond the paper, beyond the ink, the world of imagination where anything is possible. It's open to me as if nothing stood in my way. All I need to do is read a few words and I'm thrust back into the world of wonders. Everything comes to me clearly now. Pictures form in my mind as clearly as if I see them in real life. Sight and sound and even smell  are no longer forced but flow willingly out of the pages into my mind. I'm free. Inkheart did the trick. 

Now, I'm itching to read Inkspell (the second book in the Inkworld Trilogy). Tomorrow, I shall once again board the train of words that will surely take me into another 600 pages of wonder and excitement. Irony and humour, love and hate, classic good versus evil will dominate my mind. Hopefully I do not end it too fast. The finale, Inkdeath, is a good 7-10 working days away from my grasp. Imagine, finishing Inkspell fast and having to wait a whole day (or two or three) for Inkdeath. I'd go mad! Cornelia Funke has managed to capture me with her words. I love writers who love adjectives. They help me mould the characters in my mind, the setting and even they way everyone sounds. I've missed that ever since reading my first novel, HP6 by JKR. No one had yet managed to capture me quite like Ms. JKR (Dan Brown comes close though) but Ms. Cornelia Funke has done a pretty darn good job. I can't wait to see what happens in Inkspell; what adventures await Meggie and Farid, what becomes of Dustfinger and that little marten Gwin and what of Resa and Mo? 

New Stuff!

It it just me, or has everyone's Blogger Dashboard changed? This is super weird. I don't go online for less than 2 days and everything has changed. I'm quite lost in this new design. It's all so uber sophisticated and sleek. I don't like it at all :(

It reminds me of one of those new kitchens with stainless steel everywhere and black counter tops. So lifeless, so steely. Oh well, I adapt easily. This won't be too hard. Right?

Anyways, I'm here to tell the world (because I'm so happy about it) that Mama bought us an Amazon Kindle!! Yes, one of Oprah Winfrey's favourite things! In fact, it was her show that introduced me to it in the first place. An eBook Reader of awesome proportions.

Mama ordered it from Amazon.com and had it shipped here with the help of a friend. We bought an orange leather casing to go with it. It's beautiful. When I first saw it, it looked so fake, like a toy. It's the E Ink Pearl Technology. I downloaded some classics from Amazon, like War and Peace and The Legend of King Arthur. Mum got some of her own romance novels. We're having lots of fun figuring it out.

Reading on the Kindle is not that much different than reading an actual book. Of course, the experience of reading a real book is slightly better, but the Kindle fairs pretty well, especially when you're travelling or if you have no idea what you want to read (because you can bring along so many books).

Anyway, only another 40 minutes till I can taste my Brandy and Chocolate Mousse thingy. Yum!

My Little Road

And so my road, is pretty much wonky and wobbly and very not-straight. I seem to trip a lot on pebbles and weeds. There are trees everywhere; some old and graceful, looming over me protectively, and yet some are big and scary,hovering menacingly and casting shadows. I dare not move off the road, though I must say, the temptation is strong.


Wait, let me re-phrase that. It's not that I don't dare, its that even though I really want to sometimes, I don't. No because of fear but because of faith. I see the wonders of veering my pathway in a different direction. It's alluring, tempting. The feeling of total recklessness and freedom. Complete freedom. Who wouldn't want that? It's to die for - so may have died for freedom, as our history books tell us. No worries, no commitment, no expectations, no bills. Just you and the world, the raw world of living. I want that, and have wondered, more than once, what it would be like to live that way.

Alas, I end up always sticking to my path. I don't mean that with regret. I actually love my life. I just sometime wonder what it's like. I feel like I'm headed no where now, so why not try everything? It could be a lot of fun. But no, I don't do it. I have faith, no matter how much it wanes sometimes, that my path is set. I'm heading in the right direction, generally.

The specifics need to be worked out though. Like, which tree do I keep track of? Which weed do I pull out? Should I re-arrange the pebbles? and should the birds nest here or there? It's all a big pile of decisions to be made. My landscape, my scenery, unfolding according to my whim, based solely on my decisions. That's how I see my life. Right now, I can see, very clearly, about 20-30 years in the future. I have it planned out. The getting there is what stumps me. I have no idea what lays between here and there. But then again, it's up to me now, isn't it, to decide what goes on along the way? So, I should be able to light up my path. Not as easy as  it sounds though.

My interests are many. I skim the top of every surface I find, mostly because I'm curious. The problem is, I don't seem to have the urge to go deeper. Of course, I can make myself sink if  want to, that's completely possible when it comes to me. However, there is no passion to guide me. I have not found a single thing that is enticing enough to get me going. Nothing that is heart pounding, blood rushing, attention grabbing, or even remotely passion-inducing to get me excited about. I need to figure this out. I need to know if there is something out there for me.

Hmm... Anyway, I just found a nice little clearing along the path where I can pitch a tent. So it seems the universe is telling me to stop. Good night then fellow Earthlings, you are great! :)

A Mask, Is That All We Are?

It's like the rug has been pulled from beneath my feet. Whenever someone asked me who my male idol was, his named leaped into my mind. Not only was he a good player, he was also a family man, no scandals following him around like a dark cloud. Ryan Giggs was a hero of mine, I totally adored him, he was the main reason I even watched a football game. I loved his walk, his voice, his values. But hearing the rumours, and truth, makes you think about the world and the masks people put on.

An affair with a model which he tried to cover up. Just when my heart started to crumble, just when i thought it could not get any worse, it did. An on again, off again affair with none other than his BROTHER'S wife! Dude, talk about morals. Don't you think you hurt your wife enough, your family, your fans? Was the pressure of being a good example to heavy for you? Or is this actually who you really are? Either way, I feel ashamed for you. I feel hurt and betrayed, and your wife would be even more so.

How dare you? How could you have thrown everything you had aside like it didn't matter? It doesn't matter why you did it, what matter is that you actually did it. You gave into being a man, you forgot you values and just stopped caring the moment you did this. I am, seriously, feeling so let down, words can't even help me explain it. I'd love to just curse at you and tell you that you're not even human anymore. But I wont. You need to get help, you need to work things out and try to make it a little better. You know you can. For your family, for your fans, and for yourself. You failed, we know that. But don't fail again, please.

The La Sallian Way of Life

I'm back from Ipoh! Those days were definitely memorable! (Though if you asked me right now, I can't remember everything we did (: )

Let's kick off from the beginning. We arrived at the La Salle Centre in Ipoh at around 5pm. There were already a few people there by that time. I met my room mate, Mary Ann and the three guys got their room right next to mine. We left our bags in the room and went exploring!

The whole centre was beautiful. There was a small pond of Koi fishes and trees everywhere. There were also about 5 or 6 aquariums of fishes. From goldfish to love parrot fishes and even snails! And tadpoles too, can't forget the tadpoles. That was just the La Salle Centre. There was a gate that lead to SMI. St. Michael's Institution is HUGE! The building is so old and well preserved. They have a huge football field and basketball courts. The classroom door are big and wooden. They also have what the natives call 'the 5-star toilets'. It is amazing! Really like the ones you can see in hotels. Oh, and they also have CCTV's at every corner of the school.

So that's the environment. Now let's talk about the people. My room mate is a Michaelian. There were also Georgians, Paulians, Xavierians, Josephians (Kuchingians), and some others I can't quite remember right now. All the boys were really nice. Martin Jalleh conducted most of the camp and Isaac (who works at the La Salle Centre) conducted the final part. Martin Jalleh was, of course, as good as ever. He had that infamous laugh of his, and all his jokes, old and new. I had a blast during his sessions. We also met Bro. Vincent, an 82 year old La Salle brother, Bro. Michael and Bro. Matthew. I really like all of them . They all have the gift of the gab. Whenever they spoke, they knew just how to hold our attention. Perfect when handling a bunch of teenage boys!

The sessions really help me learn a lot about myself, and La Salle and how to handle the world and my encounter with God. As Bryce said, it was a change. We all changed in one way or the other. It seemed like we had just as much free time as we had sessions. We had about 5 hours of free time on Monday afternoon. Bryce, Jon, Kevin and I sought the services of Michaelians to show us around the area. They took us to Ipoh Parade. I loved it there! It's just like Subang Parade but less. They have tons of shoes and clothing stores as well as cool graffiti T shops. I bought myself a red, green and yellow skull cap. The next night, we went to their version of Petaling Street but a lot less intimidating, Gerbang Malam. There were countless stalls selling phone covers. One guy even had a stall as big as four put together. Phone covers were hanging everywhere! I found the cover I wanted for my phone and Bryce found 2. We also bought a huge bouncy ball for Bryce's little brother. After that we took a taxi back to the La Salle Centre.

Now, We had a lot of fun there, as you now know. However, we also learnt a lot. I, for one, found out a lot about our founder La Salle. He was of a rich family but the sight of young French boys running around, too poor for school moved him to start a school for them. He was an amazing man who put God first and let God work magic through him. Slowly, his order grew and before he knew it, they were being summoned to other places to do good work. But, even La Salle had trouble. He retreated to Parsimony for a few years, tired of life and problems. That did not stop him though, for he received a letter from his fellow brothers requesting his presence. So he complied. All us La Sallians owe La Salle a whole lot. It's because of him that we now have beautiful schools set up for us us, helping us grow in a spirit of oneness and camaraderie. It's the La Sallian way, so I've learned.

I'm glad I had the chance to to experience La Salle. It's my last year here and I feel truly blessed to be a La Sallian (even though I started late in life :P ) The people I met and the things I've learnt are beautiful. The experiences and bonds are irreplaceable.

On the down side, I may never see many of them again. We all have each other's numbers and email so maybe there might be a chance, you'll never know. I'm definitely going to keep in touch with my La Sallian side:)

Another down side is that this camp has made me realise that I do not have a clue as to where I'm headed in life. I postponed my worry after SPM but now, I have to face it head on. I'm gonna be out of school in a few months and I need a course of action. A plan. I'm felling pretty lost right now. I need Fr.PM to get back soon so I can talk to him. I think he might be able to guide me a little.

Hmm, I guess for now I'll have to do some silent meditation. See where that leads me. Oh well, World, here I come!