Dear Mother Nature, CC: GOD

After facing the cold for 24 days in Europe, coming back to the Malaysian summer is really hard to handle. Before this, Malaysian summer was hot but this is just bordering on unbearable. I'm literally melting everyday. I go to sleep melting, and I wake up melted.

I think it's safe to say that I've melted off what little fat I had left on my body. This is just too much la. All it took was 24 days in 7-8˚C weather for my body to reject heat. Really? C'mon, body, you've lived in Malaysia your whole life. You can do this!

On top of everything, one of the fans in the hall decided to malfunction today. Not just any fan, but the one nearest to the PC. This is some sort of punishment. I bet it is. I mean, this is like some major heatwave la. Ok, maybe not the fatal kind, but still, it's terrible enough to warrant a complaint.

So this is my official complaint:

TO: earthcare@mothernature.org
CC: info@GOD.org


Dear Mother Nature,


I'm Kathleen Fernandez from Malaysia, Earth. I'm writing to you today to lodge a complaint on the current weather conditions here in Asia, specifically, Malaysia.


The weather has been incredibly hot these past few days. I use the term 'incredibly' very loosely here for I can't seem to find a big enough word to express the current state of hotness. It's verging on the unbearable.


The plants all around are screaming for water (according to Klausner, who has the sound machine that enables humans to listen to plants). According to Klausner, the plants are dehydrating. They are losing their leaves due to a lack of water for transpiration and photosynthesis.


Also, animals are running around panicked because of the scarce natural water supply. Cats and dogs are secretly invading households and while some humans do relent and allow them to drink from their pails, not all humans are that kind. Therefore, the animals are suffering.


As for the humans, we are melting in this heat. While it does wonders in burning off fats (especially for those who find it hard to exercise), the heat is also making us sweat a whole lot more causing a massive dehydration pandemic.


We require your assistance, Mother Earth. Please, send us some rain. We need the showers. We need some cooling off.


Please and Thank You,
Your human,
Kathleen.


p.s: I CC'ed this to GOD. Maybe you can work something out with Him?