On The Edge...

It's weird how I only get nervous on the day of something big. Even when I was still in school, it was always like that. I would only really feel nervous on the day of public exams or on some big camping trip or whatever. Never the days and months leading up to it and not even on the day before. The nerves usually kicked in on the morning of.

That's sort of what happened today. Mama took me to Sunway University and then to HELP University to find out about the Psychology course they offered. It was a big deal. I mean, I'm finally at this crossroad. I've seen my friends come and go at this junction and now I'm finally here too. It feels pretty exciting but really, really nauseating too (that's probably the nerves though).

We went to Sunway first. Their course structure seems pretty good. They have an intern-ship at the end of the 3rd year too. It seems pretty solid. Also, there's a 50% fee waiver that I'm eligible for in the first semester and if I keep my grades up, it'll be applicable for the following semesters as well, which is pretty awesome.

After all that, we headed to HELP. HELP's more established when it comes to their psychology programmes. Rightly so, since they've been doing it for ten years now. The electives that they offer are pretty interesting too. It's slightly cheaper but once we add the transport money and what not, it'll come up to about the same. One low point is that the only scholarship they can offer is a 10k reduction of the tuition fees which I have to apply for and might not even get.

Right now, I'm on the fence. I really like the campus at Sunway and their course modules aren't all that different from HELPs. However, I do like the fact that HELP lets me choose my electives (most of which are pretty interesting). Travelling and parking is going to be mad there but I don't think that's a deal breaker. So, I think I know where I'm going to go but I do need to talk to someone a little more before I decide.

And then, who knows, I may register next week:)

All this is really exciting. I've never been here before. All this is pretty new for me. I finally get to choose what I want to study. I'm moving into a whole new kind of education. I'm pretty stoked but plenty nervous as well. I hope I make the right choice. This is my life after all. So, the decision that lies before me is a mighty important one. (I sound like this because I just watched Thor. So, I hope you can ignore my Shakespeare-ean English :P)

While we were on the way to HELP, I thought about what I was feeling. It came to me like this: I felt like I was a bird about to take flight. Here I am, standing on the edge of a cliff, all those years of learning how to fly is behind me, and I can't do much but take flight. This, right now, is that few seconds before I jump off that cliff. That moment when my stomach-butterflies decide to go haywire and I'm not sure if I'll survive the jump. But, I know that I have to jump anyway.

That's how I feel. The jump is coming, and I know it. I just don't know how long it'll take me to adjust my wings and start flying, or in fact, if I'll ever fly at all. This is all getting to be really taxing on my mind.

I gotta sleep now because I'm super sleepy. So, hopefully I'll wake up with a clearer sense of direction.
Fare thee well.