Smaug's Sexy Voice

I watched The Desolation of Smaug today!!

FINALLY!

I'm going to say right now that this post if not a review or anything, just me typing out my thoughts. It's going to take a few more times of watching the entire thing before I can even think of a proper review because there's just so much going on!

So here it is, my first impressions:

1. It's an exciting movie. So much happens in those almost-three hours. We see the dwarves and Biblo encounter Beorn. They escape spiders, get captured by Elves, run away into Lake Town, steal into Erebor and finally, chase out Smaug the Stupendous.
2. If you were expecting a spectacular movie that stays true to the book then you will most definitely be disappointed. However, as a stand alone film, I'd say it's pretty good. I ooh'd and ahh'd when I was supposed to, I laughed and even almost cried. It was a good experience.
3. There were so many beautiful people in this movie. SO MANY THAT I DID NOT KNOW WHO TO FOCUS ON! I'm going to watch it over an over again just so I can focus on one person each time.
4. Thorin had so many majestic close ups. Richard Armitage was glorious. 
5. Right, I might as well include a list of those beautiful people (in no particular order):
• Richard Armitage as Thorin. All those close ups and majestic speeches
• Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins. THIS MAN IS AMAZING. There's a scene where he loses the ring for a minute. Then he sees it on the ground and reaches for it but then a spider comes up and blocks his way and Bilbo just slaughters it, picks up the ring and says, "Mine". Then he sits back, gives it a beat and suddenly realised what just happened. It was incredible. The switch between being totally entranced by the ring and being a normal, gentle hobbit again was just ergh
• Aiden Turner as Kili. He's adorable as ever but a little bit pale on account of being poisoned. 
• Dean O'Gorman as Fili. He constantly looked like Middle Earth's heartthrob of the century. And when he decided to stay with Kili at Lake Town, it made me tear up. 
• Adam Brown as Ori. HE WAS SO ADORABLE OMG I JUST WANTED TO WRAP HIM IN  A BLANKEt AND PRoteCT HIM From the WORLD
• Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug & Sauron. His voice has me wishing Smaug was real because holy terrors he was amazing. You could only hear a hint of Benedict beneath those growls and he did a lot of that on his own. 
• Luke Evans as Bard. He was broody, sly, brave and just everything. I cannot wait to see him kill Smaug in the next one.
• Orlando Bloom as Legolas. Bluest eyes to ever blue. He looked a little different in this one, in my opinion, but no less beautiful. His hair is shorter and he's definitely a little less refined than he was in LOTR. And I absolutely love the faces he makes when he's fighting!
• Lee Pace as Thranduil. The most beautiful he-Elf I have ever seen in my life. Sorry Legolas, your dad is King.
6. Now that's done, lets talk about what I did not quite like:
• The whole Tauriel romance thing doesn't sit well with me. I think Peter Jackson could have implied romance instead of shoving it in our faces. This line, "I wonder if she could have loved me?", that was completely unnecessary. I don't mind a Dwarf-Elf relationship but I do mind it being portrayed like some cheesy action romance.
• Beorn was all wrong! He's supposed to be a gracious host, laughing and eating and not giving much away in terms of information. It was all wrong and I did not like it.
• Kili being poisoned. What was that?? All the dwarves were supposed to go to Erebor. ALL OF THEM.
7. Here's what I absolutely adored (not everything la, just a few because listing everything would take too long):
• THRANDUIL!! He was incredible! All mighty and kingly and majestic. The way he walked and talked and just about everything, sensational.
• Tauriel. I was a little skeptical about her at first seeing as she isn't in the books but now I love her. He hair is impossibly long and well maintained (it's a wig, I know), she's sassy and beautiful and everything you'd want of a modern leading lady. She saved the day so many times I just stopped counting. 
• Lake Town. It didn't look as I had imagined it but it was pretty darn good. When the Master of Lake Town was talking to his right hand man, I almost forgot that we were watching a story about dwarves and a hobbit. I kind of wish there could be a spin off about Lake Town.
• Erebor. Treasure everywhere! And I love how Thorin covered Smaug in molten gold. It was a good attempt. And an incredible scene.
• The way Smaugs belly glowed red just before he breathes fire. That was a good touch. Smart animating.  
8. It looked to me like Legolas' eyes are much bluer than they are in LOTR. It looked a little fake but in the right angles, mesmerizing. Orlando Bloom ages pretty well.

Ok, I think that's about it. All things considered, it was a good movie. It doesn't quite measure up to LOTR, granted, but it's stands strong in it's own right. I would definitely watch it again and again just so I can file it away as a pretty good stand-alone movie. And of course, so I can enjoy the beautiful male presence. Seriously, even Dwalin had his moment of majestic posing.

Let's hope I'm better at being 22 than I was at being 26

I wonder why the new year is such a big deal? Fireworks, parties, resolutions. I see why it may be a big deal for school going people since a new year usually means new subjects, perhaps new teachers. But what about working adults? The first day of this year was a Wednesday. A normal Wednesday. They didn't go to work. But then they did on Thursday. So what's the fuss? I don't know, man, but I sure as hell was excited about it!

For me, new year means a new semester at university. The second semester of my second year. In about a year and a half, I'll be done with this. Incredible. I remember starting out and thinking to myself that three years is a hell of a long time to be studying again. I was wrong.

The new year also makes me think of my impending birthday anniversary. 22 years ago (minus about a months and a half), I was born. Imagine that. Or maybe don't. I get really nervous every time my birthday approaches. Honestly, I spent at least half my waking hours yesterday feeling all nauseous and anxious over turning 22.

It's always struck me as odd that I feel nervous. I mean, why wouldn't I be excited? I'm getting older, people are more likely to take me seriously. Also, the older I get, the more control I have over my own life and my decisions. I should be happy, excited. Instead, I'm happy and anxious. All that responsibility.

Also, I can't seem to imagine myself being any age other than what I am right now. Questions like, "Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years?" don't work with my brain because I don't see it as me, aged 5 years older and in the future. What I see when I try to answer the question is me right now time travelling to five years in the future, pretending to know what I'm doing and behaving in the exact way me-right-now would.

I don't know what I'd be like in five years. I don't even know if I'll be alive or have the same number of limbs; how am I supposed to know what I'd be doing with my life in that time?

So yea, birthdays make me nervous. Mostly because I have no idea what the next year of my life will bring me or how I'll will have changed by the end of it. Actually, now that I think of it, I'm also nervous because of the whole responsibility thing. I mean, c'mon, who thought it'd be a good idea to let me grow up and have a set of my own car keys and control of my own bank account?

I want to be able to handle myself well. But I also want to never let go or forget the little kid inside of me. Birthdays are just another way of celebrating the addition of another horrendously boring and routine layer of adulthood over the fun and simplicity of childhood. I have to make sure I build in a giant doorway into those layers so I can access the fun whenever I want to.

Anyways, Happy New Year :)

Goodnight, Raggedy Man

I had the urge to write so here I am.

So many thoughts. But first, Doctor Who. 

This Christmas we said goodbye to the Eleventh Doctor, the amazing Matt Smith and his delicate eyebrows. When I was on a Doctor Who marathon to catch up with the latest episodes back in season 7, I was sad that we saw so little of Christopher Eccleston as Nine. Then I fell in love with David Tennant as the Tenth. Watching him leave was a sob fest in my room. He was beautiful and perfect and I didn't want someone new to take over his name. I was thoroughly against it!

But Davina told me to continue and I did. And before the end of the first episode of Matt Smith as the Doctor, I was hooked. Matt delivered a brilliant performance and till this day, my favourite line from him is, "I'm the Doctor. Basically, run." His first episode; The Eleventh Hour.

He was the boy, the playful one, the cheeky little imp. The quirky dancing, the bow tie, the desperate attempt for a simpler life by forgetting all the pain, the big sad eyes framed with almost no eyebrows and the flappy hands when he speaks. These are the things I'll miss most with Matt Smith gone. He was a fantastic doctor in his own right and no one can convince me otherwise.

Now, throughout the year, I've read tonnes of reviews of the show written by fans. Mostly praising Matt for his continuously brilliant acting and berating Moffat (the head writer) for all the plot holes and shoddy characters. I agree with some of the criticism of Moffat. His writing is obviously misogynistic at times and some of the plot holes are just way to big to ignore. However, I think the Christmas special addressed a few of those plot holes (while creating a few more which I'm sure the fans will pick up on once they're done mourning Matt's goodbye). 

One plot hole I've noticed was the whole regeneration thing. Eleven explained that Ten used one regeneration but kept the same face and the War Doctor used one regeneration as well even though he didn't call himself The Doctor. So that makes Eleven technically the thirteenth doctor. No more regenerations. So he resigned himself to growing old. 

However, there was a point in series 7 when he gave River some regeneration powers to heal her broken hand and he also tried to regenerate when River (as the impossible astronaut) shot him. Where did he get those regenerations from? Major. Plot. Hole!

I'm not too sure but I think those regenerative stuff came from River herself who gave it to him in Let's Kill Hitler (or the episode after that?) when he was dying or something and there was a robot Amy Pond? So perhaps that's the explanation for Eleven being left with no more regenerations in this Christmas episode?

Anyways, the Time Lords supplied him with a whole new regeneration cycle (so another 12 regenerations?) which left him able to change into the Twelfth Doctor (PETER CAPALDI). Cool. But what about the Time Lords? What about Gallifrey? Are they ever coming back to this Universe? Will the Doctor ever see them again? Why was Clara in the same flat as Rose was? Does that mean something?

ALL THE QUESTIONS!

Either way, Matt is gone and I'll miss him a lot. And I think for Whovians, especially those who got into it with the reboot, these Whovians will always equate bow ties with Doctor Who. Matt made bow ties cool. And stetsons. And though no one ever said it, skinny jeans and suspenders. He was our hipster doctor.

On the other hand, I can't wait to see what Peter Capaldi will turn into a trend.

We've only seen him for a few seconds at the end of the Christmas episode. Some people swear that he kept his Sottish accent. I hope so! That's both sad and exciting. Sad because character-wise, he probably developed a Scottish accent in memory of Amelia Pond. Exciting because SCOTTISH ACCENT!

I'm not sure though. He didn't say much so we'll have to wait till August to find out. I'm really excited about Peter Capaldi being the Doctor. I have no idea who he is and I've only watched one movie with him in it (I only watched it because I found out that he's going to be Twelve and I wanted to know him on screen). I'm pretty sure I'm going to like him as the Doctor. He seems promising, really. And I can't wait to see Clara and him interact! Plus, he's got huge eyebrows (which is something I hope Clara points out in the upcoming series).

8 months. 8 months till the next series. In that time, Supernatural season 9 would have ended, so would Sherlock season 3, Game of Thrones season 4 and Hannibal season 2. Also, I'd be done with my second year of university. So many things will end before the beginning of a new era on Doctor Who. 

PETER CAPALDI!

Band Girl

Well look at that. It's been more than a month.

This semester is finally over, thank God. It's been quite a long semester, relatively speaking. I was quite ready to flop on the floor by the end of week 8. But of course, I couldn't. I had 14 weeks altogether to get through. 201 was fun. I learnt a lot and Ms. Winnee was a great lecturer. 209 was ok. I didn't participate in class as much as I should have but I did enjoy the class. I can't say the same for Malaysian Studies, though. That was horrible, as expected. I'm just glad to be done with it (I won't know for sure til I get the results but I think I passed. SO, NO MORE!). 205 was interesting. Engaging, to say the least. Dr. Chua tried very hard to help us change the way we think; going from always finding the correct answer to opening our mind to the possibility of multiple answers that are neither right nor wrong. She had me wishing that all teachers would adopt her method of educating.

School aside, things have been ok. I've not been thinking very much but I think I'm heading there. I've started reading again too. Yes, it's been a little bit of a struggle. Dan Brown's Inferno was no issue but the sixth installment to the Hitchhikers Guide is a little harder. I'm reminding myself to read it whenever I have nothing else to do (which is a lot of the time now that I'm on break). Mama bought me quite a few books from the sale recently so I have a bunch more books to read. I still have the ones from last year too. That's one of the the goals I've set for myself this semester break. Read more.

The others are; make perfect caramel sauce, snail mail christmas cards, make macaroons and paint more (specifically: make typography posters but I think I'll widen that to just any kind of painting).

I've made caramel sauce. It came out a little thicker than I wanted so I'm going to have to do that one again. The thick caramel is pretty good so I'm going to save it for the center of my macaroons if I ever manage to make them. Or I might just eat it plain.

I'm not going through the rest of the list because that would be immensely boring. Instead, I'm going to state something I've learnt about myself. I like bands. Yes, this may seem a little obvious to others but I've only just realised this. the kind of music I like is usually band stuff (not boy band). I like Simple Plan, Yellowcard, Coldplay, Linkin Park. I like the collaboration of many instruments and styles and just music by bands. The only solo artist I can confidently say I like is Ed Sheeran. His music is beautiful and I'd listen to his entire album on repeat, no issue. His voice is just amazing and the songs he write are incredibly poetic. But then there are bands who rock out and sing about everything under the sun, both silly and emotionally draining. So yeah, I'm definitely a band girl. :)

OH also! We're going to Singapore this weekend! I'm really excited! I've never been there so I'm looking forward to it! On the down side, there'll be a disruption to the water supply tomorrow and possibly the following few days as well. I am prepared for stinky.

Quote I found in the book I'm currently reading (though I think the author took it from somewhere else):
For every action, there will be an equal and opposite reaction.

Let Your Subconscious Speak!

Righto, time for another post.

I am happy today:)

I had a dream two nights ago and I feel really good about it because I think I understand myself a little more. Dreams, according to Freud, are the "royal road to the unconscious". The foundation of Freudian psychology is the unconscious mind and how we, humans, are driven to behave the way we do by our unconscious mind which is regulated by our conscious and subconscious minds. When we dream, our unconscious mind takes over and it incorporates things from our life, both conscious and subconscious. So Freud felt that analysing and interpreting dreams would be a good way to tap into your unconscious mind. 

I agree, somewhat cautiously, with Freud. When we're thinking about something a lot, we tend to dream about it. When we have a problem and we decide to 'sleep on it', our subconscious works to solve it and sometimes that process manifests itself in the form of dreams. We then wake up with this revelation, the sudden light bulb idea which isn't sudden at all because your brain has been working on it while you were asleep.

So this dream taught me a few invaluable lessons. There were subplots in my dream too but that's not important right now. 

Let's get to the point, shall we.

This dream I had involved things and people from my life as well as stranger elements like a big and clinically white room. I won't recount the dream here but the essence of it was this: I was presented with something I had always been afraid of and that something taught me to: 1. Not be afraid of it anymore because my reasons for being afraid of it were stupid, 2. what I want is not what I always thought I wanted, and 3. it then showed me what I actually do want. The details are irrelevant. 

This lesson came in the form of a person. This person showed me that what I always dreamt of having is not really what I want. All the amazing adventures and excitement, all the crazy fun and all the passion is not what I'm actually craving for. What I want is serenity, gentle love and calm reassurances. As much as I love the idea of a wild west blockbuster Parisian romance, what I really want is the complete opposite. What I want is my own Freddie Page without the drama and commitment issues.

All this time, I was misguided by my own head. I kept imagining incredible adventures with people I love and I've done that so often that I convinced myself it's what I want. I told myself that this is what I keep saying and thinking, therefore this is what I want.

I could not have been more wrong. And my brain decided to clear that up. Thank you, brain.

My subconscious took something I was afraid of (big, scary, too much to handle), put it in the form of a person and then proceeded to show me that I'm not actually afraid of big and scary; that I've been interpreting 'big' and 'scary' wrong all this time. Big and scary turned out to be the gentlest, kindest, most loving creature ever. And this creature then showed me that I wanted big in the form of gentle. I don't even know if that makes sense to anyone but me. 

I wrote the dream down because I want to remember it. The last line explains it perfectly: 

What I want is what he personified in my dream; the calm and comfort that love offers while being paradoxically imposing yet gentle.

I still think that's a bunch of the words swapped for synonyms based on what I wrote above but maybe it helps a little more with the understanding thing.

The whole point of this post is that I've discovered something about myself either by chance or by constant subconscious mulling. I don't know. Maybe both. Whichever it is, I know myself better and I'm better for it. This really made my day, or should I say 'days' since the dream was from two nights ago and I'm still cheery. 

I'm also caught up on my assignments so the only thing that's going to cause me stress is the Malaysian Studies trip but since there's no class tomorrow, I might even be in a great mood for that!

WOHOO!

I DID NOT CRY WOHOO!

THE TIME IS NOW!!

As you can probably tell with the capital letters, I can barely contain my excitement!

I am now, as mama says it, scarred for life. AND IT IS AMAZING!

I finally got myself tattooed! The quote, "I am not alone. I have my imaginary friends" is permanently etched into my skin with black ink.

Yes, it hurt a lot. Needles moving so fast that all you can hear is a buzz and it digging into your skin, embedding ink into your epidermis. I felt like it was vibrating really fast and it was really painful. But totally worth it.

My tattoo artist, Lina, was great. The font she found was beautiful and everything about it is wonderful. And she has beautiful tattoos as well. I can now fully appreciate all the pain a person goes through for a tattoo and lemme tell you, it is incredible. I take my hat off to anyone with a tattoo.

Having said that, I'm definitely going in for another. Not anytime soon, though. I want this one to heal completely first but I'm definitely getting inked again.

Anyways, here it is:

My hairiness is also very obvious but let's ignore that for now and focus on the ink. I AM THOROUGHLY EXCITED ABOUT IT!

MAIL TIME!

THE PAST HAS ARRIVED!

Hehehee.

I got another letter from my past self! :)

I love getting these letters. It's a nice benchmark for the year. It helps me look back on things that have happened over the past year and how much has changed.

I was particularly chatty a year ago. I wrote myself a 2 paged letter. A lot has definitely changed. I've gotten closer to my new friends. so close that they're not even new anymore. Uni is no longer new either. I'm so comfortable there and doing my own thing. I know how to be a university student. The thing that hasn't changed is my excitement over learning psychology, though. That's still pretty much the same and I'm glad that it is. 

Me from a year ago wanted me now to have a tattoo and though I don't have one yet, I will in 3 days! So that's something I can definitely check off my list. I haven't milked a cow, sewn a dress from scratch or gone bungee jumping but I have had English Tea at Ms.Marples in Melbourne! Better one thing than nothing at all.

I wrote myself another letter to my future self. One more year till I hear from me again.

I think it's a beautiful idea. I think everyone should do it. Also, now that I think of it, this moment, this thing of sending letters to myself, it goes really well the tattoo I'm going to get (I'm not alone, I have my imaginary friends). Apt, I'd say.

I wonder what me from the future will be like. Happy, I hope. And a little more confident. Fitter and perhaps eating healthier. A little more motivated too and less restless.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, I'm going to sleep. I know that me from tomorrow is going to be mad at me from today if I stay up any later :P

Ink and No Angel

Two things; Supernatural and Tattoos.

Thing 1: Supernatural.

Season 9 just started and we're 3 episodes in. I really like this season so far. It feels different.

Dean is more forthcoming with his feelings and there's so much going on with Sam. Cas is human now and struggling. I can't wait for more Crowley. And Kevn. KEVIN! He is amazing this season. New generation hunter and part of the family. He's beautiful.

I'm really happy there's still 20 episodes to look forward to.

All the subplots are, in my opinion, a lot more exciting this time. Sam has an angel inside him to help him heal but he doesn't know about it. Said angel doesn't want Cas around, which means Dean has to kick Cas out of the bunker. Kevin is the new Bobby, Crowley is half human, Abaddon wants to be Queen of Hell and is gathering her army, Bartholomew is the new Angel boss, Metatron is still in heaven, Gabriel is coming back. So demons and angels and reapers are looking for Cas and the Winchesters. SO MUCH IS HAPPENING!!

Thing 2: Ink.

I'm going to make an appointment this Saturday. I'm really excited about it! The quote I'm getting is:

i am not alone
i have my
imaginary friends

I want it on my arm that way and have a sort of armband going around. I have an idea for the armband pattern but I will ask the artist if he thinks its ok. He'll know better and probably even come up with a better design. But that's essentially what I want.

I can't wait. Tomorrow is Saturday!