You Won't Get Me!

I felt horrible yesterday. The flu attacked out of nowhere. I was dizzy and my limbs were fatigued. Luckily for me, working stabilised me a little. It was fun. But today, I'm on medical leave. I was just so exhausted. I feel so guilty about missing work. I'm definitely going tomorrow. Amy's back today and I'll only get to see her tomorrow :( Anyway, I can't wait to go back to work. There's not much to do here. There's housework, which I'm doing, but other than that, there's nothing.

I woke up at around 1pm. Then I had lunch. After that I just walked around the house in a daze. I didn't feel sick but I didn't feel healthy either. I was kind of lethargic I think. After that, I decided to sleep again (just to past the time). When I woke up, mom took me to the doctor to get my MC letter. I have to hand it in tomorrow.

I totally love closing shifts, but I just can't wait to go back to work and 5pm tomorrow, or rather today (I'm updating this blog and it's now 12.59am) seems like a long way to go. 16 hours to be exact. Anyway, I also found out that I'm actually a full timer. I thought that I was only working part time. Essentially, it doesn't really matter to me one way or the other, but it certainly feels different for some reason. When I got my first cheque, I felt so proud of myself. It was my first official salary. Before this, I worked with my mom so it didn't feel as good as this does. It was a good feeling back then but this is much better, much bigger. Depositing that cheque, my first official salary, was exhilarating.

Something the doctor said struck me. When my mom told him that I loved my job and that I couldn't wait to get back to work, he said "Yeah, that's how it is at the beginning". That got me thinking. What if this new found love for my job really is temporary? Would I be struggling to get up for work in a few weeks time? What would I do then? Quit? The money isn't the main reason I'm working anyway, so I could quit if I wanted to. But then (as always) my brain had an argument it itself. "Look at your brother," it said, "he's been working there for 2 years straight and he still loves it. So why wouldn't you be the same?". Good question.

After some analysing, I've determined that it all comes down to how I want to feel. If I want to keep feeling the way I do now about my job, that all I have to do is make that choice and it'll be done. Power of positive thinking. It's all in the mind. If my brain tells me to love my job then I undoubtedly will. I'll want to go to work, to see June almost everyday, to meet new guests and to wander around the mall during breaks. It won't get jaded. I won't let it.

Anyway, I can't seem to fall asleep now. I think it's because I slept too much in the day time. Now, my body isn't tired enough to sleep. I'm an insomniac for the day! Well, at least I have time to figure out what to wear tomorrow. I'm thinking of wearing a skirt. But then again, I'm on the closing shift so maybe a skirt may not be such a good idea. Slacks then, with a nice blouse. Yup, that sounds good :)

Oops! Mom's asking me to go to bed. I guess I should. So, see you next time on 'Life With Kathy!'