It felt nice, coming home to him everyday after school. The emptiness at home just disappeared. We were all so excited. We bought him a dog bowl, and tennis balls to play with. He was also very attached to us. Whenever one person got up to go to the kitchen or the bathroom, he'd follow us. There was once, he slept at the foot of my brothers bed and even checked a few times to make sure we were all still there. Unfortunately, the gate was accidentally left open on Friday and he ran out. Since he's still so young and unfamiliar with the neighbourhood, he couldn't find his way back. Now, the house is empty again, even more so than before (if that's possible).
As for school, there are good days and bad days and then there are normal days. Bad days are when I wake up feeling like nothing can bring me down until I start thinking about things I'd rather be doing instead of going to school. An example of a bad day; 3 periods of Business Studies back to back is just too much. I checked out at the end of the second period. The last 40 minutes I spent scribbling nonsense in my book. I just couldn't get my self to concentrate. In a way, I'm glad that I dropped Economics because the next day, there's going to be 4 periods of it back to back. What evil is this?? (If you know me, you'll know that I'm usually optimistic. So, you see how I tend to brood on a bad day? So not me, not completely anyway). Bad days are regular.
Good days, they're great but also very rare. I wake up feeling like nothing can bring me down, not even extremely boring subject taught by extremely boring teachers. This is when I usually see everything as either comical or hopeful. Nothing can bring me down. You give me a situation where things seem impossible, I'll show you how it can be done. On days like these, my mind becomes clearer than ever, my heart is light and feel only peace and gratitude for all I have.
Normal days are unbearable because I feel like "this is who I am, who I will be for the rest of my life", and being me, that's hard to accept. I don't want to be where I am now (literally and metaphorically) for the rest of my life. I want to do things, explore, experience, experiment, enjoy the world, every part of the world. Normal days are dreadful because I feel so normal to the point that I don't know if I can ever be better. Even the thought of being ordinary forever gives me respiratory stress. I feel my heart clench and my throat dry up. My stomach churns at the possibility. I can't stay in one place and do the same things over and over. I'll die (metaphorically) of boredom. I'm not built like that.
That's why I've come up with a list. I'm writing down things I'd like to do over the course of my life. I'll keep adding and editing when ever something comes to mind. I want to do the things I've listed down and I will make sure I manage it before I die. Some of it may sound impossible but it's not. I can do some of it this year. There are some things I'm going to need time to figure out and some I just need to save money for. Again, being me, some of the things on my list are quite bizarre (too strong a word, weird is better I think) if you're not me but I just want to do it because I want to experience the emotions. I know it sounds odd, but that's a big part of the reason I want to explore the world. To feel emotions I wouldn't be able to if I were doing something else, something normal. (I don't know if anyone understood my rambling, but good luck to you :)
Moving on to my brother from another mother, Dillon Li. He's such an adorable baby! To easy for my dad, in my opinion (he needs a tough baby, it's what he deserves). Dillon is not as round as before and he's much more comfortable with strangers (sad to say, I consider myself a stranger to him because I rarely see him =( ). His eyes are big and almond-shaped and he has Fernandez-eyelashes like his father, brother and myself. He's also fond of making monkey sounds. When ever someone talks to him or reads to him, he replies with, "oo, oo, oo". Gosh, I love him!
So those big eyes and Fernandez-eyelashes?
Such a cute baby!
I love his hair too :)
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