I Am Sam

I am Sam is a movie about a developmentally challenged father raising his 7 year old daughter. Sam Dawson (Sean Penn) had the mental capacity of a 7 year old and he has been raising his daughter, Lucy (Dakota Fanning) all on his own. Sam is a nice guy who tries very hard and learns. He has a huge capacity for love. You cry, he hugs you. Lucy is small and bright and full of love. No matter how terrible it seemed, she always loves her father and she didn’t want anyone else.

One day, Sam was approached by a prostitute and because he didn’t know better, Sam almost went with her. A policeman saw them and took Sam to the police station. They knew it wasn’t his fault, so they let him go. However, there was a Social Services officer at the station. After seeing Sam, she thought something should be done because he seemed incapable of raising a child.

On the day of Lucy’s 7^th birthday, Sam decided to throw a surprise party for her. Sadly, the officer came to took her away. There was some drama. The judge then ruled that Sam gets visiting rights, twice a week.

Sam, then, found himself a lawyer who drove herself into a corner and had no choice but to work for him pro bono. They try to come up with a witness list that can help Sam out. These witnesses included Sam’s best friends who are similarly challenged and some other people that can help.

All the while, Lucy was placed under foster care. She didn’t like it at all, obviously. Sam and his lawyer, they tried so hard. All he wanted was to give her love. He just wanted his child and she wanted her father. This whole movie is very raw and basic. It’s about love and friendship. That’s it, nothing else. It’s not clouded with anything else.

There is one part when the opposition attorney, Mr. Turner (Richard Schiff who played Toby in The West Wing [mama will appreciate that]) asked Sam if he thinks he can raise Lucy. Sam quoted a Beatles song; Paul McCartney wrote the first verse and handed it over to John Lennon to write the rest. Lennon wrote, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” That’s what you need, Sam said. That’s what you need.

Also, Mr. Turner asked Sam if he could provide Lucy with everything she needs as she grows up. Sam said no, he couldn’t give Lucy everything. He wants to but can’t. It’s important that I mention now just how stressed Sam was feeling by this time. He was being bombarded with questions from this almost hostile lawyer and Sam felt overwhelmed. He was afraid and overwhelmed.

I think Mr. Turner was trying to prove that Sam, who had the capacity of a 7 year old, was incapable of raising a child. He was trying to prove that she could get everything she needed, somewhere else.

Here’s what I think: Sam was right. He cannot give Lucy everything she needs. But then again, no one can. No one can give their child the best school, the best toys, the best food the best care and the best everything else, all at the same time. It’s impossible. Every parent wants that for their child but they just can’t do it. They can try but it’s unlikely that they can give everything. And Sam is just like every other parent, in that aspect. Are you telling me you’re going to drag all the other families to court too on these ground?

Anyway, Sam reached a point where he almost gave up. Lucy seemed ok with her foster family and he felt hopeless. But his lawyer, Rita Williams (Michele Pfieffer) got his hopes up. She helped him get a job he can enjoy (dog walker). Things started to look fine, until the foster family decided to try and adopt Lucy.

Sam decided to move closer to Lucy because he missed her and also taking the bus really wasted a lot of time. So, he bought an apartment nearby. Lucy found out about this while selling Girl Scout Cookies in the neighbourhood and started sneaking out of her room. She would walk to her father’s apartment. Sam, surprised as he was, didn’t keep her. He didn’t let her stay there nor did he take her away some place far. Instead, he took her back to her foster family. This became some sort of a routine until the family decided to fix bars on Lucy’s windows (nice ones).

Her foster mother told her that she only had to ask if she wanted to see her father. Any time, any day, she could see her father. They would take her.

The foster family wanted to prove to the court that they could provide her with the kind of love that she has never had before. They change their minds, however, when they see just how much Lucy and Sam love each other. They see just how much they need each other to survive. Lucy already has that kind of love and nothing can replace it.

This movie didn’t exactly get very great reviews but I think it’s a great movie. Yes, it’s kind of sappy and predictable but it’s a happy ending that we all want to see. Also, some people say this movie is  "Undone by its best intentions, I Am Sam is an especially insipid example of the Hollywood message movie.” I think it is, but I also think that there’s nothing wrong with that. I love message movies. They’re great.

I cried so much during this movie. Tears rolled down my cheeks when I watched ‘I’m Not Stupid 2’ and ‘Pay It Forward’. But this time, this time I actually cried. By cried, I mean sobs: real sobs and tears and heaving of breath. I was a mess!

This movie, the actors and the ‘predictable’ storyline was all well choreographed. I loved it. I cried throughout almost the entire movie. The entire movie!

Scenes I cried at the most:

• Sam was reading a book to Lucy, something her teacher gave her. He was having difficulty with some words. Lucy ended up saying she didn’t want to listen to that story and asked Sam to read his favourite book instead, Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss

• Sam learns that Lucy is holding herself back in school because she doesn’t want to be intellectually superior to her father. He gets her to read that hard book. She stops at the word ‘difficult’ (the same word he has trouble with) and pretended not to know it. He then said to her, “I’m your father and I'm telling you to read the word.” He knew he had to push her and eventually, she read it to him. “I like to hear you read. It's makes me happy to hear you read.”

• In the cafeteria, Sam wanted to pay for lunch. His lawyer tried to say no. She said he didn’t have to. She said he didn’t have to pay for lunch just to seem more grown up. He became understandably upset. He told her that she thought they thought (they being the Child and Family Services). She tried to say that what she thought didn’t matter in court but Sam said it mattered to him

• Sam and Lucy in the bus. Lucy conned the social service officer and her father too. She took him on a bus ride and they stayed on the bus and then got down at a park far away. Just the two of them.

• When Sam took the stand.

• When Sam had given up. He stayed in his old apartment, making origami. Rita shows up and tires to talk to him. Sam says that she doesn’t know what it’s like to keep trying and trying and trying and never get there. She was born perfect but he was born like that. People like her didn’t know what it’s like to be hurt. Boy, did she give him a wake up call. She said he wasn’t the only one. People like her feel lost and small and ugly and dispensable. People like her have a son who hates her (not really la, just not a good relationship). She cried and he hugged her.

• When Sam and Lucy were hugging and the officers had to pull them apart.

Sean Penn played his part very well and so did the young Dakota Fanning. She received many awards for her role in this movie. This movie was great. I would watch it again and again.

p.s: I actually wrote this out on Microsoft Word. A whole different thing. But my computer decided to restart itself without my permission just before I clicked the save button. Also, the Autorecovery thing doesn't seem to be working. So, I had to rewrite this from scratch. I don't like this version as much as I liked the first. Sadly, I can't get it back. This will have to do. It was hard to rewrite this, especially when my head was throbbing with anger. Seriously, I just want to stab this PC. I'm trying to concentrate here, HELLO!

:)

Wolves, Princesses and cute Boys!

Sunday:

So, I've obviously been AWOL these past few days. I've actually just been very lazy. I log in to Blogger and end up logging out again because the thought of typing out the words in my head seemed pretty dull work at the time. It still kind of is - mainly because I don't really have anything to rant about. Or, I do, but it's all little stuff that's scrunched up together which requires a certain amount of energy to untangle. 

And yet, here I am, typing. I do this, oddly enough, not when I'm physically fit but when my left arm is screaming out for repose.

Ok. Change of plans. I have to sleep now, so my brother keeps telling me. Continued later.

***

Tuesday:

Hello. I must be some weirdo. I'm supposed to be working, and I thought that since the WIFI connection is down, I might actually move a little faster. Boy, could I be any more wrong. I got the broadband out. :)

Ok, so here's the scoop. My left arm was protesting on Sunday because on Saturday, I carried Dillon around a lot. He's 2 and he's a lot smaller than me but man is he heavy! Or maybe I'm just not fit? A little of both I think.

On Saturday, we were all supposed to go to Port Klang to see the Lugos ship. The Dulos' sister or something. But, big brother had a futsal tournament and we ended up going for that instead. Dillon was so excited. I can see the resemblance between my two brothers very clearly now. If I let Dillon down, he'd run right into the court! He wanted to join then but they're big buffaloes playing a friendly match. They take their futsal very seriously.

So, I had to hold on to Dillon the entire time. And every few seconds, he'd go, "Where's kohkoh?" (which means brother in Chinese, although the spelling might be wrong.) Once, big brother got out of the game because he was really tired, and he couldn't breathe properly. Dillon's attention was totally off the game. He only had eyes for his brother who he knew wasn't ok. So then, I had to carry Dillon to our brother.

So, so cute!

We ended up not going to the ship because by the time the match was over, Dillon was beat. So, they headed back and we did too.

Which then takes me backwards to Thursday. THE BIG BAD WOLF BOOK SALE!

The best book sale ever! Since I won the preview pass (picture above), mum and I got to go a day earlier. Us and another few hundred or so people. But that didn't matter at all because the hall was ENORMOUS and it felt like no one was there.

Anyway, mum and I bought many a book. I completed my Princess Diaries set, found Artemis Fowl: The Atlantic Complex and a few other good looking books. Mama bought quite a few romance novels and we we grabbed tons of recipe books! We even bought a Jamie Oliver Christmas Special Food Magazine. Sweet:)

We spent almost 2 hours in there and we could have spent more time but we didn't want to hurt out wallets too much. So, hard as it was, we dragged ourselves to the cashier and paid for our loot. Only RM200+ for about 30 books. Magical! We kinda took the extremely long way home but it was worth it.

I went to the sale again yesterday! This time, I took Nadiah, Claudine and Maria with me. We went in the evening so there wasn't much of a crowd. We didn't even have to line up to go in. We did get lost on the way though. I took the wrong turning so we ended up on the wrong side of the road from the MARDI entrance. I took one big round and started again. We made it there after 2 hours. *Phew*

The sale was still worth it though. They added more books. I was looking for the fourth Princess Diaries book (apparently I missed that ): ) But I couldn't find it. Nor did I find the Ultimate Cake book mama wanted or her novel. I did find some awesome Princess Diaries extras though. The are 10 books in the series and a few smaller books in between. Found two so far, and I'm going to start looking for the rest! Also, I found a great present for MeshPot:)

Oh, another big news, KINDLE has ARRIVED! I have my own Kindle now! IT'S ALL MINE! muahahahaha! :)

Can't wait to get started! All these books to read, and only 2 months till the end of my school life, it's stoked! :)

Okok, I have to get back to work now. Earn me some $$ :)

*Starstruck*

I have not learnt how to describe the sensation of your insides sighing and swooning. But that's how I felt today and still feeling right now!

Today was a great day. I haven't felt like this in such a long time. In fact, I can't remember when I last had this feeling at all.

School was great. Today was our last day before an 11 day break (because of PMR). Everyone had a ball of a good time. Our P.A teacher was missing in action, which meant 2 free periods. Also, we got our Econs marks back and I didn't do too bad. My CGPA isn't all that good but I feel improvement coming my way:)

Also, I found out that I won 2 media passes to the biggest, baddest book sale in Malaysia! The Big Bad Wolf Books Sale is opened to me and a few lucky others, one day earlier! :) I am pumped!

After school, my brother and I headed to the mall where he works. It was his off day so we hung out. That in itself was awesome because I really miss him! Anyway, we had something to eat and then we headed to the cinema, planning to watch a movie. However, there was nothing nice on. So that's the plan scuppered.

Anyway, on our way out, guess who I saw? Yusuf Amin! Some of you are probably wondering who this Yususf Amin person is. Well, let me fill you in. Yusuf Amin is part of the T4YP Alumni. T4YP stands for Theatre for Young People. It's a Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre (KLPAC) thing. Yusuf joined the ensemble last year, with Dinesh. I first saw him in Twelfth Night as Orsino, Duke of Illyria. I remember thinking how great he was. The only other play I've seen him in is their latest T4YP production, Much Ado About Nothing. This time, Yusuf was in the alumni. He played Claudio. Again, amazing. He's has this presence about him.

I saw Yusuf Amin sitting in a restaurant, using his laptop. At first I didn't know if it really was him, but then I kept right on looking and, I think he sensed the power of my gaze because he suddenly turned his face towards me. I knew right then it was him. Also, my reflex action was to look away, which I did, after that split second recognition. That was starstruck moment number one.

Here comes starstruck moment number 2.

When we got home, I immediately went online, as usual. I checked my twitter account and I saw that someone replied to one of my tweets. It was none other than Nick Dorian himself! Wow! Two KLPAC encounters in one day? Phew!

Nick Dorian joined T4YP in 2009, but I first saw him in Twelfth Night too. He was Feste, the clown. And in Much Ado About Nothing, he played the part of Benedict. Nick Dorian has a really nice singing voice. It's beautiful! I just loved the part when he sang in those plays.

So, after watching Much Ado About Nothing, I tweeted about it, tagging T4YP. Nick Dorian replied to that tweet. My tweet! Then I replied to that which he then replied to. This went on for a few more tweets. I had a mini conversation with Nick Dorian! To me, this is akin to talking to Orlando Bloom. I was, honestly just so excited and in disbelief. Me, he replied to me! Just some random girl who saw him in a play. Wow! I felt so starstruck.

Awesome Possum man!

Those two encounters were amazing. Seeing one actor in real life, and having a conversation with another via twitter. No, they're not Hans Isaac or Siti Nurhaliza famous but I'd take KLPAC actors over the other kind anytime. They're stars to me.

I know, I shouldn't be so excited seeing as one of my classmates in an actor at KLPAC but this is just, argh! I know Dinesh, but I don't know Nick Dorian or Yusuf Amin. It's just different.

Anyway, because of the days events, I am on cloud nine. Nothing has brought me down, and nothing will. Not today at least:)

HAPPY!!!!!!!

Sad Case :(

Aww man :(
I don't know what's going to happen. My results are out, some of them. No improvement on PA. None at all. I got the same marks as in the previous exam. I really have to work on my essays :(

As for BM, it got worse. My essay was terrible! I thought I did good. I really did. I don't know how I went wrong.  I was really counting on this to be one of my better subjects. I feel like I failed. I'm angry about it :(

Micro wasn' too good either but I didn't expect any better. So, no surprise there. I'm working on it but at the same time I know that it won't be all that right now. As for Macro, I did quite OK for paper 1 which is great. I hope paper 2 is just as good.

This is terrible. Hmm...
Just needed to get that out.
:(

Facebook's Facelifts

I have to rant about Facebook. Just to make myself feel better.

Mark Zuckerberg is a genius, what with creating Facebook and all, but he seriously needs to relax. Facebook is getting too much plastic surgery for one who is only 7 years old. It's had, oh I don't know, 4 to 5 facelifts now. That's just too much, even for an adult.

OK folks, seriously, Facebook is changing too much. Yes, change is good. Esther Dyson (whoever she is) said, "Change means that what was before wasn't perfect. People want things to be better," and she's right. In fact, change is vital for the survival of any social network in this ever changing, ever growing world of cyber space, but, c'mon, don't you think changing the layout 3 times in about as many months is just too much change? (Notice how many times I used the word 'change' or some form of it? It's a literary device called alliteration, or some form of it la) ("La." That's another one, it's called using colloquialisms).

I created my own Facebook profile about 2 years ago. I was super excited. Here was a new social networking site that I could enter in without lying about my age and reconnect with people who I went to kindergarden with. It was a cyber space miracle, an entity of major proportions.

It was great, and it still is. More and more people started using Facebook and I began to climb the all-new social ladder of "who's got more 'friends'". There were games that I could waste my time on like Farmville and arcade-type games my mother is still addicted to. I can just log in (using my ultra childish and embarrassing, but secretly cool, email that my mother created for me when I was 11) and I'm instantly connected to the rest of the world! Everything I post, like pictures and status updates, are out there for the world to see. Now, even creepy, anti social, stalker-type, cyber punks half-way around the world will know that the chocolate I just had was "sooooo goood!!!!!!!." It's every parent's nightmare.

Anyway, Mr. Zuckerberg, then, introduced new security settings. Great, just what the police ordered. Now, I can make sure that only my friends are informed about the astounding goodness of the chocolate I just had. That's pretty harmless. The most they would do is come knocking on my door, demanding for a piece of that awesome chocolate. But, we're veering of course here. The more secure settings were an awesome addition. Parents, now, didn't have to worry too much. Everyone felt more protected and cyber space was a safer place.

However, the change kept on coming. Our 'walls', then, received a new design. The layout was different. Not exactly better but we got used to it and everyone survived, almost unscathed. You would have thought they were smart enough to stop there after getting dozens of messages about how terrible the new design was but we'd put up with it anyway because the service was invaluable (much more valuable than MySpace or Friendster, at any rate). But no, they didn't. They went on to adding groups, where people can share information with just a select group. Also, lists, where.. I don't exactly know what for. They even changed the chat box. It was now sleek and inadvertently connected to your message inbox (I still don't understand that). There were now dozens of notifications to be dealt with and more privacy settings to be readjusted. Everything every one does, every 'like', every 'comment', every friend made and every game played was plastered on your wall. It gives a whole new meaning to "Spam." Whenever I log in, which is quite frequently, I'm greeted by a mountain-high pile (cyber-ly speaking) of notifications and "recent news".

Now, do I really have time to scroll through 300+ recent news updates from people I rarely talk to? Well, yes, I do. And so, I sit there on my terribly comfortable, plastic-on-wheels, Ikea chair, looking through what everyone had been doing since I last logged off. If that doesn't already sound stalker-ish, then keep reading. If it does, well, keep reading la! :)

After going through those updates, I'm now pressured by society to post something of my own. Being me, I ignore that pressure and keep doing what I do; keep cyber silence and post what I wish, when I wish it. After all these major upgrades, I thought that Mr. Zuckerberg and his team of technical geniuses would take a break. Maybe go on a year long tour of the Amazon Jungle or something (I'm sure they could afford it).

Once again, I'm wrong. Those technophiles (new word I learnt) kept right on rollin'. Now, after a graceful few months of allowing the general public to, finally, get used to this new 'Face' of Facebook, we are awarded with another big bang. A facelift! This time, we can 'subscribe' to people. It's not enough that we can 'Like' various things such as TV shows, movies, jokes, phrases and even celebrities, now, we can also subscribe to people. I pity the famous. They don't stand a chance against this.

With this new subscription scheme, comes a little box on the top right corner of your screen. This box's sole duty is to give you a constant stream of updates depending on whom and what you are subscribed to. For example, I can subscribe to be constantly updated on friends' life activities, games they play, statuses, photos and videos. Who needs a wall with news feeds when I have this. One of my friend very bluntly posted this on her page, "Facebook, Stalking you always." Apt, exceedingly so, if you ask me. (And still, we stick to Facebook with every ounce of binary strength that we possess because, to be honest, it's totally useful. Also, we're all secretly dependent on this whole being-connected thing)

I understand the need for Facebook to be current and sophisticated. It's competing in a global market of social networking sites. It can fall just as quickly as it took down MySpace. What I don't get is this: Facebook was initially invented to connect people from a university with their families, via the internet. It started off on the right track. Connecting people and bringing old friends together is what it does. Now, however, everyone is turned into a cyber-stalker, whether you like it or not. Your privacy is no longer completely in your hands. You can opt not to subscribe to someone's every move, but you cannot opt to stop people from subscribing to you. That's a whole lot of privacy violations right there. It's like people have placed CCTV's in your room, without your permission.

Change is good, but there is a line. There is always a line. It cannot be crossed. The line will gradually move farther away, in which case, more change is required. This weird too-closely-timed change notwithstanding, I think Mark Zuckerberg and his team have done quite well. What they need to learn is that "All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward." So says Ms. Ellen Glasgow (whoever she is)

Time for a KitKat, guys. A hiatus might be in order. Why not give us some time to get acquainted and maybe even comfortable with this new "Face" before going under the knife again.

****

I did some research:

Esther Dyson - A 60 year old Swiss journalist, entrepreneur, and philanthropist.

Ellen Glasgow - Pulitzer Prize-winning American novelist who lived till 72 years of age, telling the story of the changing south.

A Car Is Like A Dog

Sometimes it's easy. I just slip into the driver's seat, turn the key and ease my way on. Everything works to my touch. The gear, the steering wheel, even the power windows. They're all compliant, fight-less, trusting. I can go anywhere. My wish is its command. I glide on smoothly - as smoothe as I can on a road plastered with pot holes. I feel like I'm in control, because I am.

And then there are times when this timid creature decides to play the raging beast. It fights me every step of the way. My every touch is no longer what it was. It's, now, always too.. something. Either too much or too little. I'm too hard on the brakes, too light on the oil, too abrupt on the wheel. Every turn I take is rough and every straight road journey I venture on is brimming with the inefficiency of the use of brakes, signal lights and gears, no matter how much effort I put into not wasting the 700 ringgit and countless hours spent at the driving school. It's like the I'm being told that I'm not worthy of it. Not worthy to control this astounding and most useful piece of invention.

Cars are temperamental machineries. They require a lot of care and attention. Regular servicing is what keeps it in tune; but that's not enough. You need to love you car. It's like a dog. It can feel when you're nervous or angry. And so, it doesn't always respond the way you want it too. Here's where we go wrong: it's not the car's fault, it's the driver's. When you don't give your car just the right amount of push, one way or another, you'll end up with a reputation of terrible driving.

Anyway, love your car!

Yoga vs Gym and What's next..

So, it's a debate. Should I start yoga classes, or should I get a gym membership?

Yoga:
It's calming and peaceful. There's little running or weightlifting involved, which is appealing to me. Yoga seems very.. me. I like the concept and I think it's a great way for me to learn to shut down my brain and just relax. However, it might get boring after a while and I don't know much about yoga. I can learn, yes, but I don't think I'm the 'focus-your-energy-to-your-centre-of-gravity' kind of person.Quiet, yes, but not that.

Gym:
Running, weightlifting and a whole lot of sweating. I might just give up after two tries! And then there's this: I can go when I'm free, but will I ever? However, I can do a whole lot of things at a gym. I can choose to exercise or join classes. Di samping it, My main aim is to get fit, build up some strength so I can do all the things I've wanted, like climbing Mt.Kinabalu. Also, it's easier to find a gym. Hmm..

And the conclusion is...!

GYM!

Now, the next question.. Which one?
Celebrity Fitness vs Fitness First

Celebrity Fitness:
They have a lot of dance classes and yoga. Variety is good. I can try out different things and see what fits. It's more aerobic, kind of what celebrities goes for, obviously. They're all glamorous and what not. It seems ok. They have personal trainers I can ask for advice from. There's a branch in Subang Parade, which is near. There's also a 7-day free trial I can apply for.
Price: TBC

Fitness First:
They have classes too but mostly exercising stuff like combat and cycling. They seem to be more fitness oriented and less glam (which is fine with me). Also, it seems like a place I can just keep to myself. I can just go there, exercise for an hour then go home. They have an assessment thing so I can figure out what kind of 'fitness programme' (their words) I need. There's a 7-day free trial here too. There's a branch in Asia Jaya (nearby, so I can go after school) and one in Summit and another in Empire (near home.. or as near as can be)
Price: TBC

Now, some phone calls have to be made. Also, some financial assessments. We'll see how it goes.

This Loop-D-Loop Brain of Mine

You see, the world is a crazy place. Or maybe I'm the one who is crazy. Well, either way, there's a whole lot of craziness going around here. I've heard songs about the world and it's insanity as well and many different variations of stories and poems. No one can deny it. If they do, they're blind and if they don't, then hey, they must be nuts!

I don't seem to connect (with people, I mean) and I don't want to either. I'm quite content with being the girl sitting in the corner, alone and away from the crowd; preferring to observe rather than participate. This, then, brings my thoughts around to that Paramore song which says,'and up until now I had sworn to myself that I was content with loneliness'. I think the song is called 'The Only Exception'. Well, my version would be the same, minus 'up until now', because I still feel that way. I really am happy. Well, sometimes being alone can be a little lonely but, hey, I'm content after all. So, what's there to complain about. I like being in my own little world. Sure, I have friends and family, all of whom are always there for me no matter what. Sometimes, I just feel like, even though they're around, they're not really around.

Maybe, maybe I just haven't found the right people to hang out with. Don't get me wrong, I think I've come pretty close to perfect with a few of the people around me. I love hanging out with my mum, cooking and shopping and just plain annoying her sometimes. And I also love time spent with Nad and Mina and a few other friends and family, but I hear myself call our for some alone time a lot. Especially when I'm surrounded by people I know but am not close to. You know, acquaintances, people you see in church or at a gathering.

I just don't jive with them (I do not think that was a proper use of the word 'jive'). For example, I cannot, try as hard as I might, to bring myself to understand young, materialistic and girly (maybe I could understand young it if wasn't coupled with the other two). I'm sure that's not all they are but this surface thing really puts me off. I cannot just say 'Hi', then spend the next 20 minutes pretending to care where you got your lip gloss from or who you're dating right now, because truth is, I really don't. I like people who can just stand silently and comfortably beside me, with no need of saying anything at all. There's just so few of them in the world. Most people are so uncomfortable with the silence they dub as awkward that I get all jittery just standing next to them. HELLO! Silence is not awkward if you just embrace it!

So, here I am, being content with loneliness. I do not have a problem with that at all because I know exactly (in a way) where I'll be a year from now and the thought of that - being in a new place, surrounded by new people - gets me thinking that I'm not losing anything at all. I'd probably lose contact with all these acquaintances anyway, so why bother even taking the effort to turn acquaintances into friends?

But then again, and this is my brain doing its usually loop-d-loop, maybe its the friendships we benefit from; the company and experiences that shape us. That and the goodbyes. I know, I may not know how I know but I know, that without those experiences, I'd be a completely different person. I wouldn't know myself at all. This journey, this convergence of roads between friends (acquaintances' roads do not converge, they merely run parallel to each other quite closely for a while) is what changes our course, much more effectively than an acquaintance's.