Friday, June 8, 2012

Need some oomph!~

I seem to yell at my brother very often. Not out of anger, just annoyance. He brings that out in me, somehow. I don't know how or why but he does this to me effortlessly. And I guess I should add that I usually feel guilty afterwards.

It's not like we fight often. I just get annoyed with him, which leads to me yelling at him and him ignoring me on purpose. After that, we're good. Weird.

Anyway, I'm in the middle of trying to figure out what to do for tonight's youth gathering. I volunteered to organise this week's session but I have no idea what to do. My initial idea was to have an arts and crafts session. We have tons of plain white mugs at home so I wanted to buy some paint markers so we could decorate the mugs tonight. But then, I learnt that paint markers won't stick unless we glaze the mugs after. So, that's not happening.

Consequently, I've spent the last 2 hours trying to come up with something else. I've been sifting through various Google searches and so far, no real luck. I did find one or two activities that I like but they're not.. I don't know. Not enough 'oomph!', you know?

I want something fun. The one's I've found aren't bad but they lack any actual physical activity. I want us to DO something together instead of just sitting in a circle and having stimulating discussions. That's good too but sometimes we just need to let loose. We've been kind of stuck in the mud lately and so I wanted something good enough for us to get unstuck.

I'm quickly running out of time. o.O


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

This Is Why...

1. ...I refused. Today, I had an actual conversation with someone whom I usually just talk to (there is a difference but I'm not going to get into that right now).

Anyway, this conversation started up because of Glee. Apparently, he disapproves of that show. He says that it's wrong because it promotes homosexuality. First, Glee doesn't promote homosexuality, it promotes the acceptance of homosexuals and every other individual. 

Next, yes, the Bible says homosexuality is wrong. The Bible says that God says that man is to be united with women. Not man and man, nor woman and woman but man and women. That is how the world works, biologically and religiously. 

However, the Bible also says that God asked us to "Love one another as I have loved you". Now, I don't see a condition attached to that particular commandment (us Catholics call it the '11th' commandment). God loves all his children equally so, who are we to pick and choose who we accept and reject? God didn't say, "You there, you are lesbian. You shall not live in my kingdom. Begone!" That's not God, and so we shouldn't be that either.

Then there's this argument: "Well, if someone was a murderer, would you accept them for who they are?".
Here's my answer: It's not the same. Apples and oranges, bro. Being homosexual doesn't harm anyone around you, does it? Case closed.

I don't understand how there are people in this world who point blank refuse to accept other human beings just because of their sexuality. I do not understand and I do not want to understand either. 

Yes, I'm talking about understanding others and accepting them for who they are so my reaction is hypocritical. But here's the thing, I'm not going to shun anyone who carries a different opinion. I'm not going to burn bridges or end friendships or start a war because others have a different take on things. I'm just refusing to agree. This is just me, telling the world that I do not understand how they can treat fellow human beings differently based on sexuality and that I do not want to understand either because I think their opinions are a disgrace to the human race.

This really is one of the deal breakers for me when it comes to relationships (not that I have any experience). I cannot commit to being in a relationship with someone who thinks being gay earns you a one way ticket to hell. Sorry, I just can't.

And especially after coming back from Europe, I stand by this even stronger than before. No one, not one person on this planet can tell me that people as awesome as Malik and Paul, with all the good they do in this world, are doomed because they are gay. Sorry, but I refuse to accept.

***

2. ...my purse feels lighter. I tell you, there is a  parking situation building up here in the Klang Valley that is threatening to relieve every wallet of it's contents! I smell a rat!

Here's the deal, parking at Amcorp Mall is ridiculously expensive now! Like, mega cekik duit going on there! It used to be RM4 for the first 2 hours of parking and RM1 for ever subsequent hour. Now, however, it's gone up to RM5 for the first hour and RM4 for every subsequent hour. What utter rubbish!

Even Sunway Pyramid is cheaper! (No offence la Amcorp, but what do you have other than the amazing BookXcess? At least Pyramid has a bowling alley and a cinema. They even have Archery!). In Sunway, on weekdays, it's RM1 for the first 3 hours. 

I spent only 1.5 hours in Amcorp last week and had to fork out RM9 ringgit for parking fees. If I had known, I would've taken my business somewhere else. Today, I only spent RM1 for 2.5 hours of parking in Sunway Pyramid.

This is daylight robbery. Seriously, just because you installed new auto pay machines doesn't mean you can now charge a stupendous sum for parking. What nonsense.

***

p.s: My previous post was rubbish. Seriously, I should've worded it better or just not posted it at all. It sounds childish and unwitty. I didn't like it at all. I shall not remove it, though. I'm leaving it up as a reminder to myself: Never, ever post rubbish, Kath! :)

Monday, June 4, 2012

Dear Mother Nature, CC: GOD

After facing the cold for 24 days in Europe, coming back to the Malaysian summer is really hard to handle. Before this, Malaysian summer was hot but this is just bordering on unbearable. I'm literally melting everyday. I go to sleep melting, and I wake up melted.

I think it's safe to say that I've melted off what little fat I had left on my body. This is just too much la. All it took was 24 days in 7-8˚C weather for my body to reject heat. Really? C'mon, body, you've lived in Malaysia your whole life. You can do this!

On top of everything, one of the fans in the hall decided to malfunction today. Not just any fan, but the one nearest to the PC. This is some sort of punishment. I bet it is. I mean, this is like some major heatwave la. Ok, maybe not the fatal kind, but still, it's terrible enough to warrant a complaint.

So this is my official complaint:

TO: earthcare@mothernature.org
CC: info@GOD.org


Dear Mother Nature,


I'm Kathleen Fernandez from Malaysia, Earth. I'm writing to you today to lodge a complaint on the current weather conditions here in Asia, specifically, Malaysia.


The weather has been incredibly hot these past few days. I use the term 'incredibly' very loosely here for I can't seem to find a big enough word to express the current state of hotness. It's verging on the unbearable.


The plants all around are screaming for water (according to Klausner, who has the sound machine that enables humans to listen to plants). According to Klausner, the plants are dehydrating. They are losing their leaves due to a lack of water for transpiration and photosynthesis.


Also, animals are running around panicked because of the scarce natural water supply. Cats and dogs are secretly invading households and while some humans do relent and allow them to drink from their pails, not all humans are that kind. Therefore, the animals are suffering.


As for the humans, we are melting in this heat. While it does wonders in burning off fats (especially for those who find it hard to exercise), the heat is also making us sweat a whole lot more causing a massive dehydration pandemic.


We require your assistance, Mother Earth. Please, send us some rain. We need the showers. We need some cooling off.


Please and Thank You,
Your human,
Kathleen.


p.s: I CC'ed this to GOD. Maybe you can work something out with Him?

Friday, June 1, 2012

Scary, ain't it??

Unsettled. I guess that's the word I'd choose to describe what I'm feeling at the moment.

But why, though?

Today, I booked a ticket to Australia. I'm going in July with my Aunty. I'm only staying for 2 weeks but it's an awesome opportunity. I've never been to the land down under, so I'm excited. However, I feel unsettled. I don't think it's the trip, though.

There's a lot going on in these few coming months. The Youth Rally is in August which means organising it has already started. There's stuff to be done. I guess, maybe I'm worried that I'm pushing aside my responsibility. Am I doing that? I don't think so. I mean, I'm not the only one involved in this. I have a whole team of people who are working hard with me to get this thing going. So, I think 2 weeks away won't be such a bad thing. I just feel.. I don't know.. guilty, maybe?

This is all too confusing.

And then there's the whole University thing. I've been thinking about it the whole day. I've been going back and forth on this, listing and re-listing the pros and cons of each decision. Both sides present a very convincing argument. It's just that, the voices in my head can't seem to come to a conclusion and so, I'm feeling unsettled.

Is it supposed to be this hard? No, not hard. Just... confusing. No... complex. Yeah, that's it. Complex. Is it supposed to be this complex? Choosing a university, I mean. I guess it should, right? Because this is one of those big life decisions. A moment in your life when the decision you make will carve out the path you take. Right?

I think part of this 'unsettled-ness' is also nerves. I'm pretty nervous about this whole affair. I mean, all this 'moving forward' and 'growing up' thing can be quite scary. I've always felt safe at school. Probably because I knew what I had coming. I knew what school had to offer. I knew about extra curricular activities. I knew about sports and homework. I knew that it all led to public examinations.

But now, I don't know. I have no idea what University is going to be like. I have no idea what my extra curricular activities are going to be. On top of all that, I have no idea what-so-ever on how modular educational system works! My whole life, school has been about studying throughout the year and then scoring well for public exams. Now, my grades are up for scrutiny after each semester. I need to keep them up and stuff. I mean, I know I can do it, but it just scares me.

The unknown. That is man's biggest fear. Mine too.

I need a conversation.

On The Edge...

It's weird how I only get nervous on the day of something big. Even when I was still in school, it was always like that. I would only really feel nervous on the day of public exams or on some big camping trip or whatever. Never the days and months leading up to it and not even on the day before. The nerves usually kicked in on the morning of.

That's sort of what happened today. Mama took me to Sunway University and then to HELP University to find out about the Psychology course they offered. It was a big deal. I mean, I'm finally at this crossroad. I've seen my friends come and go at this junction and now I'm finally here too. It feels pretty exciting but really, really nauseating too (that's probably the nerves though).

We went to Sunway first. Their course structure seems pretty good. They have an intern-ship at the end of the 3rd year too. It seems pretty solid. Also, there's a 50% fee waiver that I'm eligible for in the first semester and if I keep my grades up, it'll be applicable for the following semesters as well, which is pretty awesome.

After all that, we headed to HELP. HELP's more established when it comes to their psychology programmes. Rightly so, since they've been doing it for ten years now. The electives that they offer are pretty interesting too. It's slightly cheaper but once we add the transport money and what not, it'll come up to about the same. One low point is that the only scholarship they can offer is a 10k reduction of the tuition fees which I have to apply for and might not even get.

Right now, I'm on the fence. I really like the campus at Sunway and their course modules aren't all that different from HELPs. However, I do like the fact that HELP lets me choose my electives (most of which are pretty interesting). Travelling and parking is going to be mad there but I don't think that's a deal breaker. So, I think I know where I'm going to go but I do need to talk to someone a little more before I decide.

And then, who knows, I may register next week:)

All this is really exciting. I've never been here before. All this is pretty new for me. I finally get to choose what I want to study. I'm moving into a whole new kind of education. I'm pretty stoked but plenty nervous as well. I hope I make the right choice. This is my life after all. So, the decision that lies before me is a mighty important one. (I sound like this because I just watched Thor. So, I hope you can ignore my Shakespeare-ean English :P)

While we were on the way to HELP, I thought about what I was feeling. It came to me like this: I felt like I was a bird about to take flight. Here I am, standing on the edge of a cliff, all those years of learning how to fly is behind me, and I can't do much but take flight. This, right now, is that few seconds before I jump off that cliff. That moment when my stomach-butterflies decide to go haywire and I'm not sure if I'll survive the jump. But, I know that I have to jump anyway.

That's how I feel. The jump is coming, and I know it. I just don't know how long it'll take me to adjust my wings and start flying, or in fact, if I'll ever fly at all. This is all getting to be really taxing on my mind.

I gotta sleep now because I'm super sleepy. So, hopefully I'll wake up with a clearer sense of direction.
Fare thee well.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Somewhere Between Mammoths and Stock Markets, We Lost Something...

It seems that my brain cells prefer to put in some over time just before it shuts down for the night (leaving only the most essential systems running, of course).  I usually take about 30 minutes to fall asleep on normal nights (which isn't good, if I remember correctly) and in those 30 minutes, I come up with my best, most philosophical, sometimes even bordering on absurd yet quite thought-provoking questions and stuff. That's terrible since I won't remember half of it when I wake up.

Well, don't expect much of that here, though, because my brain is still far from shutting down for the night. Fret not, for at times when I'm fully conscious with no expectations of falling asleep, I do come up with some ridiculous thoughts in a spectacularly messy way :) (meaning, my brain likes jumping around topics like a cartoon Lima bean).

Ok, I was going to write something about social pyramids. Something along the lines of how the huge egos of humans are what created this world that seems to be ruled by social hierarchy. I had an impressive argument, starting off with the Egyptian Pharaohs and stuff but then I got side tracked by a thing or two..

Here's the first: Cameron Mitchell. For those of you who do not know (you unfortunate little beings), he's the amazing guy from The Glee Project. Now, if you have not heard him sing, you have missed something truly beautiful. Trust me, your ears will be grateful. I know mine are:)

My two favourites from him are Blackbird (a Beatles cover) and Lost (an Aqualung cover). This guy has a beautiful voice and the way he sings is just something out of this world. I could listen to him sing all day long. I actually stopped typing when I heard his rendition of Lost, and therefore losing the whole social pyramid train of thought.

Note to self: Do not listen to Cameron Mitchell when writing/typing.


Anyway, I just wanted to express my love of Cameron Mitchell's singing voice.It's makes me go all googly and weak at the knees. Swoon-worthy, for sure.

Now, the next thing that derailed my original thought was this: What is wrong with the world? Specifically, the people in it. I know that this is a very general question which can lead to tons of different debatable answers, so let me narrow it down to what I mean at this moment in time. When did human beings lose our innocence?

Of course, the religious argument would be Adam, Eve and a sneaky snake as well as Cain, Abel, some weird smoke and an axe. I've heard the stories before a dozen times but I'm not dumb and neither are you. The stories of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel are exactly that; stories. They're not real. It's just something the old timers came up with to explain our existence in this world, and of course sin, from a religious point of view (and by 'old timers' I mean those who wrote the book of Genesis).

So, that brings us back to the question. Where did our innocence go? Somewhere along the way, from being  hairy two legged creatures eating raw meat to the cave men that discovered fire and invented the wheel and then becoming the suit wearing, money hungry, power crazed people that we are today, we lost it. The most important part of our humanity got lost in translation while we were busy procreating. This then led to the worst part (to me) of modern history, the Holocaust.

Where, in between killing mammoths as the means of survival and harvesting rubber to fuel the industrial age did we drop our love of life? Not just the love of our own lives but that of others as well? How on Earth did we become these creatures that we are today?

Here's a breakdown of what we have become:
We are simple creatures who spend most of our time trying to earn enough money to get by. We live our entire lives trying to be someone; score well in school to get into a good university which, then, leads to more studying so as to get god grades and a good job. All that because we need to earn money to be able to feed ourselves and provide for our family. We keep reaching for more and when we get that, we reach further because that's all we know. We're explorers, discoverers. We keep going further and further. We want more. We never settle, we don't want to.

That's what we are.

There's good and bad, of course, in what we are today but I do feel like the bad is winning at the moment. We talk about beauty all the time. We talk about how pretty a rose is or how sweet honey tastes. We go on about love like it's the key to heaven on earth. We speak of music and philosophy, of politics and economics, of the beauty of life.

But how many of us truly appreciates these things? Whenever I walked in the tube stations of London, I saw a few specially designated spots for musicians to set up and play. For them to offer some beauty in the dull underground stations.Sadly, no one stopped. Sure, one or two people dropped some change into the musicians waiting guitar case or hat as they passed by but not one person took time off their busy schedules to stop and just listen, even for a second, to the beauty emanating from these musicians. Doesn't this prove that we're missing something? That, in our quest for 'more' and the great unknown, we have lost our sense of life? Our sense of real beauty?

If we can't take time off our days to stop and smell the roses, taste the honey and listen to some simple, original music in a dull subway, I think we're missing a huge part of life itself. Don't you believe that if everyone, and I mean everyone, from the Wall Street broker to the thief down the road, would just pause for a moment each day and realise how much real beauty our world holds, that the world would be a better place? I think so.

I think if everyone would just stop trying to out do each other, this world would be bliss. There would be no Hitler or mighty Pharaohs killing millions of slaves just to build a tomb. There wouldn't be any Pyramids either but I think I could live with that. I think this ideal world is entirely possible.

Here's the hard part; not everyone is going to jump on the bandwagon. Not everyone wants a world of beauty. And so we're stuck on this huge orb, all trying to survive and all looking for the great unknown. That better 'something' that is guaranteed to give us happiness. And while we're doing that, we try not to miss the blooming roses or the buzzing bees.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I miss....

Hello again. I'm back! :)

This post is dedicated to all things I've missed while I was away.

I miss my shower, which I know exactly how to control.
I miss Malaysian ringgits and coins (not the new ones, though).
I miss hearing the Azan, fives times a day.
I miss the desktop at home.
I miss looking at my Harry Potter books everyday.
I miss the Malaysian heat and humidity.
I miss Malaysian food, obviously.
I miss the messiness of my room (although, we weren't exactly the neatest tourists around)
I miss my usual makan shops.
I miss the almost-not-working-anymore glow-in-the-dark stars on my room wall
I miss ceiling fans.
I miss being able to go out any time I want and not get lost.
I miss my slippers.

Those are what I can think of right now. So, yea. What I actually missed the most was just plain ol' Malaysian-ness. I didn't really miss the people because I knew I was coming home. So, I wasn't really upset about that. But I did miss the day to day stuff because a Europe Trip meant no total Malaysian-ness for 24 days straight. I didn't really realise it till I came home but I really missed it here. But now I'm back so no worries:)

Anyway, I actually planned on posting the daily Europe thing. At least once a day... But then I thought that it would be a little hard and not to mention kinda disorganised and messy. Therefore, I've decided to create a separate page for Europe.

If you just look underneath my Blog Title (A Big Bowl of Something), there's a link called 'My European League'. You can see that it's right next to 'My Wish List'. Click that and you'll find yourself on the page on which I'll post Day 1 to Day 24 of Europe. So far, I've posted Days 1-5. Happy Reading:)

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Missing for 10 days, so Here's Day 1:)

Hola! Bonjour!:)

So, as you've noticed, I've been away for quite a while. Well, my Europe trip with Mama and bro is on it's 10th day now. I've been writing down something each day and I've been meaning to post it everyday but sometimes we don't get internet access so, it's quite tough.

I've got everything saved on the laptop but now I'm trying to work out the logistics of posting what I've been writing. I think I'll just post one a day. If I happen to have anything to add, then I'll just do it after my daily thoughts.

For today, I'm supposed to be asleep because we have a long day tomorrow but I can't help it, I finally have the laptop to myself for more than 5 minutes and even thought it's already 1am plus, I just have to take advantage of the wireless connection:)

I've been having a great time, really. It is an amazing journey and I still have 13 days of it. Well, here's Day 1:

24th April

Adrian drove us to the airport. Our flight is at 10.55am, if I'm not mistaken (which I am, and you'll soon find out why). We checked in our bags and headed to Kopitiam for some breakfast. At about 9.30, we decided to head to the boarding area, thinking that we should explore the shops there as well. Luckily we did because as it turns out, our flight is actually at 10.05 not 55! OMG!

We were rushing like mad towards the gates. Thankfully, we didn't miss the flight. That was too much excitement for me, right at the beginning of everything. We hadn't even left Malaysia yet!

Anyway, there's nothing much to report about the flight itself because it was really just the most terrible 12 hours of my life. I was just sitting, couldn't really do anything. I couldn't make myself pay attention to the movies of the songs or even the games. I couldn't focus and I was restless. I couldn't sleep comfortably either. It was really terrible.

The only really good parts were seeing snow capped mountains as we passed Nepal and landing, of course! Clearing immigration was not an issue. The line was quite long but they were working very fast, so no problem.

Once we got out of the airport, we took a bus to Victoria Station and then a coach to Faversham, where Ma's long time friend, Uncle Kumar, picked us up in his small Nissan Micra (one of the more common cars in England).

By the time we got to Uncle's place, it was already 11.30pm. So, in essence, the whole of the 24th was a traveling day. We had some bread and fish curry, then landed on the bed. We were all really tired. Man, at that point, the thought of spending another 12 hours in a plane to get back to Malaysia was the least tempting offer anyone could ever make to me, no matter how homesick I was.

Ish.... But the ride from the airport to Faversham wasn't too bad. We got to see a lot of the English countryside and some parts of the London town. Everything looked to picturesque and like it could've come out for a post card or something. And when the driver announced the stops, it felt like something out of a storybook. Everything, from the accents to the brick buildings, brought me back to those old movies and stories I've read. The voice in my head even adopted an English accent. I hope it doesn't stay too long.

:)