Les Robots!

Singing la-da-da-da-da~

So, y'all know I'm a huge Simple Plan fan. Well, I have recently become a fan of Sebatien Lefebvre too! Now, if you could, you would ask me who is he? Well, he's one of the guitarists in SP (SP fan's are going, 'duh!'). By the way, I was already a fan of his collectively as a band with the others but now I'm also his fan, solo-wise. 

I know that he has an iTunes podcast with Pratick Langlois (former SP web guy) called Man of The Hour. It's like a radio thingy (I'm quite sure that there's supposed to be an 'idobi' in there somewhere). They're now on their 8th season! Sadly, I've never listened to any episodes. They talk about music, they sing and lots of other stuff too.

Anyway, that's not the point. Here's the point. Seb also has an EP (I'm googling that as we sp-... erm, as I write). He released the first EP (An EP, short for extended play, is a musical recording which contains more music than a single, but is too short to qualify as a full album) in 2008. I only heard one song from that called "I Fall For You". I heard in on Youtube. The video was directed by Chuck (SP drummer). It was amazing! 

I've always loved Seb's voice. It's very different from Pierre (lead singer) or David (bassist). It's kind of soothing and light. Another way I can describe it is that it has this smoky-ish quality to it when he sings low. He also has this unique pronunciation. Mostly it's normal but his tongue is either longer or shorter than normal. I love his voice.

So, I decided to go looking for his second EP, "Les Robots" which means "Spam" according to Google Translator. I wanted to listen to the previews at least (I think his first EP costs 7.90 USD or something). To my delight, I found that Seb put the EP on his website (I don't know about it till today) and is allowing everyone to download it for free! YES!

That's exactly what I did. I downloaded the entire EP, all 7 songs. Now to the important part; "Les Robots" rocks! It's so different from SP. Seb's songs are laid back and light. It really suits his voice. One song is just instrumental, one is in French and the other five are in English. The French song sounds wicked! It's called "Tu Me Manques" which means 'I Miss You'. I Google-translated the whole song so I could understand it. 

One of the songs he recorded was with Katie Rox (Googling it) called "Catch Me". They sing it together (Katie Rox, born Katie Biever is a Canadian singer-songwriter). Seb sings really low and when I hear it on my headphones, it's like he's right next to me. No joke! If I close my eyes, I could easily imagine Seb singing straight into my ears. I get goose bumps every time.

So, this is my message today: Listen to Sebastien Lefebvre's EP!

Les Robots - EP by Sébastien Lefebvre

Christmas Emo-isms

Christmas is over! So soon. Actually, it isn't over yet. Twelve Days of Christmas, remember? So, yay!

Anyway, it was a good Christmas this year (like every year). First up, people actually came (not like last year). They arrived and food did not get wasted. One thing though, I'm not good at entertaining people in my home. What am I supposed to do? I feed them, sure, but what then?

I'm a listener and an observer. Therefore, I make a terrible host. I just sit there and look at people. I can't start conversations. I don't know how. So, my guests end up getting quite bored and they leave early. Hmm.. that's so my fault. Oh well, never again! I really don't want to do an open house when I get my own place. The mess I have to clean up and being tired and the noise level - it's not my thing.

Another good thing this year was that I got 'Vanilla Cream' from Nad! Vanilla cream with REAL vanilla pods! OMG! That is awesome! It tastes great. So far, I've eaten it just like that and with bananas. I've only seen a vanilla pod once in my life. I saw it in a bottle at a market. RM23 for 2 pods. That's daylight robbery man! Nad managed to find some vanilla pods and she made me vanilla cream for Christmas. It's definitely the most delicious present ever! :)

Anyway, other than that, I got a bag and a tiny notebook (I love notebooks!). Nice things. I'm happy.

Actually, no. I'm not completely happy. I shouldn't be complaining or whining about this. I have so many nice things already. I just thought I'd get something else this year. Something I really, really wanted (and still want) but I didn't get it. I'm upset. I shouldn't be and it's shallow of me to be but I can't help it. :(

I definitely appreciate what I have, though. I guess I'll just get it myself later when I start working. Hmm.

Now for the emo part of my day. I haven't been all that jolly these past few days. I'm not actually sad or anything but I just seem to lack that happy spark. I can't put my finger on it. I can sense this gloomy aura or something. Weird.

People around me have been moody too. Maybe I'm rubbing off on them? They're all emo with me. What did I do la? It's kind of frustrating. I mean, I don't do anything to upset you, so then why are you upset with me? If you're upset with something or someone else, don't tunjuk muka to me la. I'm alone all day, you know. So, I really don't like facing emo people.

Imagine having to spend the entire day in you own head, then at the end of the day, you have to face emo-isms. C'mon la. Gimme a break. This is why I like to go out. I like spending time with my friends because they like talk a lot and they make me happy. After a few hours with them, I can face all the emo-isms you put in front of me. It wont be so bad.

I terasa la.

Oh! I just thought of this (thinking about it whilst typing so this is a fresh thought!). Maybe part of the reason I'm happy-less is because of Dillon. When he came yesterday, he was already tired and worn out. I terasa because he didn't want to play with me or even acknowledge me. I stayed out of the way because I could not have faced his rejection in front of my friends. I mean, I talk about him so much in school. I tell everyone about how cute he is and how he likes playing with me. What if he started crying (because he was cranky)? That would break my heart man. Being rejected by my own baby brother in front of my friends. No thank you.

Yea, that's probably part of the reason. Well, i hope tomorrow makes me feel better.

Right now, I'm going to study all the GYHO (get Your Heart On, for you who do not know) lyrics. I want to commit them all to memory, hopefully by this week. My own Simple Plan study week. What could be better!


Btw, Nad introduced me to this BLOG. It's great! Go check it out:) (Right now I'm pretending that there's someone reading my blog other than my mother. I honestly don't know if there are other people who read this. If there are, thanks! Leave a comment once in a while la)


:/

Swoon Worthy!

Hi again:) This is a 'musings' post.

First up, I want to talk about a guy. I met this guy while I was at work today (just a one-day work thing). He was about my height, had short hair but not like spiky short - more like Bieber-ish (I really couldn't find another word to describe it!). So anyway, it was as long as how Bieber used to have his hair, he also had this knitted hat, wore skinny jeans and a ring or two. 

This guy had a very vibrant aura about him. He smiled happily and in a breezy, care free way. He was so friendly! And his voice was... I really don't know how to describe it. To me, it was like hearing Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam singer). Not the same tone or sound but the feeling I get when I hear it. It's like I'm suddenly calm and I can just close my eyes and listen to it all day. It was soothing and at the same time, I felt like I was in a cocoon and his voice just wrapped around me. 

That sounded so cliché and/or weird but that's what it was like. This guys is probably... no definitely, the best looking guy I've seen with my own two eyes. I think it's not only his looks but also his sense of style, the way he walks and his aura. It all tied in to become this one, amazingly 'wow' guy. He definitely goes on the top of my list of hottest/most charming/best looking guys (if I actually had one)

I thought Orlando Bloom was great. Well, I'd pick this guy over Mr.Bloom at any time of any day. 

:)

Now, the next musing spawns from this post that I found on Tumblr:

It's funny, how when someone says they love you, and you can't really feel it, but when they say they don't love you anymore, you can feel every ounce of what was drain out of your entire being.

I've never thought about it but now that I have, I find this quote to be very accurate. We say 'I Love You' so often and it's good that we do because it helps us realise that there is love in the world, and that we are loved.

The thing is, we sometimes don't appreciate it enough. Sure, we hear someone say that they love us and we feel loved. What we don't feel is inexplicable gratitude and relief and love. We feel all that but not in the amounts that we should.

We become quite used to love that we don't truly appreciate its presence. Am I making any sense?

The quote really explains it all. When we hear that someone who once loved us (whether deeply or simply) doesn't any more, we suddenly feel the pain. It's like we had this piece of flesh on our body, so perfectly blended into our entire self that we don't realise it there. Then, when it's ripped from us, we feel the pain, the void of what was once there. 

Some people say that "I Love You" has been used too much till it has lost its power. At one point, I believed it. But now, I think we haven't used it enough that we've forgotten its true meaning and the immense effect it can have.

Tell people you love them because love can never be over rated, and cherish the love you get because love is too painful to lose.


P.S: If you are a regular reader here (and even if you are not), you should know that I published this right after I published the previous post. So chances are, you haven't read the previous post yet. Just sayin'. Keep scrolling!

Broga Hills, Semenyih

I was on top of the world! :)

I finally made it to Broga. This was in the planning stages for so long that I honestly wasn't sure if it would happen or not. Thankfully, Tong isn't flaky. He was determined to keep busy and celebrate his freedom to the fullest.

We left at 4 am (They got lost on the way to my house, again!). Me and three guys, conquering the hill (Tong keeps reminding me that I shouldn't say mountain because it wasn't a mountain). Anyway, we arrived at Broga around 5.45 am. Everything was so dark! We parked at the base which was a small palm oil plantation. I mean, really small. There were like 40-50 trees only. All planted in straight and orderly rows. Anyway, the guys were all playing scared and refused to turn off the headlights till everyone had their torchlight on.

We started climbing. Barely ten minutes into it, my legs started screaming. But I kept on going. The climb didn't start too bad, actually. Only later, when we neared the first platform, it became steeper. We reached the top of the first hill in time to watch the sunrise. It wasn't one of those postcard moments kind of sunrise but it was beautiful nonetheless.

After it was bright, we continued up. Well, we had to go down a little and then up again. We went all the way near the top. We couldn't go further because there was a group of people there and the peak wasn't all that big. We settled between two huge rocks that looked like some giant sliced it in two. The view was spectacular. I could see building form so far away. I swear, I think I saw tall KL buildings.

After snapping some pictures, we made our way down. We didn't stop on the way this time because it wasn't as tiring. My toes hurt though but it wasn't too bad. On the way down, I realised just how steep most of the climb was. I loved it! :)

We headed to a small kampong for breakfast. The kampong was located right at the Selangor - Negeri Sembilan border. I could, literally, just put one foot in Selangor and the other in Negeri Sembilan. Tong had to go to Negeri Sembilan to take a U-turn. That just tickled me!

I had soft boiled eggs. I shouldn't have been but I was completely awed that the eggs had almost white shells. Well, duh! They were kampong eggs la. Free range and all. Obviously the shells were white, unlike the egss we get here which have brown shells.

Here are some pictures:)

Jolly Good Times!

Carolling was great! :) It was done in a much smaller scale this year with only one day of carolling and 11 houses, but it still rocked!

We sang quite well. The only problem was our volume. We didn't start off loud. Also, everyone was tired by the third house! We did good, though. I had so much of fun and I'm so proud of all of us. We all remembered our parts, no one got lost and there were no tantrums. The food was good too!

Santa Claus was awesome but the best part was Santarina! She was epic! Santa bumped into her a few times along the way while dancing but she never stopped. I loved watching her! :) She should do it again next year la!

Anyway, another thing I have to celebrate is the end, like really, the end of my high school life. It's over! My last paper was at 5pm and now, I am officially NOT a high school student! I'm all grown up now, aww!

So, to celebrate this auspicious occasion, I have changed my email address. I've decided that I need a more professional sounding email. 'cutecat1402' has served me well. It has been with me all through my schooling life and it even got me started on Facebook. But the time has come for me to say goodbye.

Now, I have a new email. I hit jackpot with it because no one else chose the address that I wanted which meant that I didn't have to use numbers! :) I feel so good. The time has come for me to step out into the world and my first order of business to prepare myself is to change my email. It's a milestone! :)

Ok, enough of this la. Truth is, I just can't sleep! I'm so stoked about being free from school that I cannot shut my eyes. I think it's all the endorphins in my blood stream. The 'happy' chemical that's keeping me awake!

I'm not going to keep writing till I fall asleep, I know you have better things to do than read my rant for 10 pages. (I actually wrote down quite a lot of my thoughts during the exams. Almost 2 pages each exam cramped with words and drawings in a mere 30 minutes!)

I just have one more thought to add, Mel has a really nice smile!!! It's like the truly heart-melting kind that makes his eyes twinkle. Nice too look at. *ehem*  ;)

Didaskaleinophobia

I never want to go back to school ever again! Seriously, never, ever again!

I had a terrible nightmare last night. I was back at school for another year. This time, it was a level higher than the years before and everything was so hard. The subjects were all just crazy difficult. My notes for the day were like a foot thick; just one day! We were in an auditorium for a slide show about the topic of the day and we were supposed to take notes. I couldn't get past the first slide. I was lost within seconds. It was, quite honestly, a nightmare!

After that, I had to face all the junior students. They were monsters! They were so rude and loud and unforgiving. I got teased about everything from my head to my toes. I don't remember being that rude, or rude at all to my seniors. I'd prefer to call those little punks something a lot more terrible than just monsters.

I was in tears by the end of the first hour. I felt so defeated and angry. The teachers were rigid, the students were uncaring, the subjects were tough, to say the least, and my body ached all over from the weight of all the books and notes I had to carry. (I think that was just my subconscious mind trying to incorporate my actually aching body into my dreams)

It's like everything bad I ever had to face in school all rolled up into one day. I didn't have a bad school life. In fact, I enjoyed it. But when you take out all the good, leave only the bad and multiply that by a thousand, it'll make any sane person go mad. Never again will I go back to school. No uniforms, no cheeky little juniors and no impossibly hard subjects that will have even Einstein running for the hills.

Anyway, when I woke up, I was in tears. I've never cried because of a dream before. I've been too scared to go back to sleep, angry or upset but never have I cried. I feel mentally shaken, emotionally exhausted and physically battered. This is definitely not a good start to the day.

The worst part is, I have a paper later at 2pm. I have to be in school. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. Even now, just thinking about it makes my heart weak. This is silly. It's just a dream but it really affected me. I am not in the right mood today. Luckily for me, today's paper is just an objective one. No need for too much thinking. I hope I can make it. No panic attacks, please.

I really need an ice cream or chocolate right about now.

UPDATE:
I managed to walk into school. But my heart was working over time all the way. I just had to get out of there. I just had to.

Where Is My Only Exception?

I love who I am. I have certain issues that need to be worked out but I really do like the person I am. I just wonder if other people do?

I have friends. They like me. But is there someone out there who really likes me? I mean really, really likes me. Sometimes I just feel like that's what I want. I want that one person who really, really likes me. 

There is a song by Paramore, The Only Exception, that says, "I swore to myself that I was content with loneliness." Is that me? I don't actually feel lonely at all. Not always. Most times I'm content because I have people around me whom I love. I have hobbies and other things going for me. However, there are times when I just feel like I want that one person I can talk to at 3 in the morning. Someone I can go out with, hold hands with, and just kiss him because I can. 

I've never been lucky in that department. I've never had a relationship. Anyone I have/had a crush on either treats me like a sister/kid or is either in or ended up in a relationship with someone else. It's like I have no chance at all. Why is that?

This post is floating around on Facebook 'from guys to girls'. I'm just quoting an extract. 

"find someone who will treat you with utter respect.

Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance."

That's really all I want.

I'm not so naive and I know that for a relationship to reach that level, it has to start somewhere. Problem is, I haven't even found that starting point. 

It seems to me that all almost all the nice guys are taken, some are gay and the rest aren't interested. How bout giving the weird girl a chance for a change?

I'm not beautiful, but I'm not ugly. I'm not completely sociable but I'm not socially inept either. I can be fun. I'm shy, I'm no genius, and I have a weird sense of style. I'm not your model type, trendy, fashionable and outgoing young lady. I'm different and I'm proud of who I am. 

Is that why it's hard? Because I'm not 'normal' and most guys don't go for 'not normal'? I don't know. All I know is that I have faith. He's out there somewhere. My starter, my future husband. Maybe they're the same people, maybe they aren't. But they're out there and I will never stop searching. 

I do feel kinda defeated right now, however.

Theme-less; Just The Way I Like It.

I've been wondering, maybe I should have a theme for my blog. Write about one specific field or something.

Hahahaha! No, my blog does not have a theme. I'm not going to pick a field of interest and stick to blogging only about said interest. A lot of people can do that, because they're good at it. Not me. I cannot stick to just 'art' or 'politic'. My blog cannot have a theme because I cannot stick to one.

This blog is about what goes on in my brain. That's why I started it. I need somewhere I can just let out whatever is in my brains and heart, much like a diary. This is my digital journal. I don't post uber personal stuff here mostly because I don't have much of an uber personal life. So, I mostly write about things that tickle my fancy or ignites a spark or whatever I'm keen on at the moment.

That's it, really. That's all this blog is about. I want this to be a record of stuff that I do in my life. I want to be able to look back at random on one of my posts and think, "that really did happen, didn't it?". If at the same time, I happen to amuse you with my slow, quick-wit or my highly sophisticated bordering on silly sarcasm, then I'm glad I could help.

I like writing and this is my writing tool. I have to remember to thank the creators of Google and Blogger. They're both pretty smart people. Probably pretty and smart... (guys can be pretty, right?)

Anyway, I also want to thank people who've read this blog, or is reading it now. Even though I can't see you and you probably don't exist, thanks for tuning in. I hope I haven't assaulted your intelligence. Seriously, my mad skills of sarcasm can be pretty deadly. And dry humour. (Wait, do people pour water on their computers to make wet humour?)

Oh well, whatever it is, I'm going to keep this up. Maybe more exciting things will happen in my life and I might get smarter which in turn will make this blog a lot more interesting.

For now, toodles folks. I've got some butterscotch sauce to eat!

Round House!

At first, I was going to write abut how cranky I was feeling. Not to worry though, I have just shifted gears. Instead of ultra-cranky me, I'm going to write about my future round house!

For those of you who do not know, I want to live in a round house when I grow up. Queer, yes. It is a little odd that, unlike normal people who want fancy apartments or gigantic square houses, I want a round house. I first decided on this when I read that Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter lived in a round house. That isn't the only reason I want a round house though.

I think round houses are underrated. They're beautiful. Round houses feel almost magical. I don't know how or why but they draw me. And so, I have decided that I want a round house. I wanted to live on a farm first but now, I want a ROUND farm house!

I found this layout on wordpress. I Googled 'round houses' and this is what I found.

Queer Houses for queer people

It's beautiful! I can just imagine how this house would look. Anyway, I used this layout as a guide and designed my own round house floor plan. I don't like the round library and oval parlour (what is a parlour, anyway?). Also, this layout seemed to be a multi-storey house. I'd prefer a single storey round house. So, I worked the floor plan of my future house (using 'Paint' of all programs). Here's how it turned out.

I hope you can forgive the lack of architectural skills in the designing of this floor plan

As you can see, I scraped the whole 'round in a round' idea. Instead, I decided that straight walls, all pointed to the center of the house was the way to go. At first, I designed it so as to have only one bathroom, a communal bathroom, because this is how it is at home. I changed it though because I think having a master bedroom with a personal bathroom might be fun.

Anyway, the living room is connected to the kitchen because I love food and I want easy excess to it. Also, it's fun to watch TV while cooking. Next, the kitchen has a separated wet kitchen area. This gives this house a kind of non circular look but I like the idea of a wet kitchen.

After that, there are three bedrooms. I don't know why I put in three or why I didn't just stop at two or maybe gone to four. As for now, I'll just pretend that bedroom 1 is for mama, bedroom 2 is for bro and bedroom 3 is mine. I'm sure that it will be readjusted as time goes by.

The library is the final room. I wanted a separate room for all my books. I only have one bookshelf full now, but mama has tons and I'm sure I'll be collecting more. Also, I think the library can be a den too. Oh, and as a place for me to display whatever stuff  that I've collected over the years.

There's a staircase in my layout, which is (as I'm sure you would have already pointed out to me if you could) a contradiction of my earlier statement. Yes, I prefer a single storey house. The staircase is there as a backup. And if not, I'll just leave it there to put stuff on! :)

Or maybe, I'll make a tower up there? Yeah, that sounds good! And instead of a staircase, I'll just use a rope ladder and a firemen pole!

Ok, so yeah. This is my plan. Right now, I'm not even 20 yet but I'm sure that in years to come, I will be saving up on cash and learning as many skills as possible so I can build this house with my own hands. Oh, and probably find a husband to humour all my queer dreams. :)

*Preferred materials: Granite and big, big stones like the ones the Egyptians used for the Pyramids! But I'll settle for clay bricks and cement or whatever it is they use these days. 

Improvising Fatherhood, a Nate Smith Blog

I stumbled upon this blog a few days ago. It's called "Improvising Fatherhood". It's about 'the comedy about being a dad'. Nate Smith, who is an improv comedian decided to start this blog to record his journey through fatherhood. The main star is, of course, his son Chandler.

Because Nate Smith is a comedian, he has this amazing ability to laugh at anything and make you laugh at anything. He finds laughter and projects it well. Just by reading his posts, I can tell how much he loves his son and his wife and being a father.

I stayed up reading about three quarters of his entire blog. I saw the little man grow up from foetus to 2 years and 3 months old. He's such an adorable baby.

Anyway, the reason I wanted to mention this blog is because I think it's amazing. Nate Smith and his wife are two really funny people who seem to be taking parenthood in their strides. They're having fun and are learning just as much as Baby Chandler is.

I think it's a great idea to document their son's life like this. Who knows what the baby will think when he's all grown up, but for now, this is a great read.

It's really cool to read about the simple things Chandler does that totally mesmerises Nate. Things like calling his father 'Eeeeee!' or dancing when he thinks no one is looking. Add to that how awed Nate gets when his son learns something new. Babies can bring real joy to someone's life and it's wonderful to see just how much joy this one little kid can grant his parents.

Nate can be pretty funny about Chandler, taking pictures and making up stuff that he imagines Chandler would say. It's a lot of fun. Everytime I read it, I can just laugh out loud and completely feel the love they have for each other.

So, I hope people who read this (if there are any) would check out this blog.
Improvising Fatherhood - the comedy about being a dad.

Dude, I've Lost The Signal!

Hello!?

Are you listening? Can anybody hear me? Or am I talking to myself?

That's how I feel sometimes. Not invisible, just mute. I spend most of my day talking to myself. And since I'm talking to myself, I just use brainpower. No actually voice is needed. But when I do talk to other people, I feel like I'm not actually being heard.

I say things, tell stories I wanted to tell, describe my feelings and wonder aloud, but it doesn't seem to penetrate. I stay mute. Where's the button? Can I please be heard?

That's really all I want. Someone to listen. To listen to me and then contribute their thoughts. Instead, I always end up cutting my sentence short because my words don't seem interesting enough for people. They just end up saying whatever is on their mind. It's like they weren't even listening to me. Like they couldn't hear me speak or even see my lips move, let alone comprehend what I was saying.

It's quite frustrating. Imagine this; you're living in your head the whole day. No one else to contribute to the conversations you're having with yourself. Just you and the ever faithful crack pack in your head. Then when you finally get the opportunity to have a real conversation with someone non-imaginary, you can't. Not because you lost your voice from lack of use, but because they aren't interested enough to hear you.

They just want to talk. They're not even remotely interested in what you have to say f it has nothing to do with their chosen subject. So why waste your energy? You just nod along, saying a sentence or two in between pauses. Why bother trying to steer the conversation to something you want to say? They're never going to listen anyway. That's what I feel like.

However, it doesn't stop me from trying. maybe I should stop, though. Because losing over and over again just becomes harder and harder. Which only leaves me with one option. Create more imaginary friends!