This Is What I Call True Love...

I was rereading, (yes, rereading) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and I came across my favourite part of any novel I've ever read (not that I've read many novels, maybe a dozen or so). It was the part about Snape being in love with Lily, Harry's mother.




"'Look ... at ... me ...' he (Snape) whispered. The green eyes (of Harry Potter, which is exactly the same as his mother's) found the black, but after a second something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, blank and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more." Snape wanted to see Lily's eyes before he died. He wanted it to be the last thing he saw.






"From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe (same as Lily's patronus): she landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. 'After all this time?,' said Dumbledore. 'Always,' said Snape. He loved her so much even his patronus (which is unique to each person) took the shape of Lily's.




"'And next, Snape was kneeling in Sirius's old bedroom. Tears were dripping from the end of his hooked nose as he read the old letter from Lily. The second page carried only a few words: 'could ever have been friends with Gellert Grindelwald. I think her mind's going, personally! Lots of love, Lily'. Snape took the page bearing Lily's signature, and her love, and tucked it inside his robes. Then he ripped in two the photograph he was also holding, so that he kept the part from which Lily laughed, throwing the portion showing James and Harry back on to the floor, under the chest of drawers..." Snape wanted Lily's love; he always did but never had it.


Snape loved Lily so much that he even pleaded to Voldemort to spare her (kind of inhumane if you think about it because he didn't care about James or the baby, Harry). But she died anyway. Snape, henceforth, became mean and bitter and he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve (as most people do). Also, Snape strived to keep Harry safe from harm only because he was Lily's son. He loved her alone and he did all in his power to save the last living memory he had of her (in Harry's eyes) until his death.


To me, this kind of love is untouchable, unconditional, a little selfish but still powerful.

Avatar

The modem was out for a couple of days and this blog was meant to be posted on Sunday night. So, I'm going to do it now instead and hopefully I get everything out and don't miss anything that was on my mind that day.

I went to the movies on Sunday night with my brother, mother and cousin. We watched Avatar. I have to say that I wasn't really keen on watching this movie. I've heard good things about it but it just didn't attract me. So, I entered the cinema with no expectations at all (which I think I should do all the time). I actually enjoyed the movie. The storyline was pretty basic; lost hero saves a village (or planet in this case) and ends up happily married to the chief's daughter who was initially betrothed to someone else. I'm not complaining though, because Avatar was a really good version of that kind of storyline. The effects were superb and the imagination behind the movie was excellent. The whole idea of another race (the Na'vi) and their culture was beautiful. The various plants and animals and traditions were well thought out. I particularly loved the idea that the Na'vi would pray over the creatures they killed (they'd rather not kill anything at all) and thank them for their service (as food) or apologise for killing them. We depend on one another (remember the circle of life??) and that should always be kept balanced and not taken for granted or abused. Something I think we humans have not mastered. So, lesson one: be thankful and don't let greed or pride overcome you (which, I'm sorry to say, is happening non-stop among us, myself included).

The other part I loved about the movie was the faith the Na'vi had in their God/Deity/Great Mother. It was simple and strong. They were different individuals but all united in their faith. The way they prayed when trying to save the scientist was mesmerising. They were united physically and also spiritually. When the hero, Jake Sully, was praying to Eywa (the Nav'i God) to help them through this mess (the war), the Chief's daughter, Neytiri, told him that the Great Mother does not take sides, she only ensures the balance of everything. It made sense to me because God doesn't take sides does he? God helps everyone. Anyway, towards the end when all hope seemed lost, the various animals on the planet came to their aid and saved the planet. Neytiri cried, "Eywa heard you! She answered your prayer!". So, lesson two; don't mess with God, especially if people have that simple faith in God, because he can undo you as simply as he made you.

Finally, I loved the fact that the hero found a way to become a Na'vi forever. That way, he can stay with his bride and he can use his legs (he was disabled as a human). It was expected (the whole happy ending thing) but it was crafted very well and it didn't feel artificial. I also liked the part where Neytiri found Jake in human form and called him 'my Jake'. That was just so romantic. It got me (yes, I cried!).

So, that was it. Avatar. A good movie, well thought out, well made, well edited and well played. I haven't been this into a fantasy world since reading my first novel (I was completely immersed that I sometimes thought maybe all this fiction was real, or could be real). If you haven't watched it, please do so soon!!

How was Christmas??

Fun. This year, Christmas felt like Christmas. We had family over (they may be annoying, but still family), we had cookies, we had Christmas dinner with people we like and we relaxed. The presents were good too (THANKS!!), and the food was pretty okay. The tree and crib were lit almost the whole day and all was calm (mostly) and happy. But of course, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas if something didn't break into a million pieces. This year, it was a jar (so now we can buy a new one.. hehe(:) This was the first Christmas that we didn't take a family picture in front of the tree. On the good side, this was Dillon Li Fernandez's first Christmas. Today he is 3 months and 3 days old!

On another note, the New Year seems alot closer on this side of Christmas. A few more days of Christmas visiting, and then a few days of recovering from Christmas visiting. After that, it's a whole new year again. A whole new adventure (a real adventure because I'm going to work half the year then go to Form 6). I feel excited, nervous, scared and anxious all at once. I know this is going to sound funny but, it feels odd to be growing up. I'm constantly aware that I'm growing up, and that I'm coming into my own. It feels very uplifting and overwhelming at the same time. Sometimes I have these moments where I just stop and think "Wow! I'm growing up so fast".

Anyway, there's alot I want to say (or actually type) now, but my train of thought is moving way to fast for my fingers. So, I'll just leave it here.

24 hours 30 minutes and counting!!!

Christmas is almost here!!! This year, Christmas really feels great. Last year was sad and this year is a little sad too but it gets easier. :):) I can't wait for Christmas and the New Year is approaching too. Everything feels fresh this time around.

Parking Maniacs!

So this is the topic of the day.....

Have you ever been in a parking area trying to look for a free space for almost 30mins? :: I have
Have you ever been in a parking area trying to look for a free space for almost 30mins, then have it stolen from you by some rude, don't-know-where-you-got-your-licence-from driver?? :: I have

I went to MidValley today with my Mom for lunch. I spent like half an hour (maybe more, maybe less. I didn't actually check the time) just driving around in the parking bay looking for a spot. We went round and round... and round and round and round... without finding one single spot. No one was leaving. Or maybe they were, but just not somewhere we could see. Anyway, after a few rounds, we thought of sending the car for a wash so that the car-wash guys could park it for us (also, the car needed a wash(:). BAD IDEA! It costs RM28.50 just to wash your car in MidValley (as the Malaysians say "Cekik Duit Man!"). So we decided to try again. Round and round we went, once more. Here's the good part though; just as we were about to give up, one lady (who was heading towards the lift, having just parked her own car), pointed out to us a car that was leaving. ALLELUIA! Eventually, we parked and finally entered the mall. Once there, we spent about the same amount of time (once again, I'm not sure because I didn't check the time) in the mall because it was late and we had to get back.

That was just crammed parking bays and good people. Now I move on to terribly rude, don't-know-where-you-got-your-licence-from drivers. When we got back to the office (UMMC/PPUM) I dropped my mother off and went to look for parking. This was probably the worst part of the day. I went all the way up (there's about 9 levels in the parking building) and found not one space. So I made my way back down. On the 7th level, while waiting in line for the cars to move (there's usually a jam because people park, pay their tickets, then leave), a man walked to a parked car on my right. It was perfect. He could easily reverse out, and I could easily move in. Or so I thought. The driver in front of me immediately took that spot. Apparently, he didn't see me SIGNAL! I was mad of course, but I calmed down and continued searching. Then on the 3rd level, the same thing happened again. This time it was slightly worse. I was already moving into the lot, and another driver just sped in. UNBELIEVEABLE!

Talk about utter rudeness. I did find a place eventually but I just can't get past how rude people can be in parking lots. It so frustrating and irritating and maddening! I mean really, didn't they teach you common courtesy in driving class? Or maybe at home?? Where are your manners??? Seriously, everyone should enrol in etiquette classes. It might do them some good.

p.s: I wish I had taken a picture of these cars. I could post it, embarrass them, and they wouldn't even know it! :)

Wohoo!! Made It :)

YES!! We did some serious clearing up today. We still have lots to do but we definitely accomplished a lot. Some furniture was moved around, the washing machine did some work and we threw stuff away too. The hall looks kind of different but still very much the same (if that's possible).

PRESENTS!! I finished wrapping some presents. Gifts from me are all wrapped and under the tree. I was the first one there (as usual) :) I hope they like what I got them. But they usually do, so I'm not so worried. I just can't wait to see my presents all wrapped and placed under the tree. I'll have a great time just trying to guess what it is. I'm usually far off with my guesses but it's always fun to try!

COOKIES!! Yes, I'm going to bake this year. I'm only starting the day after tomorrow though. I have everything ready, just need to get some time to start off. This year I'm baking more than usual and I hope I'll be done by Christmas. Oh, and I hope it all comes out well too :)

CHRISTMAS!! On Facebook, I was invited to join a discussion entitled "Christmas or X'mas?". At first I was of the same mind as most people on the forum.

"We should use Christmas, not X'mas, because X'mas has no 'Christ' in it and we are celebrating Christ's birth. X'mas is a commercial thing and the birth is most definitely not a commercial thing. And, apparently in Japan, people say X'mas instead of Christmas because of some anti-religious thing".

After that, my mom said something that stuck with me. She told me this (not word for word though, just something like this):

"I don't see why people should make a fuss about all this. It doesn't matter that we say Christmas or X'mas, because everyone is celebrating Christ's birth, whether they knowingly do it or not. Commercialising Christmas (into X'mas) is just celebrating Christ's birth on a larger scale".

So after some thought, I agree with my mother. It shouldn't matter how you say it, it's the thought that counts. So Happy Christmas and Merry X'mas to you all!

Slow day...

Woke up kind of late today. We were exhausted after yesterday's shopping spree. Today we were supposed to do some organising and clearing up but some of my classmates and I went out for lunch with my biology teacher, Pn.Nik. It was fun seeing her again without the stress of SPM. She looked good. I think the fact that she's going to have a school-free month left her looking really relieved. She cooked for us and we sat and talked about so many things. She really gets us. She treats us like friends but still she taught us so much. Pn.Nik is probably the only teacher I'm going to miss next year.

Later, we (momma and I) went to church. The logic being that we can catch up on the cleaning tomorrow. Hopefully we do. anyway, it's a short post this time. So, Aloha!

Shop Till You Drop..!

Today was exactly as the title says. We (me and my mom) shopped till we dropped! We bought clothes mostly and some presents for people as well as new curtains (finally!). The curtains look awesome, a little too long but nothing we can't adjust. Christmas was in the air. There were trees and decorations, lights and Santa hats everywhere. We first went to Carefour the whole morning, then we went home hoping to get some rest but my aunty and cousin came so we went out again for more shopping.

Jusco was having a sale (as usual) and I bought my first branded jeans!! Goggles!! I actually found jeans that fit my waits and has the perfect length. I also got a par of pants. So basically, I'm covered for Christmas and New Year. There was also a vest in Jusco that I just fell in love with. It felt so good in my hands and so comfortable. The only problem was that it was too big for me and there was only one left. It was sad, but I'm think I'm going to live. I'll always find something else somewhere:)

Tomorrow's project is to stay home and do some major organising and cleaning. Also, time to wrap the presents. My brother is coming home from the altar servers camp tomorrow and I can't risk him finding his unwrapped present lying around anywhere except under the tree (wrapped of course). So, I'm off to dream sweet dreams and have a great day again tomorrow!

Stay Away From The Bookstore!

Yesterday, we went carolling again. We sang at 9 flats, almost all of which were on the third or fourth floor. So you can imagine how tired I am. It was fun though. The Santa of the day was rocking. (S)He did the robot dance and hip shaking stuff. It was kind of hilarious too. But the best part of all was the shuffle. Who knew Santa could dance like that?? haha!

As for today, I went out with my friends to Sunway Pyramid. It was great. We enjoyed ourselves, or at least I know I did. We saw this movie called zombieland. It was, in my opinion, the stupidest movie of all time. The producers call it a horror comedy(silly right?). The funny parts were good and the gory, bloody, zombie parts were just disgusting. I'D PREFER MY COMEDY BLOODLESS PLEASE. Anyway, that's the last time I let my friends choose a movie. If I had my way, we'd have watched The Princess and the Frog (Rahman didn't want to watch that), New Moon (Rahman didn't want to watch that either) or Avatar (Adeline didn't want to watch that). So we ended up with a funny, gory, disgusting but mercifully short (1 hours 40 minutes) zombie movie. My favourite part of the show was Woody Harrelson. That guy made me laugh and I never closed my eyes when he was on screen. After the movie, we had lunch then went Christmas shopping, or at least I did while everyone else tagged along. I got something from my mom but I'm not going reveal it here (Ma, if you're reading this, it's for me to know and for you to find out on Christmas day:)). Also, I don't know if any of my friends noticed but I was actually avoiding the bookstores. Anytime I got too close to MPH or Popular I'd steer away. I had money in my pockets and I lots of free time. Being the bookworm that I am, it was a dangerous combination. $$ + time = a shopping spree in bookstores. I had to stay away to ensure that I didn't go home completely broke and laden with tons of books!

Anyway, I guess that's it for now. Tomorrow I'm going shopping for ingredients for my Christmas baking. I'm only starting next week because if I start now everything will be gone before Christmas Eve (we love to eat!!). So, I have to get my list ready. Buhbye!

Well, well, well...

I saw my baby brother today. He is just so adorable! He does what most babies do all the time. Eat, play, poop and smile :) But I can just watch him do exactly that the whole day and not get bored. He was excited to see me so he didn't sleep but at least we got to play together. He's grown so much and his hair is getting so long that he needs a hair cut.

At night, there was carolling with the BEC. That was fun too. Singing carols house to house from 8.00pm till 12.00am. I'm totally exhausted but very pleased with the day. Tomorrow, I have to tackle the mess that is my room. Hopefully I can finish it by the afternoon.

Testosterone!

Futsal today! I didn't play but my brother did. It was really tiring though. We we're out the whole day. Church in the morning, then futsal till around 6. Just as in any futsal tournament, there was of course drama. The testosterone levels were HIGH therefore there were injuries and fighting. I don't think I've ever been to a futsal tournament without fights and arguments or injuries. But all was well. My brother's team lost but it wasn't too bad. We all enjoyed ourselves. I'm thinking of getting jerseys for the supporters. There were about as many supporters as they were players. I'm thinking a flourescent colour with the word 'SUPPORTERS!' printed on the back. It might works.

Anyway, I'm going to visit my dear baby brother tomorrow. I haven't seen him in about 3 weeks! GOSH I MISS HIM!! I can't wait to just watch him the whole day. :)

2nd Chance Home

We visited the 2nd Chance Home (its linked BTW)in Old Klang Road today. Just to spread the christmas cheer. The men staying there were ex-convicts trying to rebuild their lives. It was definitely an experience. They all accepted that they have to change to live a better life and I have faith that they won't relapse because they're all just good people with bad pasts. We sang some carols for them and one of the founders told us about his own past experience. Apparently, he too was an ex-convict and he found God while in prison. His story was amazing. It wasn't anything special like a miracle or what not. It was simple. He told us about how he developed a fever when he first entered jail and how his 12 cell mates all wrapped him up in their own blankets and lifted him towards the one, small, 40 watt light bulb so he could sweat the fever out. That got to me. You hear stories about how prisoners are all mean and bullies and thugs but when you hear something as sweet as this, how can you not feel a little lifted by the fact that these prisoners have some good left in them?

Anyway, the house itself was amazing. It was a one story banglow. The ceiling was wood and the whole house was just so tidy (it had the characteristics of my dream house). There was a board of rules and regulations in the hall for the residents to follow (something I think all homes should have.. haha!) with the usual rules you'd expect. There was this one man (for the life of me I can't remember his name:( ) who would be leaving the home in 2010. You could see the excitement in his face. He kept telling anyone who would listen about leaving next year. How happy he'd be to go back to life and his family, to make them proud.

One thing they all have in common is their unconditional love for God. It's really something to see these men speaking so lovingly and reverently about God. I was born into my faith. Don't get me wrong, I love my religion and I love God, but to see people who are so obviously attached to God and who would follow his word wherever it led them was abit unnerving and mostly just spectacular. They made me feel ashamed about the times I've forgotten God or didn't have enough faith. I guess this year is all about finding faith in my faith (hehe.. see how I played around with the words?) and God just wanted to squeeze in another lesson before next year. :)

So, that was a great experience that I felt I should share. Most people and groups or organisations visit old folks home or orphanages (nothing wrong with that) but people rarely visit homes like this. So it was fun to get a chance. Thanks for tuning in.. LOL!

Freedom Has Settled In..

Today was just awesome!

Me and Nadiah (Nadiah did all the work) baked a cake for the farewell party.

It taste good if I do say so myself.

After the cake baking, i went to the salon to get my hair done. I did it to mark my post-SPM, pre-STPM days. Here's how it went..
I had my hair bleached first so that the colour would stand out
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Here I am with red highlights! (cant really see it in this picture)

Anyway, the red hair is like a flag marking my 'freedom'. I honestly couldn't stop smiling all through the process because I was so excited. I think some of the customers we're a little freaked at my expression. But I feel awesome now.

After that I had a farewell party thrown by our tuition class. The teachers are really great. They're all so friendly, like kids themselves (perasan muda!). I'm really going to miss them.

Sir Suben in white, Sir Jai is the fair one in black

:)

So that was the day!!!

This Is Not How I Pictured It

It has been a terrible day. I thought that finishing SPM meant that I would enjoy life and freedom a bit more than usual. Turns out, I was a little wrong. Everything seems to be going haywire now. Things getting lost, people getting stressed. If this is what freedom after SPM feels like, then I think I'd like to go back to form 4 please!! I hope tomorrow gets better.

Enough about the day. Time for me to reflect about the day's revelation. I realised today that I actually still have a lot of things to learn. I may know a lot about somethings, but evidently, I don't know anything about a lot of things. I've realised that I have to be humble and accept whatever lessons I get, no questions asked. I'm not all-knowing. So, I just have to accept that there are older and wiser people out there. And the only way for me to be completely accepting of other views is, I have to first be honest. Honest in everything I do and say. Only after that can I really learn from LIFE, I think.

I also realised that I've grown up alot this past year. I probably still have a lot of growing up to do but I'm proud of how far I've come:) I'm not the same person I was 1 year ago. And I don't think I'll be the same person I am now, next year. We're always changing. It's evolution. I think.. no.. I know that I've finally come to terms with that.

Anyway, I probably sound to philosophical already. But this blog is a place for me to turn my thoughts into writing. So, chao!

I Dink I'b Coming Down Wid Sumding..

Argh!! I feel terrible. I don't know if I'm hot or cold? My legs are like jelly. On top of that, there was 5 hours of tuition today. I can only hope and pray that whatever I learned to day will come out in the exam tomorrow.

One thing's for sure, whether I can answer or not, tmorrow is officially the last day of my form 5 year. School's OUT!! After that it's just freedom, fun and lazing around. Some people said that it might not be all fun all the time, but I beg to differ. I'll make it fun. You are what you do, right? I am.
So, I have to beat this cold! You wont get me. I wont let you! Hehe.. Bring on the FUN!

After tomorrow, I'll go on a reading marathon. I have a few new novels I'm saving. But first, I have to finish the Harry Potter Marathon! Harry Potter kept me going through SPM, and I'm sure it'll keep me going after SPM!

P.S: I hate being (almost) alone. My aunty and grandmother do their own thing so I'm basically alone.. and I hate it!! There isn't much to do when you're home alone. Watching TV, playing games and even cleaning the house isn't fun when there's no one to accompany you:( MOMMA COME HOME!!

BOREDOM!

Okay. Today was... okay. My mom asked me if I could teach her how to blog. It'll be really cool to see her posts! I think I'd probably enjoy it setting up her blog more than she would (ha ha!). I just can't wait for that day:)
Anyway, I wanted to post something here but I have no idea what to say. Today was just one of those days where I felt happy and content the whole day. There was nothing that particularly bothered me and nothing that overjoyed me either. I don't know whether to love this kind of days or to hate them. Don't get me wrong, I'd definitely love to be content everyday, but not without some adventure. Today wasn't even a lazy day, just an ordinary one. I think I'd prefer to have a life full of new stuff to do and adventures to face. I just HATE feeling bored. Its the worst feeling ever. All I do when I'm bored is sit and read or play solitaire. But this can't be it right?? There has to be more to life than just sitting around, reading and playing solitaire. I'm sure there is but I guess I just haven't figured it out yet. I hope I do soon though, because after my exams, I'm going to be home all day and I don't want boredom to be my new best friend. Well, until I have something better to say, bye!

Can I get any more bored??

This is what I do when I'm bored. I write. Only now I'm a little more high tech. Anyway, I'm feeling a little lost right now. I'm almost done with my SPM (or O-levels)and I'm more than a little afraid of what's coming up next. I have no clue as to what I want to pursue when I go to college or university. I like reading and writing so should I study English? I want to help change the world so should I do politics or law? I also like helping people figure out their problems so should I do psychology?

I was thinking this through a few days ago til I almost lost it. I was so frustrated and confused. I felt like I was trapped in a box with no way out. But most of all, I was afraid. I was probably headed for a major meltdown. I wondered how could God let me down? How could he let me feel so lost? Why did he leave me in the dark? I prayed and I prayed asking for help. Then I remembered someone telling me that God can only help me if I let him. So I sat still and quiet, listening. Slowly but surely I started feeling much better.


I just accepted that even though I may not know what God has in store for me but I know he has a plan. Something that was meant for me. I just have to go with the flow and not plan too far ahead. This helped me out a lot. Being someone who always has a plan, it was hard to let go and move on without one but I think I can do it now. It's like a revelation. It feels very refreshing to be able to live life as it comes. Day to day. In all this chaos, I've also gained something I've been trying to get for a while now. Patience. It's in my grasp and I can finally wait without agitation.

So anyway, this is this week's revelation. Stay tuned for more! haha:):)

Physical Tension.. (laughter really IS the best medicine)

I (and every other pure science SPM candidate) have 3 physics papers tomorrow. Kind of a dusk til dawn thing. If you're wondering, I HATE PHYSICS!!.. So, I'll be so relieved when it's over.

Anyway, the real reason I'm here now is to rant about Jit Murad.
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But before that, I need you to understand how my brain works. When I become a fan of something or someone, I tend to do some research about it so I know what it is I'm becoming a fan of. For example, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a huge Simple Plan fan. So, naturally, I needed to research them. I learnt the band's history, they're preffered genre and whatever else they were up to professionally (private lives and sensational gossip just don't attract me).
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Which brings me back to Jit Murad.

My mom took me to his one-man show 'One Load Of BullJit'

and I was an instant fan. Yes, he was crude, rude, and vulgar, but he was also undeniable funny, witty and amazing. I never knew who Jit Murad was till that day. When the show was over, Jit came out the backstage door (which was right next to the lift) and he looked right at me! (I sound so school girlish:)) But me being me, I turned away real fast because
1. i was taken by surprise and
2. i was hiding the fact that i was blushing like mad (I'm not his type, I know).

But anyway, I came home and first thing I did was switch on the computer and look up Jit Murad on wikipedia. To my dismay, he was not in wikipedia due to the fact that he isn't really recognised internationally. But I did find some other sites with some info on him. So now, I know who he is (actor/playwright/comedian), what he's done (acted/playwrote/comedy), and how he came to be.

*Phew* I finally got that out. SO, I'm going to any Jit Murad shows (if any) in the future!

:)

Heya!!!.. This is my FIRST blog:) haha!.. So, here I am, blogging.

Anyway, CHRISTMAS is here:):).. I can't wait. I put up the tree yesterday so we're all set for the holidays.Time for joy and time for cheer.

I'll post another soon, when I get home.